A look at the prevailing (mal)practice of polygamy in Malaysia today — Norani Othman

According to Penang Religious Department director Datuk Sazali Hussein if Penang men (Muslim) no longer need to seek permission from their first wives in order to take another bride, they are then able to “help curb the problem of unmarried women” (seewww.malaysiandigest.com)

This statement was made in response to a suggestion by a reader in Utusan Malaysia(October 18) that conditions for polygamy be eased or relaxed in order to help women of an advanced age who are still unmarried.

There are two assumptions embedded in this short and vague statement: (1) unmarried women of advanced age are posing a problem; and (2) that this problem can be alleviated if these unmarried women are allowed to get married as second, third or fourth wives, i.e. in a polygamous union.

There is no factual basis or data to support the view that women of over 30 years of age are posing a social problem. It is also ridiculous to suggest that the practice of polygamy by Muslim men can in any way help to curb or solve a “problem” caused by unmarried women above 30 years in age.

The polygamy research project undertaken by a group of scholars and academic researchers supported by SIS Forum Malaysia (popularly known as Sisters in Islam) have collected some interesting data about the practice of polygamy among Muslims in Malaysia.

The study shows that polygamous men have caused hardships and misery to women and children in their plural families, especially first wives and their children. In the in-depth studies done in the polygamy project we find that over 75 per cent of polygamous husbands are unable to fulfil their responsibilities as provider and protector to their wives and children in their plural marriages. Over 80 per cent of first wives claimed that their respective husbands have failed to continue in providing the required and necessary nafkah zahir(material/economic maintenance) for them and their children. Among first wives who have never been working or employed, 45 per cent said that they have to find full-time employment in order to provide food for their family.

Seventy per cent of the children of the first wives interviewed in the case studies said that their lives have been negatively or adversely affected since their fathers took a second wife. Many husbands themselves admitted that they are unable to be fair and just in their practice of giliran (spending time with wives and children) although only 34 per cent of husbands said that upon reflection they would advise their sons and other men not to embark on polygamy given the difficulty and problem of fulfilling financial responsibilities and managing harmony or stability in family life.

Further interviews in our 60 life histories of husbands, wives and children in polygamous families revealed that a majority of women and adult children have to supplement if not provide the bulk of nafkah zahir or financial support to their respective families or households. Neglected wives have to turn to their eldest son or daughter to help provide or supplement the meagre household income to sustain basic needs of the household. 

In other words, wives and children of polygamous men are often forced to undertake the basic duty and responsibility of a husband which goes against the grain of classical fiqh reasoning which allows polygamy only upon the strict condition that husbands do not cause darar syarie or harm (materially and emotionally) to any members of their existing family or marriage.

It is clear that in Islamic legal thought polygamy is a conditional privilege and not a right of Muslim men. The Quran also expresses doubt that men can be just or fair in polygamous marriages and encourages monogamy instead (An-Nisa/4:129).

In our study, the reason very often cited by a majority of men, religious figures or ulama and even some women (mainly second wives)is that “polygamy is permissible in Islam in order to avoid the sin of zinah (sexual relations outside of marriage)”. This raises important questions about the meaning of marriage, marital commitment, love and caring for wives and children among contemporary Malaysian Muslims. It seems the priority is that sexual desires must be fulfilled legally without due consideration of the negative impact of polygamy upon a majority of its family members.

* Norani Othman, a founding member of Sisters in Islam, is currently one of its board members and a Research Fellow at SIS Forum Malaysia.