I'll Vote For BN

Gotcha!!! Sorry I lied, but I know that statement will burn your ass and you’ll sit up and read this because you want to know who that sweetheart is who said “I’ll vote for BN”. You see, I’ve been thinking about some heavy stuff lately and I need you to help me find some answers. Don’t mind? OK, and to REALLY make myself listen to your advice, I’ll need you to pretend like you’re my personal shrink and I’m here to sort out some very messy thoughts and then you can advise me just like some smart-ass shrink I see in the movies. Can you do that? Good. So, let’s start…



Me: Hi Shrink!

You: Hi ST how have you been keeping lately?

Me: Not so good. Recently, I’ve been thinking of migrating to Australia with the family.

You: Australia? Wow! Beautiful place. I love Perth. But why are you leaving?

Me: (Sigh) Don’t ask lah…everything seems to be going wrong here!

You: Like?

Me: Haven’t you been reading what’s on the Internet lately?

You: Oh, you mean the gossip about Paris Hilton is it?

Me: No, it’s about the coming general election! It’s so confusing. Tell me, which party should I vote for?

You: That’s for you to decide, not me ST.

Me: Why not? You’re my shrink…I pay you to give me answers about things that are bugging me.

You: I answered you already ST. That’s for you to decide; and that’s my answer.

Me: I have to give it to you…you’re good…answering a question without really answering it…

You: Well, I learnt it from the politicians. I observe how they lie, I mean talk…

Me: Really? Like how?

You: Well, you know, they’ll say one thing and mean another thing most of the time.

Me: Not me, I’m a man of my word. Otherwise, I won’t have married my wife! (giggles)

You: Not only that, today they’ll say one thing, tomorrow, they’ll say something else.

Me: Ya lah…we cannot trust politicians; uh-uh…they think we’re fools or what!!

You: Well, as a matter of fact we are. Malaysians are fools and our politicians know that.

Me: Huh? You mean I’ve been paying 300 bucks an hour sitting here talking to a fool? Hello?

You: See? You are already a bigger fool for paying me…LOL! But seriously, Malaysians are fools.

Me: Now, please explain to me why you say Malaysians are fools. I don’t get it…

You: Let me put it this way…do you think the Americans, Europeans, and Japanese are smart people?

Me: Well…their economies are stronger than ours, their currencies stronger…OK, I’ll buy that.

You: And not only that…they invent so many things that we use today, so they must be smart…

Me: Hmm…come to think of it, if these people never existed, my house would be very empty…

You: So, tell me, why do they always change their government every now and then?

Me: Maybe that’s because their previous government didn’t do a good job…

You: Aha!!! So they change their government because they think that they have done a bad job right?

Me: Of course. If my staff did a bad job I’ll sack him. No question about it.

You: So, do you think BN has done a good job, a lousy job or deserved to be sacked?

Me: BN!! I won’t even let them clean my toilet!! !@#$@#%&!@#!!!

You: Then WTF! How come they’re still running the country after more than 50 years!!?

Me: Well...maybe Malaysians are afraid of change…

You: Afraid of change!!? Hello? Just look at the number of divorces in Malaysia!!!

Me: So how come they’re still running the country when they’ve done such a bad job?

You: Read my lips…Europeans are smart. Malaysians are fools!! THAT’S WHY!!

Me: You’re right man, must change the government just like the Europeans. They fark up we throw them out. It’s time to kick some ass…bloody hell, screw me until I want to leave my country! Shit!

You: Feeling better now?

Me: I feel great! You are good huh…I feel excited already…can’t wait for the general election!

You: So still thinking of migrating?

Me: Me? What for? BN should be migrating, not me!!! They should migrate to Timbuktu!!

You: OK, ST…your session’s over. How shall I bill you?

Me: Bill it to my wife…she asked me to come and learn to behave like a good boy…

You: She’s smart. Women always pretend to be stupid, but they’re actually smarter than men.

Written by StraightTalking

StraightTalking is simply a regular reader/commenter who sees things as it is beneath all the noise and chatter and says it straight without any pretensions.

courtesy of masterwordsmith