Migrant husband burns wife for wearing short-sleeved blouse

KUALA LUMPUR: When Lila (not her real name) came to Malaysia in 2009 from Bangladesh, she had hoped for a better life for her and her children.

“My husband had passed away during a boat accident when he went fishing. And not long after that, my father also died,” the mother of two said.

However, her dreams were shattered when she married a fellow countryman who turned out be abusive and a womaniser.

“My brother had introduced me to this man when I came to Malaysia, hoping that he would take care of me as my brother did not want me to have a hard life.

“I obeyed my brother because his intentions were good,” Lila said, adding that she agreed to marry the man despite rumours about him from other family members.

Burnt with cigarette butts

Lila’s marriage to her 42-year-old husband saw her living separately from her daughter, who was from her first husband.

“She comes to stay with me on Friday until Sunday and on weekdays she lives with my brother,” she said, adding that her husband broke the promise he made to take care of her daughter.

She also said she was beaten for “not doing her job” as a housewife.

“When he comes back from a long day at work, I am expected to prepare a towel, cold drinks and have the hot food ready on the table. If I do not do that, he will beat me,” she said, trying to hold back tears.

On one occasion, Lila said her husband, who worked in a restaurant, used a cigarette butt to burn her arm because he was not happy with the way she dressed.

“I was wearing a short-sleeved blouse at the time and he told me I was showing too much skin to other people,” she said, showing a round scar on her left arm.

Lila said she also did not know that her husband had a second wife.

“I know he has some girlfriends. He does not come back home for two days in a row at times.

“Suddenly, one day, he told his parents in our home that he had married again. I did not know,” she stopped, overcome by tears.

“I have been taking care of his family well and been a good wife to him. Why did he treat me like that?”

Courage to leave

Lila said her brother had given her the courage to move out from her husband’s house and to seek refuge at a shelter home here.

She said her brother had cried when he found out about the abuse from another friend.

“He blamed himself for introducing my husband to me and for putting me through so much pain.

“His told me: ‘You don’t go back to this kind of husband’.”

Lila said her brother promised to protect her.

Education rights for women

Lila was speaking to reporters on the sidelines of a Tenaganita event on fighting gender-based violence.

Tenaganita’s executive director Glorene Das said that violence at homes of migrant women seemed to be “internalised” in their culture.

“The migrants are traditionally patriarchal and it seems they bring their culture here from their respective home countries.

“This is what we are trying to break by empowering women about their rights,” she said at the close of the campaign.

The human rights activist said women, regardless of who they are, should be given the right to education.

“It should not be confined to the religious schools, provided to communities like the Rohingya.

“We are saying they should have access to education, from kindergarten right up to secondary school,” she said, adding that Malaysia was a signatory to the UN Child Rights Convention and should also provide basic rights to children.

Glorene said religious school education should not be justified as being sufficient for girls.

“If one does not have proper education, how can she get a job to support her family?”

She urged society to reject “social norms” that encouraged gender-based violence.

“Take interest in the issue and look for a solution.” -FMT