Parents don’t own their children, or do they?

Deputy Prime Minister and the Women, Family and Community Development minister, Wan Azizah Wan Ismail, recently made a statement requesting members the public who are harshly criticising those involved in child marriage cases in the country, to try understand the predicament the parents of the child are in.

“If you understand the way they live, their way of life, you would have a little bit of understanding of why it happens,” she said, after the latest case of child marriage in Kelantan, between a 15-year-old girl and a 44-year-old man, was reported.

I suppose Wan Azizah was referring to the financial difficulties faced by the parents, thus she understands their decision to try to “reduce their burden” by giving up their child for marriage, especially since their religious beliefs permit it.

Well, if that is her opinion, then be it. However, I beg to differ.

I believe child marriage happens for one reason and one reason only. And that reason has nothing to do with a family's financial constraints. Nor does it have anything to do with religious beliefs.

Quite frankly, I believe child marriage happens because parents think they own their children.

Giving birth is equivalent to child ownership

You see, some parents think giving birth to a child gives them the prerogative of taking ownership of a child. Instead of acting like responsible guardians and deciding in the best interests of their child, parents make decisions based on what's best for themselves.

From the moment some parents decide on using the cheapest diapers and the cheapest milk formula which are within their budget, these parents continue making countless decisions based on what works for them and never based on what’s in the best interest of the child.

This includes feeding the child with junk foods instead of preparing nutritious meals for them; handing over cell phones to keep the child occupied instead of spending quality time together; sending children to the nearest possible schools instead of seeking the best school that could provide the children with the best education; and the list goes on.

Sadly, the same list also includes shifting the burden of responsibility by marrying off the child instead of working harder to fulfil the needs of the child.

Children are parents’ properties

Yes, child marriage takes place when parents treat their children as their property. When they can no longer afford to keep their property, they wash their hands of the property by transferring it to someone else. It is this screwed-up mentality which leads parents to resort to demeaning actions such as child marriage. And it is this same screwed-up mentality which enables parents not to be held accountable for transferring their parental responsibilities to another adult under the pretence of child marriage

But then again, in the eyes of law, children are in fact treated as property – after all, kidnapping children is illegal because it is the equivalent of stealing the property of someone. When children die from heatstroke after they are left unattended in a parked car by their parents, no prosecution is involved, because property owners are not legally required to protect their properties.

Combating child marriage

As far as I am concerned, the only way to combat child marriage is to deny parents from taking ownership of their children – instead, children should be placed under the care of the government. As such, the government should bear the responsibility of ensuring that the parents fulfil their roles as guardians of the children. In situations where the parents are found to be unable to fulfil their duties in ensuring the best interests of the child, the government should rightfully remove the child from the parents’ care.

Yeah, I know this is merely wishful thinking. Clearly, Putrajaya is fond of having its hands tied instead of championing the right battles.

No wonder Wan Azizah prefers to request for the people to understand the predicament of the parents who consent child marriage instead of trying to solve the crisis.

Then again, perhaps there is never any intention of solving it in the first place.

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FA ABDUL is a passionate storyteller, a growing media trainer, an aspiring playwright, a regular director, a struggling producer, a self-acclaimed photographer, an expert Facebooker, a lazy blogger, a part-time queen and a full-time vainpot. - Mkini