Haaland the real deal amid the panic buys

 

Some said he wouldn’t fit in; others had quibbles about his first touch and ability in the air.

Now they’re wondering if he was created in a lab.

After scoring a hat-trick in 19 minutes at Crystal Palace, Erling Haaland took 26 to bag another against Forest.

That’s nine goals in five games and at this rate, the probability bots would have him at 68 for the season.

Alan Shearer’s prediction that he would score 40 is more realistic.

Mo Salah averaged 0.84 goals a game when he scored 32 in 2017-18. Haaland is currently at 1.8 per game.

Manchester City’s 6-0 thrashing of Forest in midweek confirmed the champions are once again the team to beat this season.

They have dropped two points, but shown their mettle by twice coming back from two-goal deficits.

When Haaland was subbed after 69 minutes, it felt like an act of mercy – except that his replacement was Kevin de Bruyne.

It’s not that his goals are things of beauty: neither glorious net-busters from 30m nor exquisite finishes to mazy dribbles.

Nope, it’s just the relentless regularity of them. And his robotic knack of being in the right place at the right time.

Makes you suspect there’s some game-reading AI implant under that blond ponytail.

And then there’s his ability to swat hulking humanoids off like flies.

At 1.9m, Forest’s Joe Worrall is no shrinking violet but the 1.94 brick-outhouse-sized Norwegian brushed him aside with disdain.

He’s such an imposing physical specimen that to some he’s a freak, an alien or even a replicant from Blade Runner.

It’s hard to think of a striker anywhere of any era who has been so fast, so strong and so lethal.

Still, back among the ordinary mortals, a fascinating battle for top four places is already under way.

Arsenal lead the way and are still 100% after five games.

But who knows how crucial Liverpool’s last-kick winner by Fabio Carvalho against Newcastle will be?

It kept Jurgen Klopp’s men just five points adrift of City instead of going seven behind.

The ecstatic celebrations told us how much it meant.

Coming after their 9-0 annihilation of Bournemouth, Liverpool have certainly made short work of their “crisis”.

But Klopp admitted to looking for another midfielder. Konrad Laimer, 25, of RB Leipzig was the target although the Austrian seems unlikely to arrive now.

And the need may not be so great the way Harvey Elliott is improving every game to become the midfield dynamo.

Along with the rejuvenation of Roberto Firmino, the Reds are looking stronger and Darwin Nunez will be available for Saturday’s Merseyside derby.

There are one or two late transfer window purchases that could have a big effect on some teams’ seasons.

At £70m, Wesley Fofana seems a tad overpriced but should stiffen Chelsea’s defence.

The Frenchman’s arrival ensures the Blues will be the summer’s biggest spenders, but having already lost twice, they probably still need a striker to push City.

None other than Neymar has been offered, according to the rumour mill, but the deal is too complicated to get over the line.

Typical of Chelsea’s recent luck, Barcelona loanee Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, who might have offered a short-term solution, has been injured in a robbery at his home.

Manchester United are splashing the cash to solve some glaring weaknesses and Antony, at £80m from Ajax, is another on whom the club appears to be paying an “EPL premium”.

But it’s a departure even more than an arrival that manager Erik ten Hag feels could give the biggest boost to their season.

Cristiano Ronaldo has gone from returning prodigal to elephant in the dressing room, but is running out of takers.

The ‘Big Six’ could be ‘Big Seven’ soon if Newcastle can get the results their spending demands.

They have also brought in an exciting young striker in Swedish star, Aleksander Isak, who showed his quality with a goal at Anfield.

He brings their spending to over £200m since the Saudi takeover.

Like Manchester United, they are mid-table but once the new men gel, they will surely be a force to reckon with.

But on paper City are still way ahead of the chasing pack.

And under the Haaland radar, they brought in another new striker, Julian Alvarez, who is already showing he’s also a worthy successor to Sergio Aguero.

For just £70m, City have acquired two strikers from the very top drawer. And ominously they are both just 22 years old.

But while the Argentine Alvarez naturally evokes comparison with his legendary compatriot, it is Norway’s Haaland that is making the headlines.

The way he’s started makes a mockery of the £55m fee paid to Borussia Dortmund.

At the time he signed, it seemed only about half of his true value; now it’s looking like the bargain of the century.

If it doesn’t seem fair that an oil-rich, virtually state-owned club should take advantage of a buy-out clause in a player’s contract, it was Haaland’s wish to play under Pep Guardiola that swung it.

All the big clubs had a sniff and Manchester United couldn’t get him even when managed by compatriot Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, a personal friend of the player’s father.

He’s ambitious and saw City as the best bet to start winning things.

As a Norwegian, he has little chance of landing international honours so if he wants to win trophies, has to choose his clubs carefully.

Ominously, at City he looks a perfect fit. - FMT

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.