Malaysians must know the truth

Why BN must win the next election – if there is a next election.

It is time to tell Malaysians the truth. It cannot be put off any longer. The number of incidents that has shaken this nation in the last four years point to a serious trend that cannot be tolerated. Barisan Nasional must be retained in the next election, if there is a next election.

It is for the good of the country. The core values of this nation have been compromised, and if Pakatan Rakyat were to govern this nation, it would deteriorate to a point of no return.

Never mind the runaway corruption or the RM1.3 trillion that has allegedly left the country. It’s not like hundreds of trillions of ringgit has disappeared. It is only a mere RM1.3 trillion. Why make such a fuss about it? Or of the national debt of RM420 billion, which is a tiny matter blown out of proportion by the opposition? The government already owes EPF RM400 billion. It could just borrow another RM420 billion from EPF to ease the national debt and Malaysia would be debt-free forever.

With the proposal to amend the EPF Act to allow full withdrawal at the age of 60, the government has another five years’ grace to repay the EPF. Such a simple solution. How come Pakatan never thought of it?

All of the above allegations are a small matter in comparison with the “core values of this nation being compromised”. Racial unity is not a must in this country. We have been doing just fine, without racial unity all along. We simply cannot do away with race-based politics or race-based parties, as they are here to stay.

Ketuanan Melayu is still needed to protect the Malays; so Umno must be retained at all cost. The Chinese must vote for the MCA or risk losing their representation and their hard-earned wealth and everything else with it. Indians have no choice but to retain the MIC if they want to enjoy a brighter future.

Without these three political parties, everyone in this country will lose their rights, and we may become slaves in our own land to the PRPutras. If Pakatan comes to power, the country will go bankrupt by 2019.

It really doesn’t matter if the Chinese are branded as prostitutes and the Indians as beggars and the Malays continue to be Tuans. It has always been like that; so why change the status quo? The most important thing for Malaysia is peace at any cost, even if we lack prosperity. Those who do not agree with the ways things are, can take a walk! BN won’t stop you.

Take, for example, the corporatisation of Felda, which has vastly benefited the settlers. But do not be envious of Felda. Najib’s government has ensured that Felda settlers are enjoying the fruits after 50 years of toil. And yet the ungrateful among them continue to hold demonstrations, even after being promising RM15,000 each. Fortunately, they are a small minority.

The 5,000 people who took part in the recent orange and green demonstration were actually 99.5% opposition supporters and not Felda folk themselves, who are still busy tilling the land.

Christian invasion

After the 12th general election, Perkasa discovered that there was a threat by the Chinese to take over the country, probably with the help of Pakatan. After a lot of noise following Perkasa’s exposé, the perpetrators backed off and have been lying low ever since.

Then came the threat of an invasion by Christians working in cahoots with DAP, which wanted to install a Christian prime minister. They quickly backed off after Perkasa leader Ibrahim Ali threatened to lead a mighty jihad against them. Such chivalry!

Now we understand why Malay bibles were such a threat to the peninsular Muslims. There were also fears that these bibles may contain encrypted secret messages that pose a security threat or a magical ability to convert unsuspecting Muslims.

The LGBT threat is also a big headache for the government as it involves certain political leaders hell-bent to take over the government. Furthermore, the LGBT community does not reflect BN values, with Malaysia being an Islamic country. Although largely ignored in the past, the existence of this community became an issue when a prominent politician was accused of weird preferences.

Survey after survey by BN troopers in the last two years have shown that there is a major increase in the number of wide-eyed citizens totally brainwashed to vote for anything but the government. Somehow the word ABU, short for “Anything but Umno” sounds cool, like the “in-thing” and something to “chill out” with.

Even the supposedly “tainted” electoral roll may not be enough to save Barisan Nasional from the blood thirst of the opposition this time.

And to add salt to the injury, there is this very dirty NGO, calling itself Bersih 2.0 headed by an Indian lady who managed to round up a quarter of a million Malaysians to protest against the clean electoral roll.

Their ugly demonstrations, carried out while they are dressed in yellow (what a dirty colour), have led to millions of ringgit in losses for the poor petty traders, who had no choice but to protest with butt aerobics and free-for-all burger stalls.

Bersih’s antics have even provoked a threat by Saudi Arabia to lower our quota for the Haj. No wonder the Home Ministry banned Bersih 2.0 as illegal and a threat to national security.

BN has made heroic attempts to arrest the downward slide in its popularity by pinning the blame on Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim, who happens to be the mother of all culprits. However, the lack of concrete evidence and Anwar’s alibis have allowed this slippery man to escape the clutches of the authorities.

Two threats

A disappointed BN has no choice but to reveal two of the gravest threats facing our beloved country.

The threat of another May 13 has again been highlighted by our Deputy Prime Minister, prompting DAP’s Lim Kit Siang to pledge that Pakatan will help BN to prevent another repeat of the 1969 riots.

The second comes from Jemaah Islamiyah (JI) terrorists trying to infiltrate PAS and former communists who have infiltrated DAP.

The government cannot guarantee that another May 13 riots will not materialise, leading to a declaration of a state of emergency, if Pakatan comes to power.

Nor will it knowingly allow a general election to be held if there are communists and JI terrorists standing for election. The BN government has sworn to protect Malaysian citizens at all cost, even if it means that blood will be shed and bones broken.

Najib did not mince his words when he said that the government was against LGBT, liberalism and pluralism as they are enemies of Islam. Liberalism is really not good for this country, as it would enable me to write satire instead of a straight article, while pluralism would encourage Malaysians to embrace each other in unity. That would lead to liberalism, which in turn would lead to free sex and other uncommon practices like sodomy.

Najib has even called for the help of imams in the country, appealing passionately to them to defend the government against these deadly threats that would spell doom to Ketuanan Melayu and the BN way of life.

Malaysians in their impatient impulse to demand for change – even if change may not be always good for BN – should seriously re-evaluate their hardline stand.

If they are not willing to welcome a BN government in the near future, they should not bother to even vote. Why not use the opportunity to go fishing, go for the Haj, or go for an overseas holiday instead of loitering around the voting booth making a fool of themselves?

Now, with such deadly threats to our core values, and with weird politicians still on the loose, it would be disastrous to try to hold an election, which may result in victory for Pakatan and thereby spell the end of the world for Malaysia.

Even though BN may win the election with a two-thirds victory, it cannot help but delay the election until all these national security threats are thoroughly investigated and put down.

So, should there be a general election in the near future, BN is imploring all Malaysians to leave political differences aside and unite for the sake of a peaceful Malaysia.

Remember, if BN wins, Ketuanan Melayu would be maintained, the Chinese would have undivided protection from the MCA under the wise leadership of the father-and-son team of Dr Chua Soi Lek and Chua Tee Yong, while the Indians would have a very prosperous future under a rejuvenated and experienced MIC. What more can one ask for?

Hidup Najib! Hidup BN!

The writer, who is a tour guide, trained pilot and naturalist, hopes readers will see through the satire in this article.