INSECURITY

 

A person with high levels of insecurity may often experience a lack of confidence regarding many aspects of life. It may be difficult for that person to form lasting relationships or attend to daily tasks, due to a self-perception of helplessness or inadequacy.

You Love To Please Others.

When you are not rooted in your own worth, you go out of the way to make others happy. A lack of inner love translates into a need for constant approval and appreciation by others.

Take note of the times you go against your own will and do something you do not want to do. Start to become aware of this behaviour. The first step to ending the people-pleasing game is to acknowledge that you are playing it. Once you acknowledge it, you can start to practice standing up for yourself and drawing boundaries where you need to.

You Have A Difficult Time To Say "NO".

Not only do you want others to be happy, but you also want to be agreeable. You show up to help, go out of your way to be there for someone and are enthusiastically present for the people you care about.

Practice saying “no” to small, inconsequential things. Practice saying no to requests from acquaintances and work colleagues. Work your way up to saying “no” to people you love and care about.

You Do Not Believe You Are Good Enough.

You are sensitive to criticism and your feelings are hurt quickly. Sometimes, you are not sure if you even deserve to have a good career or be paid what you are worth.

As cliché as it may sound, the only way to change your beliefs about yourself is to change the thoughts you allow yourself to have. Capturing your thoughts via a journal, sharing your thoughts with a professional, and being more mindful of your thinking are ways to change the pattern. Once you recognize these thoughts, you can substitute negative messages with more positive ones.

You Always Compare Yourself To Others

You immediately feel the urge to compare yourself to others. You will go out of your way to look for people who are smarter, kinder, better-looking, healthier, nicer, friendlier, etc.

Remove yourself from situations where you feel like you are comparing yourself to those around you. This may mean spending less time on the social media and by not following people who make you feel worse about yourself. Spend less time with people who intentionally or subconsciously make you feel small.

You Do Not Believe You Can Do Anything Right.

You focus on your mistakes, faults, and inadequacies. You imagine the worst-case scenario in every situation and expect that you will screw it up.

Reflect on all of your wins, both big and small. Think about all the times you got it right, solved the problem, and met the challenge at hand. Acknowledge that you have succeeded far more often than you have failed.

You Feel Ashamed Of Yourself.

You are embarrassed often and frequently want to hide or fade to the background of social situations.

Create an image in your mind of your most empowered, positive self. Ask yourself what it is going to take to get to that place. Take action to embrace your vulnerabilities, let go of your negative feelings, and affirm your worth. Employ all the tools available to you - from mindfulness and journaling to exercise and therapy - to help you embrace your self-worth.

You Do Not Believe People Like You.

Your default thought is that others do not care for you

Do not make these assumptions based on your skewed view of the world. If your default assumption is that people do not like you, explore it. Pursue those relationships. Look at the actions of others objectively and try to understand their intentions without bias. Spend more time with people who care for you and cut ties with people who do not.

You Treat Others Poorly.

Your negativity spills out to others and you treat them poorly, even though you feel bad about it later.

Treat yourself gently. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself. Read uplifting books and surround yourself with encouraging people. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you care about. Exercise, eat well and get enough sleep. Once you treat yourself with love, respect, and kindness, you will start treating others the same way.

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