An open letter to Indira Gandhi (and Malaysians)

Dear Mother, (for that seems the appropriate term to address you)
I hope this letter brings you a measure of peace and hope. At the same time, I hope some Malaysians may see this issue in a new light.

It can be difficult to make the decision to express what one feels about a situation like yours that is fraught by so much pain, yet sometimes it is in these exact situations that an opportunity is found to rise to new dimensions.
Please bear with me while I digress a little so that I can give some context to what I am about to say.

The only other time that I was stirred to write in public was to the now-defunct The Malaysian Insider regarding the usage of the word 'Allah' just prior to the Federal Court decision, when it seemed that things might get out of hand. My reasoning then was simple. The word for God in Malay is 'Tuhan'. The word 'Allah' is generally accepted as being derived from the Arabic tongue, whereby Arab Christians and Jews in those lands had been using 'Allah' as a primary word for God even prior to the emergence of Islam. Thus, it has never really been an issue if Arab-speaking Christians in that region use the word “Allah' for God.

Why is it that Christians in Malaysia, who are learning the scriptures in Malay, should doggedly cling to the word 'Allah' when they could, without any real loss, substitute it with the word “Tuhan'? The Malay Muslim confers extraordinary import on the use of the word 'Allah' as they have been taught the religion primarily through the scriptures in the Arabic language. To them, the word 'Allah' is inseparable from their faith, probably even more than the Middle Easterners themselves.

For better or worse, this is the reality of the situation here, and while we can argue that the word 'Allah' is universal and none should be barred from using it, we need to ask ourselves whether it is worth upsetting a great many people, just for winning the right to use it. Why not look at the greater good?

The greater good is what prompted me to write to you, dear Mother. You have fought the good fight for 10 years, you have gone through so much - the rest of us can only imagine it. And you have won now, at least on one level. Yet it is uncertain whether you will be reunited with your daughter, Prasana. The bad actors speak of mayhem if she is taken from her father. Magnanimously, you have agreed that she remains a Muslim, just as long as she can be with you, her mother.

A story about King Solomon comes to mind. Two ladies come before the king with a baby, each one claiming that the child is hers. After deliberating, Solomon issues a terrible order to one of his guards, “Chop this baby in two and give one half to each of them!” As the guard raises his sword, one lady stands impassively watching, while the other throws herself upon the baby, begging and pleading that the baby is given to the other woman. Wise old Solomon halts proceedings and orders the baby to be handed to the distraught mother, as indeed she was.

While that story has a happy ending, dear Mother Indira, it appears it is not so in your case – not just yet. There would be those who counsel you to fight to the bitter end. However, could it be that this is the time to have a cooling-off period, just let the divine hand do its will in the meantime?

This may seem like a cop-out to many, but the win-at-any-cost attitude has taken more lives and caused greater suffering than can be imagined. There are times when it is a better option to stop pushing for a spell, at least not so openly and stridently.

The following analogy may help put things in better perspective. Many mothers would be willing to send their children to battle, some even proudly – to kill other children of other mothers, who belong to another country. They are often willing to make this supreme sacrifice all for the sake of some perverted megalomaniac characters who whip the population into a state of frenzy.

Robert S McNamara, the US Secretary of Defense, who was gung-ho about the Vietnam War, very belatedly admits in his memoir that the United States "could and should have withdrawn from South Vietnam" in late 1963 (when American casualties numbered 78) instead of in 1975 when more than 58,000 Americans (average age, 19) had been killed.

Another chilling, and infuriating, incident, was when US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright calmly states that the death of more than 500,000 Iraqi children due to the Iraqi invasion was 'worth it' in an interview on the show 60 Minutes in December 1996. And it's not just the American who are guilty of this, of course.

Another thought worth considering is that nothing is in black and white in human affairs, there are just shades of grey. We can be quick to judge, especially when popular opinion is favouring one side. Not for a moment am I condoning the actions of Prasana Diksha's father, but could it be that he may have done it out of the desperate love a father has for his daughter, even though many have already labelled him as a monster outright?

Holding vengeance, even by justifying it as righteous anger, never seems to have done anyone any good. Tempering our viewpoints with compassion may well help us from becoming like that politician who advocated letting loose rats and cockroaches upon our prisoners.

Your courageous and determined effort all these years, dear Mother, has drawn to the people's attention much that is not right with our society and existing conditions, and for that alone, your travails, including that of your family, have not been in vain. It may be prudent to let things settle at this juncture as there would be those with ill-intent seizing this opportunity to capitalize on this issue.

Love always trumps, and it is the higher love that sees the connectivity and grand design in all things. This greater vision is much needed in a time such as this. Even if your daughter is temporarily prevented from being with you, for now, many of us would believe that she will find her way back to you – water always finds its own level. And that will be a moment to savour. It has been said that the goal of life is not happiness but the raising of our consciousness.

The silent majority in Malaysia - and it is not just among the minority races - has endured much with great forbearance, wisdom and maturity. Even though there have been skirmishes, on the whole, we have kept sane minds. This should be seen as Malaysians' strength, rather than weakness; the thing to do now is channelling our energies to build bridges and stop hating – great good shall arise from this. Violence, be it emotional or physical, begets only more violence.

More people than you imagine hold you in our prayers, dear Mother. May we all stay strong and be blessed with equanimity.- Mkini