Notes to my son: He will understand soon, says Rafizi

The night before Rafizi Ramli was set to appear in court to receive the verdict for disclosing account data of the National Feedlot Corporation Sdn Bhd (NFC), he gave his sleeping son a goodbye kiss.

The PKR vice-president already had a feeling he would be found guilty and if the judge did not allow a stay for appeal, he would not see his son again before he was sent to jail.

But he had also been writing notes for his four-year-old son since 2013 to explain why he had to do the things he did and serve time in prison.

"I do write notes to him as I went along.

"They are notes that I accumulate over time, so if anything happens, he does have the notes when he can read, four or five years down the line.

"But not now (because) he can't understand," Rafizi told Malaysiakini in an interview.

From the experiences of his friends who served time under the Internal Security Act (ISA), he said he noticed that it was their children who were most affected.

"If the parents have not rationalised to the children that this has to happen, they might take it out on the parents.

"Because it is very easy for the public out there, the people they encounter when they start going to school to tell them that their parents are selfish, that your father did this for himself and as a result (the children) have to suffer.

"I started writing personal notes... so that he (my son) can actually understand that there were reasons and it's not because we didn't think of him," he said.

But for now, Rafizi said he mostly buys his son toys and play with him.

On Wednesday, Rafizi and former Public Bank clerk Johari Mohamad were each sentenced to 30 months' jail after they were convicted of leaking NFC's bank accounts data.

However, the judge allowed a stay pending appeal.

Rafizi is also facing an 18-month prison sentence for another conviction under the Official Secrets Act (OSA). There is also a stay on that sentence pending appeal.

'Does he understand?'

The Pandan MP had hoped and initially planned to serve any jail sentence before his son could remember what happened to his father.

"But now he does remember.

"I don't know whether, at four years and two months, he has an understanding (of what is happening).

"He does realise, if I'm not around for a while, for example if I'm away for two or three days, he does sort of sulk, but apart from that, I don't think he understands," he said.

Now that his son is turning five this year, if Rafizi were to serve his sentence in prison, he said he would miss the boy's schooling days.

"I think I would struggle with the initial weeks because of my son.

"It's not that my parents or my wife or my siblings are not important, it's just that they expect this.

"It's not a shock to them, they understand that I would be able to manage life in prison, whatever that means, quite well," he said.

His wife, an activist herself, has been prepared for his incarceration having married him after he left the corporate world, he said.

"My wife is cool about this. I think she is a lot stronger than myself.

"She knows exactly this is what we signed up for," he said.- Mkini