'Whispered' shadow cabinet bloated like satiated leech?

One of BN’s problems has been the appointment of ministers, not so much in key ministries but in ensuring at least a ministerial position for each and every component party in the alliance (I borrowed the word ‘alliance’ from BN’s predecessor Perikatan to distinguish it from the (Pakatan ‘coalition).

This is the principal reason why the Malaysian government cabinet has been embarrassingly over bloated.

And as part of the PM’s ang pow-ish largesse, even deputy ministers are created, so as to convince those appointed to these positions that they are ministers but disguising the reality they are just parliamentary permanent secretaries and not part of the cabinet proper. Mostly, they are over glorified assistants to the real ministers and, I suspect wakakaka, spent most of their time idling in lounge rooms outside their respective bosses’ office, eating publicly funded kueh muehs, coffee and tea, and sometimes even heavy lunches of typical but expensively catered Malaysian fare.

When I read Selana Tay’s article Pakatan’s ‘shadow cabinet’ list in Free Malaysian Today, I thought it (the Pakatan shadow cabinet) was a Kafkaesque joke, with the potential for Pakatan to outdo BN in the numbers department. 15 ministries including shared deputy prime minister-ships were listed, with each having at least 3 if not more names, making a total of no less than 45 and probably exceeding 60. WTF!

Sweetie Selena admitted that her list has been compiled from a combination of:

(a) discussions with a Pakatan MP who wished to remain anonymous but who was probably from PKR, and as usual, by suggesting some key nominees in the secret list, was pre-empting their supposed allies from choice ministries wakakaka, 

(b) observations from the performances and statements of Pakatan MPS and most strangely, ADUNs during their debates in the Parliament or State Legislative Assemblies. And how the f* would an ADUN be making federal level type policies?, and

(c) personal conversations with the shadow ministers, their friends or their acquaintances, where in the first place the former (shadow ministers, other than the PM-designate) don’t exist and the opinions of the last two would be more hopeful and interested-centred rather than credible or reliable.

No, I won’t hold much store by the list that Sweetie has written, perhaps more to mitigate against the BN sting that Pakatan is still incapable of coming up with a shadow cabinet than it be a genuine secret Pakatan plan.

That’s right, it’s not official at all, though we know a particular PKR leader (not Anwar) wakakaka has a habit of announcing policies unilaterally on behalf of Pakatan (minus any consultation with PAS or DAP) where one can see those unilateral policies had been his wet dreams, where no doubt this one (list of shadow cabinet nominees) would be one too.

Anyway, continuing with Sweetie’s article - for a start, according to Article 43 of the Malaysian Constitution, ADUNs who are also MP cannot have it both ways, that is, by continuing to be ADUNs (and even MBs or CMs or State Exco members) while becoming federal ministers or deputy ministers. They have to choose between being a federal minister (or deputy minister) or an ADUN.

Thus, if Lim Guan Eng wants to continue being CM of Penang, and most Penangites want him to thus I am confident he will be re-elected in the next state election to be again, then he can’t be appointed as a federal minister (assuming Pakatan takes Putrajaya).

He can of course be CM of Penang as well as an ordinary federal MP in which case he can and will serve in both State and Federal Parliaments, but not as a federal minister. On the other hand, if he wants to be a federal minister, then he can kiss goodbye to his CM job and Ayer Putih ADUN position.

Likewise with potential MBs like Nizar Jamaluddin (of Perak), Pak Haji Nik Aziz (of Kelantan), Salahuddin Ayub (of Johor and wakakaka to Chua Jui Meng) and …

…. assuming he is not back/front/side-stabbed wakakaka, Khalid Ibrahim (of Selangor) who like Lim GE has to decide whether he wants to be a federal minister or MB of a state – maybe PKR has already planned for one of the inner coterie like the world-renowned Apcet II destroyer Saifuddin Nasution wakakaka to be MB of that important State ...

… and f* that Azizan Abdul Razak of Kedah who I doubt will be MB of Kedah again after the next rice-state election.

I also wonder why Sweetie has Pak Haji Hadi Awang as one of the DPMs? Didn’t Pak Haji say he was retiring? Shouldn't it be updated to Mat Sabu?

As I wrote at the very beginning, if indeed Sweetie’s list comes true, hypothetically of course (as it’s more of someone’s wet dream wakakaka), then Pakatan will have fallen into the same trap as BN which ‘rewards’ the alliance’s good boys with all sorts of ministerial positions hence its multitude of ministries, with the potential for a Pakatan government to have a staggering 50 to 60 ministers and deputy ministers.

This will be bloody f* gross, a manmanlai-ish betrayal of promises to the rakyat, and totally  unacceptable. It will be a ridiculous situation based on nothing more than Pakatan’s inability to truly ‘share’ out the ministries with reasonable faith and trust in its coalition partners and their competencies.

Additionally, I need to point out some equally ridiculous proposals, such as:

(a) Nizar Jamaluddin (PAS, Bukit Gantang MP) as one of the trio to the Finance Ministry, Since when has Nizar shown his financial-economic credentials at federal level?

This would be one of those undesired BN-style approach to appeasing each of the 3 coalition partners where the Finance ministry will be shared out among Tony Pua (DAP), Rafizi Ramli (PKR) and our dear Nizar Jamaluddin who would be better placed as the MB of a key state like Perak or, if he wants to be a federal minister, in some important ministry which can exploit his engineering background like, say, the Transport or Work Ministry.

(b) the Education Ministry was once one of UMNO’s key ministries because in earlier days, the Education Minister would enjoy powerful connections with the Malay grass roots through the village and town Malay teachers in each and every state (at least in peninsula Malaysia) and thus influence with the UMNO Divisional leaders. It was a ministerial position which was absolutely vital to every UMNO aspirant for the PM’s position, where we saw Education Ministers like Dr Mahathir, Musa Hitam, Anwar Ibrahim, Hishamuddin, etc, not that many of them succeeded in becoming PM wakakaka.

But in our new brave but bloody avaricious world, where everyone wants to be muchorich el pronto, f* the Education Ministry and grass roots, and bring on the Finance one or any ministries which are likely to control and manage large projects and contracts like PKFZ, submarines, fighter or transport aeroplanes and BNM gambling and the potential for secret high financial 'ops', wakakaka.

So I wasn’t in the least surprised to read in Sweetie Selena’s article that the proposed people for the once-powerful but now perceived-as-ordinary and not-so-lucrative Education Ministry will, under a Pakatan government, be headed (not ‘helmed’ please wakakaka) by Dzulkefly Ahmad (PAS) or S Kulasegaran (DAP) or Chong Eng (DAP).

What? No PKR nominee? And two DAP members? Wakakaka, it’s so f* obvious that it stands out like the proverbial dog’s ballscow head - 'thunderous applause' please, wakakaka.

Of course by contrast, guess who will be in charge of the very powerful but dangerous deadly and draconian Minister of Home Affairs? Wakakaka

Mind you, notwithstanding the dirty manipulative Machiavellian manoeuvrings I believe the Education Ministry will have to be deemed as a very important ministry, not so much for the UMNO-style personal political interests of the minister, but for the major overhaul of an utter mess of our pitiful education system so as to ensure our Youths may have a decent and useful education that can contribute to our nation's intellectual, financial-economic, business-commercial, technological, environment and social future.

I personally believe there is not one current Pakatan MP who has the educational know-how to deal with insightful policy developments to mitigate against the mountain heap of sickening selfish shit accumulated by UMNO’s political football-ing for the last 40 years.

I would like to see a Pakatan government coopt Malaysians (or even former Malaysians) who are renowned international educational experts, and perhaps even for such a non-political expert to be appointed as the future Education Minister via the senatorial backdoor, at least for a term to start the excavation of the scatological mountain that is the Malaysian educational system today.

Next, look at the proposed Foreign Minister(s) - Kamarudin Jaffar (PAS) (by the way, who is he?), Lim Guan Eng (DAP) who isn’t exactly renowned as a foreign affairs expert or has shown any inclination towards that portfolio, and Elizabeth Wong (PKR).

I opine that apart from the Great One himself wakakaka the only other bloke who may serve as a credible Foreign Minister is Lim Kit Siang, thus the father rather than the son should have been nominated. Pakatan can still appoint him as one of the DPMs if the coalition so believes he is worthy, though I reckon the DPM position is far too overrated and an UMNO thing, and really not needed for Pakatan. Get rid of it and with that, remove a potential bone of contention between PAS and PKR/DAP.

Now, my dearest Eli whom I adore very much would be better placed in the Environment Ministry as she has shown her admirable management of green issues in Selangor. I assume her nomination indicates her move towards federal politics, but alas, the lack of substantiated details in that ‘whispered’ list doesn’t tell us much.

Basically, I put that ‘whispered’ list as nothing more than the wet dream of a PKR person where he consigns (relegates rather than assigns) some undesired ‘allies’ like Lim GE to lesser ministries while he grabs for himself a powerful one.

If Karpal Singh is not, as I suspect, in his final political innings because of his age, I would see him as the most suitable candidate for the Home Ministry. Karpal is a man well versed with the law and of impeccable standing, and thus is unlikely to misuse the frontline apparatus of that ministry (police, SB) and the draconian ISA to abuse the rights of his opponents including those within Pakatan. But whoever, for such an important ministry we must require a man of impeccable legal standing and personal integrity, I repeat, a man of impeccable legal standing and personal integrity.

To cut short my ravings and ranting wakakaka, I believe the Pakatan shadow cabinet and if it turns out to be the de jure cabinet post GE-13 (and please, no more of the ‘de facto’ bullshit because ‘de facto’ implies the appointment is undemocratic and  dictatorial) should be seriously and severely pared down.

Also, to eliminate the embarrassment of a Pakatan government having too many ministers, not least by public perception, let’s get rid of those non-cabinet-member deputy ministers and restore what they used to be, namely, parliamentary permanent secretaries, and f* the personal aggrandizements of Pakatan leaders.

On this fundamental principle of having a ‘lean and mean’ cabinet, it behoves the Pakatan component parties to learn to have greater faith and trust in each other, in other words, let’s have none of those bullshitting 3 people (PKR, PAS and DAP or even PSM) in each ministry. Only one person may be appointed as a minister.

Pakatan shall of course share out the ministries equitably (which may militate against some still with UMNO ways, wakakaka). Also, the coalition needn’t have ministries in the way UMNO currently has them, where some (two or even three?) can be amalgamated into one.

The major ministries including the PM’s position shall be shared out, for example (only an example) as follows:

(a) PM - Anwar Ibrahim PKR – special to holder only, before ‘someone’ gets ideas wakakaka.

(b) Finance – PAS or DAP

(c) Home – DAP or PAS, depending on (b) above

(d) Foreign Affairs, Defence, International Trade, Education & Youth (as one ministry), Transports, Agriculture, Science & Technology & Environment (as one ministry), etc etc …

… where the sharing out shall be one to PKR, next to PAS and then DAP (or in any other sequential order). The ministers may be assisted by a parliamentary permanent secretary.

Some distinguished and respectable MPs who possess the correct skills could be appointed sideways as ambassadors and high commissioners to only important nations like UN, Indonesia, Russia, USA, Japan, India, China, Europe, leaving the professional civil servants to others.

Having 3 people, one from each Pakatan component party, in a ministry is not only exactly like BN but worse, a sad reflection of distrust and lack of faith in the coalition partners. And if that is the sad case, then let's not have a coalition. Additionally, it will lead to a Pakatan cabinet far more bloated (like a satiated leech) than the BN’s.

Then, the perceived consigning of more than one member from a component ally to a less powerful ministry (as indicated in that 'whispered' list) shows one’s dislike of that component party and a bloody nasty Machiavellian manipulative manoeuvring, not unlike the EC’s dirty strategy of sardine-zing Pakatan supporters into one humongous giant federal constituency of 120,000 like Kapar in disgraceful contrast to the only 6,000 strong pro UMNO federal constituency of Putrajaya

Let’s have none of those UMNO tactics please.


And finally but not least, Pakatan must publicly announce the shadow cabinet.