TUESDAY JOKES - 269

 

In the mood for Kaamatan(Harvest) Festival at Sabah, Malaysia recently..

"The Air India plane crash.

To some, just another breaking news story.

To me, it was a soul-stirring reminder of how fragile and unpredictable life really is.

Four lives. Four stories. Four powerful lessons that changed how I see time, purpose, and the grace of each moment.

First: A family who had waited years to fulfill their dream of migrating to the UK.

Life kept getting in the way, responsibilities, delays, decisions.

They finally made it onto the plane… but never reached their destination

And I realized:

We carry so many plans for “someday.” But if we keep waiting, someday becomes never.

Second: A woman who was supposed to be on that flight. She arrived late. Missed the check-in. Pleaded to get on board but was denied. She was frustrated, angry, defeated. Only to later realize: that delay was divine protection.

We don’t always get what we want, because God sees what we cannot.

Sometimes, His “no” is what keeps us alive.

Third: A man who survived.

The plane split in half and he happened to be in the section that didn’t catch fire.

He walked away, dazed and alive, from something no one thought survivable.

It wasn’t luck. It was purpose. And I was reminded of the verse: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

It simply wasn’t his time.

Fourth: And then those who didn’t make it. People with dreams. People with families. People with unfinished stories.

They kissed someone goodbye that morning… not knowing it was the last time.

Their lives remind us that time is not guaranteed. We’re not promised old age. We’re not promised later. What we have is now. A breath. A heartbeat. A chance.

So while you still have today.. 

While you’re still breathing, still strong, still able, don’t waste it. Don’t wait for the “perfect” moment.

Love now. Apologize now. Forgive now. Dream now. Speak now.

Because life doesn’t always come with warnings. And sometimes… “next time” never comes."

What if Flight AI171 was never meant to reach London?

What if someone knew it wouldn’t?

Every safeguard failed. Every second matters.

And silence... is the biggest clue of all.

Something felt off.

But I kept quiet.

Until now.

I’ve been watching.

Not the news.

Not the social media.

But the footage.

That one video...

of Flight AI171 —

lifting off... and crashing.

Shot not from a runway cam.

Not from ATC logs.

But by a civilian.

Standing on a terrace.

Filming that exact moment.

From the perfect angle.

Let me ask you:

What are the odds?

Ahmedabad sees hundreds of flights daily.

Thousands of passengers.

And one person…

randomly films this one plane...

at this exact second...

as it lifts, climbs — and crashes within 45 seconds.

And the video?

Perfect clarity. 

Perfect angle. 

Perfect timing.

I did the math:

(1/10,000) × (1/10) × (1/1,000,000) = 1 in 100 billion

Almost impossible

Unless it wasn’t luck.

Then I studied the aircraft

A Boeing 787 Dreamliner

One of the safest ever built.

Can fly across oceans on a single engine.

So what happened?

Here’s the second-by-second breakdown:

00:00 – Takeoff. Smooth.

00:10 – Climbing. Nose up.

00:20 – Flaps don’t retract.

00:25 – Landing gear still down.

00:28 – RAT deployed — total power loss.

00:29 – Mayday sent. No reply.

00:35 – Aircraft tilts. Control lost.

00:45 – Crashed.

Probability Breakdown:

Triple fail-safes

Dual engines

Cutting-edge electricals.

Engine failure in 30 seconds?

1 in 10 million

Full electrical collapse triggering RAT?

1 in 50 million

Combined chance?

Less than 1 in 100 billion

It took off clean.

It climbed well.

Then it died.

Planes don’t just die like that.

Not unless someone helped them die.

Ask yourself—

Was this a crash?

Or was it a..........?

The flight had both engines running.

Clear skies.

No bird hit.

Elevation gained.

And still…

— Flaps froze

— Landing gear refused to retract

— RAT activated

— Power systems collapsed

This wasn’t a mechanical error.

This wasn’t a coincidence.

This was surgical.

Flaps + gear + RAT + blackout =

electronic system sabotage.

How?

— Tampered avionics

— Rogue firmware patch

— EM signal jamming

— Wiring sabotage

— Or… a compromised crew?

Now listen closely:

Çelebi Ground Services, a Turkish firm,

handled ground ops in Ahmedabad till May 15.

Full access.

Including to the aircraft’s electronic bay — its brain.

Now trace the flight:

11th Night: Landed from Paris to Delhi

12th Morning: Flew to Ahmedabad

Cabin issues reported — AC dead, screens blank, buzzing hum

Still cleared for London?

Why?

Who cleared that?

People will scoff.

"Conspiracy theory"?

But every conspiracy

was once an ignored pattern.

I’m not an aviation expert

I’m a citizen

A patriot.

And I’m telling you,

This was not random.

This was not routine.

This feels like a strike

An invisible one.

Is India under attack?

Not by bombs

But by fingerprints no one sees.

This isn’t a post

This is a warning.

We either question now,

Or regret later.

What did a bald man exclaim when he received a comb as his birthday present?

Thanks – I will never part with it?

 

What did one hat say to the other?

You wait here, I will go ahead!

 

The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish. The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a beautiful tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted. The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too, was granted. Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch today!”

 

Jerry was at a marriage seminar, and the leader of the seminar, a lady, was asking everybody how long they were married for. When it was Jerry’s turn Jerry said that he was married for almost 50 years. “Wow” the leader gushed “that’s amazing, perhaps you can take a few minutes to share some insights with everybody, how you stay married to the same woman for so long. “Well,” Jerry said after thinking for a few moments, “I try to treat her nice, buy her presents, take her on trips…………. and best of all, for our 25th anniversary I took her to the Bahamas.” “Well that’s really beautiful, and a true inspiration for all of us” the lady said “maybe you can tell us what you are going to do for your 50th anniversary” she said with a smile “Well” Jerry said “I’m thinking of going back to the Bahamas to pick her up.

 

Women call me ugly until they found out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

 

I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand, I am okay.

 

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they are gonna pay.

You have my Word.

 

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

 

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come anyway.

 

A man died and went to The Judgment, they told him , “Before you meet with God,  I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?” The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the  ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me!” “Wow that’s impressive, “When did this happen?” “About three minutes ago,” came the reply.

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