It irks me when people accuse BN-concocted development of encroaching upon "pristine" environment, while superheroes and alien invasions only occur in good old US of A.
A tad unfair I say, the Americans already own most of our planet's wealth anyhow.
I do posit there is nothing "pristine" about our environment, its resources rapidly and repeatedly reaped by the BN-led government for the last five decades.
I would advise the pesky rakyat to stop complaining.
And I strongly believe we should have our own Superman, Spiderman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, too.
While our badly planned cities need levelling by alien weapons fire now and then, so we can rebuild better.
Though I vote the aliens attack the toll booths first, so we can run away in toll-free comfort.
Nero can burn down Rome, Napoleon tears down Paris, I'm sure the minister in charge of urban well-being wouldn't mind alien help to rebuild Lembah Pantai in his grinning image.
Anyhow, while at a Ban Cyanide Action Committee press conference at the Kuala Lumpur-Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall, everything finally clicked into place in my head.
I now know what our benevolent BN-led government is actually working to create, with their seemingly inconsiderate and haphazard implementation of allegedly hazardous industries.
Developments like the heavy metals-laden processing plant in Kuantan and cyanide gas breathing gold mine in the same lucky state.
BN and Prime Minister Mohd Najib Abdul Razak are dead set in creating Malaysian superheroes!
I almost broke out in tears when I realised how fortunate we are to have such a far sighted government.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our beloved BN leaders are actually executing a long range secret plan to create our very own backyard superheroes.
Soon condo-dwelling Kung Fu cows in KL and Teenage mutant Ikan Patins in the sewers underneath Kuantan will be helping police with their crime fighting NKRA.
Though our people may have developed an immunity to snatch thefts by then, after years of wise exposure to it in a government attempt to strengthen our anti-crime antibodies.
We may also see an army of poison-resistant cyanide babies in Raub, while waterless prawn-men may rear their heads in Selangor.
And with nuclear power plants slated for our future, who knows what else? Hmmm... and in the end, Gangnam dancing minister and aunty perhaps?
Woe begone, wake me up when she has done her Gangnam dance, only then.
All thanks to our beloved BN!
I am sure the Bukit Merah experiment was what put the idea in their head.
On behalf of Malaysia I would like to say "Thank you BN!".
We will certainly reward you in the next General Election.
But more than the future rewards that we shall reap from the benevolence of our BN masters, I think the real superheroes are already among us..
Right here and now, in the ordinary men and women, who fought on, years on end, time after time.
Who stood up, stand tall, and Gangnam-ed their way into history's horizons, more genuine than the glamourous Psy, and doing it for less then RM1.5 million ,too.
Ordinary rakyat who realise that the future of their children is in their hands and flew up,up and up into the sky, leaping over obstacled bounds and praying that they are faster than a speeding bullet, so that they can save the present from yesteryear's leaders, for the sake of tomorrow's children.
To them, to the real Malaysian superheroes, for myself and from the generations yet to come, I salute them all.
A tad unfair I say, the Americans already own most of our planet's wealth anyhow.
I do posit there is nothing "pristine" about our environment, its resources rapidly and repeatedly reaped by the BN-led government for the last five decades.
I would advise the pesky rakyat to stop complaining.
And I strongly believe we should have our own Superman, Spiderman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, too.
While our badly planned cities need levelling by alien weapons fire now and then, so we can rebuild better.Though I vote the aliens attack the toll booths first, so we can run away in toll-free comfort.
Nero can burn down Rome, Napoleon tears down Paris, I'm sure the minister in charge of urban well-being wouldn't mind alien help to rebuild Lembah Pantai in his grinning image.
Anyhow, while at a Ban Cyanide Action Committee press conference at the Kuala Lumpur-Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall, everything finally clicked into place in my head.
I now know what our benevolent BN-led government is actually working to create, with their seemingly inconsiderate and haphazard implementation of allegedly hazardous industries.
Developments like the heavy metals-laden processing plant in Kuantan and cyanide gas breathing gold mine in the same lucky state.BN and Prime Minister Mohd Najib Abdul Razak are dead set in creating Malaysian superheroes!
I almost broke out in tears when I realised how fortunate we are to have such a far sighted government.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our beloved BN leaders are actually executing a long range secret plan to create our very own backyard superheroes.
Soon condo-dwelling Kung Fu cows in KL and Teenage mutant Ikan Patins in the sewers underneath Kuantan will be helping police with their crime fighting NKRA.
Though our people may have developed an immunity to snatch thefts by then, after years of wise exposure to it in a government attempt to strengthen our anti-crime antibodies.
We may also see an army of poison-resistant cyanide babies in Raub, while waterless prawn-men may rear their heads in Selangor.
And with nuclear power plants slated for our future, who knows what else? Hmmm... and in the end, Gangnam dancing minister and aunty perhaps?Woe begone, wake me up when she has done her Gangnam dance, only then.
All thanks to our beloved BN!
I am sure the Bukit Merah experiment was what put the idea in their head.
On behalf of Malaysia I would like to say "Thank you BN!".
We will certainly reward you in the next General Election.
But more than the future rewards that we shall reap from the benevolence of our BN masters, I think the real superheroes are already among us..
Right here and now, in the ordinary men and women, who fought on, years on end, time after time.
Who stood up, stand tall, and Gangnam-ed their way into history's horizons, more genuine than the glamourous Psy, and doing it for less then RM1.5 million ,too.
Ordinary rakyat who realise that the future of their children is in their hands and flew up,up and up into the sky, leaping over obstacled bounds and praying that they are faster than a speeding bullet, so that they can save the present from yesteryear's leaders, for the sake of tomorrow's children.
To them, to the real Malaysian superheroes, for myself and from the generations yet to come, I salute them all.
HAZLAN ZAKARIA is a member of the Malaysiakini team.
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