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10 APRIL 2024

Thursday, October 20, 2011

UiTM going for Nobel Prize

Yesterday I posted a depressing (for us Malaysians) Supremacists nowhere in top 400, where I lamented the most embarrassing fact that no Malaysian university had been ranked among the world’s top 400 universities, considering our UM was once one of the most lustrous pearls in Asian academic circle.

By contrast, that puny perspicacious pimple on China’s bottom, Hong Kong, has 2 among the Top 100 and a further 2 in the next 100 Best.

Hong Kong 4 – Malaysia 0.

Malu lah!

But wait wait – Oh Holy Kerbau, today I read the best news ever, c'est vraiment magnifique,ho liao loh, bloody bagus one, absolutelyBoleh!

Bernama reports (and picked up by
The Star) that:

Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM) is aiming to produce the first Malay to win the Nobel Prize, through guidance and advice from renowned Pakistani scientist Prof Dr Atta-ur-Rahman.

Vice-chancellor Datuk Prof Dr Sahol Hamid Abu Bakar said with Dr Atta-ur-Rahman's expertise, the university would be able to achieve the target through scientific research and development.


Obviously it’s heartening news by Bernama, though I cannot help but wonder whether it has been prompted by my lamentations in yesterday’s post? Wakakaka.

But nonetheless, well aspired, Datuk Prof Dr Sahol Hamid Abu Bakar. Your vision certainly justifies your appointment as UiTM’s VC in 2010. Unlike your UM colleague, Prof Ghauth Jasmon who only aims to have UM within the top 100 universities in the world by 2015 and reaching the top 50 by the year 2020, you have boldly go where no Malaysian has gone before, by declaring a quark-ish quartile quantum leap into excellence and world fame for UiTM.

F* those university rankings. Now that’s real thinking out of the box. It’s worthy of Edward de Bono.

That’s the sort of Boleh attitude former PM Dr Mahathir spent billions and billions of ringgit on, as well as set up the Biro TataNegara(BTN), to nurture, nourish and (sometimes or most times) nurse his most favourite people.

You would have undoubtedly made him proud today with your no-nonsense, no bloody f* around with mere sap sap suoi (trifling) bull like getting into the World’s Top 400 Ranked Universities, as your more conservative colleague at UM is doing – yea man, you sure go straight for the jugular of the ultimate excellence.

An analogy to your amazing aerodonetical aspiration for UiTM would be akin to abandoning the silly study of possible FTL (faster than light speed) technology and instead, jumping into (excuse the science fiction pun) the study of spacetime travel through Schwarzschild wormholes, yup man, to travel beyond ‘Known Space’, perhaps to the Andromeda Galaxy, a staggering 2.5 million light years away, but with worm-hole spacetime travelling technology, a mere teh-tarik (or roti canai) hyperspace jump away, as Malaysia's first cosmonaut would describe it.

But in the meantime, I wonder if we can persuade UiTM to do anything to help our brilliant FTL-thinking UMNO bloggers like papagomo and Dr Novandri Hasan Basri, the UMNO Gelugor Division Chief, who were caught in a collapsing Schwarzschild wormhole of their own making wakakaka.

Hmmm, I wonder which Malaysian university Dr Novandri Hasan Basri graduated from? UiTM?

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