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Sunday, April 14, 2013

Umnonomics or How to be Really Rich Really Quick in Malaysia.




1)Lets privatise profit making companies like Plus and Telekom
2)Lets takeover loss making companies like MAS and Proton
3)Lets have monopolies on essential goods like rice,sugar,water,flour.When those companies cry loss,let’s subsidize them
4)Let’s lessen taxes and levies on large corporations and lets increase taxes on citizens.To be extra sneaky lets make those taxes less noticeable…like sustainable energy tax,GST etc.Because the lower the disposable income,the more we can BR1M their votes.
5)Lets insert emotion into the economy.Whenever a crony asks for funds,lets give them a million bucks for a keropok lekor vending machine.But when good ideas come through MDEC,lets give them hell when they apply for 100k.Never mind its insulated competition versus currency inflow, if people ask,we’ll just make it racial then people will shut up.
6)Let’s have APs for everything from cattle to fruit to cars..you know to make even more money.When people ask lets just say its to protect the local market.This way we protect both our cronies who import stuff in,and our cronies who get huge grants to produce inferior products and sell them back to Malaysians.Everybody wins.
7)Lets put our greasy governmental fingers in everything from plantations to banks to cattle.When things screw up,we’ll just get our cronies to buy them up.To make things more interesting,lets own MULTIPLE companies of each sort.That way,we’ll compete with each other,government agencies doing the same function,our cronies and the two or three foreign companies who care enough to stand all the bullshit 1-7 to do business here.Probably coz the poor CEO married a local.When we merge them we can call it smart partnerships,synergies or something catchy.That way no one will question the job cuts.
8)When the people start to feel the pinch and start questioning questionable policies like why we buy back water from Singapore,why are essential items so expensive here compared to everywhere else,why cars are so damn overpriced or why do foreign maids have a minimum wage but not locals…..lets just do a demo at Komtar( to blame the Chinese),Masjid Negara (to blame the Jews) or Merchant Square(to blame Anwar).Or we can just release a sex video from the National Archives.
This elections,vote with your brain.Vote for your pocket.Vote Cresent,Vote for Moon.Vote for Rocket. 1)Lets privatise profit making companies like Plus and Telekom
2)Lets takeover loss making companies like MAS and Proton
3)Lets have monopolies on essential goods like rice,sugar,water,flour.When those companies cry loss,let’s subsidize them
4)Let’s lessen taxes and levies on large corporations and lets increase taxes on citizens.To be extra sneaky lets make those taxes less noticeable…like sustainable energy tax,GST etc.Because the lower the disposable income,the more we can BR1M their votes.
5)Lets insert emotion into the economy.Whenever a crony asks for funds,lets give them a million bucks for a keropok lekor vending machine.But when good ideas come through MDEC,lets give them hell when they apply for 100k.Never mind its insulated competition versus currency inflow, if people ask,we’ll just make it racial then people will shut up.
6)Let’s have APs for everything from cattle to fruit to cars..you know to make even more money.When people ask lets just say its to protect the local market.This way we protect both our cronies who import stuff in,and our cronies who get huge grants to produce inferior products and sell them back to Malaysians.Everybody wins.
7)Lets put our greasy governmental fingers in everything from plantations to banks to cattle.When things screw up,we’ll just get our cronies to buy them up.To make things more interesting,lets own MULTIPLE companies of each sort.That way,we’ll compete with each other,government agencies doing the same function,our cronies and the two or three foreign companies who care enough to stand all the bullshit 1-7 to do business here.Probably coz the poor CEO married a local.When we merge them we can call it smart partnerships,synergies or something catchy.That way no one will question the job cuts.
8)When the people start to feel the pinch and start questioning questionable policies like why we buy back water from Singapore,why are essential items so expensive here compared to everywhere else,why cars are so damn overpriced or why do foreign maids have a minimum wage but not locals…..lets just do a demo at Komtar( to blame the Chinese),Masjid Negara (to blame the Jews) or Merchant Square(to blame Anwar).Or we can just release a sex video from the National Archives.
This elections,vote with your brain.Vote for your pocket.Vote Cresent,Vote for Moon.Vote for Rocket. VOTE OUT BN/UMNO!!!!
-emmanuelj

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