SATURDAY JOKES - 66

 

So once there was a Chinese man, a Mexican, and an American all in the same plane.
Now the Chinese man takes a pair of chopsticks and throws them out of the window.
Then he claims "We have too many of those in my country!".
Then the Mexican grabs his salsa, throws it out the window and says "We have too many of these in my country!".
Then the American picks up the Mexican and throws him out of the window and claims "We have to many of them in my beloved country!".

A guy walks into a bar, and another guy says, “I slept with my wife before we were married. Did you?”
The other guy says, “I don’t know. What was her maiden name?”

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a 50 ringgit note and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys looked at each other then gave the 50 ringgit note to the teacher.

My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

There are two kinds of people on earth. Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next-door neighbour's dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard - now we'll see how they like it!"

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

It was many years ago, since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered the butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?
Finally, he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home, he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on HIS face!"

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