For love of god, not fear of man

For so many who grew up in strict obedience of the elders in our society, the idea of challenging the ideals that we grew up with is an incredible feat - one that some might go as far as careful, casual chatting with very close friends, but few would publicly raise questions about culture and morality.

Islam tells us that the first jihad must begin within ourselves. So even if these answers never see the light of day, I wonder how many of us explored inwardly to find out how much of our truth we have accepted brings real peace to our realities, and how many are simply constructs that we have adopted as our own without any further interrogation or thought.

How far has this seeped into the very identity of who we are? How much of ourselves have we given and how much more do we owe?

Take for example, the upbringing of children. From a very young age, some parents have instilled into the psyche of their children the notion of God's wrath. "Kalau nakal nanti Allah marah!" - and versions of such threats have been used to ingrain fear using the name of God, disconnecting the actual feelings of the parents from the equation, and elevating them as guardians of God's feelings.

The child grows up and is distilled with more visions of God's wrath. The imagery of the burning fires of hell is often invoked as the ultimate price to pay for defiance and disobedience. But unlike the Quran which tells us that heaven and hell are decisions reserved exclusively for God, man condemns those they wish to hell for just about any reason, including those that are sometimes the most trivial.

As the child blossoms into adulthood, his/her sense of "sin" is shaped, whereby if the parents had done their duties right, the line between sin (dosa) and reward (pahala) is starkly defined, black one side, white the other, with no grey areas.

Islam, in fact, has loads of grey areas - which really is a blessing and sign of God's wisdom and compassion. According to a narration by Abu Huraira, the Prophet once told the story of a prostitute who came across a thirsty dog by a well. She used her shoe to give some water to the dog, and Allah forgave her for that (Sahih al Bukhari 3143, Sahih Muslim 2245).

Sahih al Bukhari Volume 4, Book 56, Number 676 tells us the story of a man who had murdered 99 people in cold blood. Feeling remorse, he went to a learned scholar who, upon hearing what he did, told him that he will not be pardoned. The man killed the scholar.

He then sought another scholar who, being truly wise, said that, of course, God would pardon him if he truly repented. He also advised the man to move away from bad company and be with good people.

The man repented, wept for God's forgiveness and started his journey to be with good people. Alas, just as he began his travels, his appointed hour arrived and he died. The angels of punishment and the angels of mercy both laid claim over his soul. As the hadith goes, the angels of mercy eventually received him.

Both of these hadiths show that mankind is quick and harsh to prosecute, when in fact, God is quick and gentle to forgive and even reward.

When they tell a woman that she should be patiently loyal when paired with an abusive husband, I wonder if they truly believe their own words when they say that this violent man is her ticket to heaven.

And when they tell her that she will be queen of her husband's bidadari (angel) in heaven, I wonder if that is meant to make her feel better about how automatically deserving this man is of this heavenly reward - when in fact, it forces her to stay in the unhappy marriage because she will continue to think that his behaviour can change, if not in this world, then the next.

When leaders evoke God's wrath to demand obedience, they need to consider the allegiance that they are attempting to command. When they say things such as it is a sin to vote for one religion/race/party over another, or that God's mighty catastrophe will befall all of society should they not reject certain traits, I wonder if they are really convinced that God is more destructive than constructive.

I do not have to wonder how far this notion of a vengeful God goes in attracting others to Islam. I have been attacked, and will continue to be attacked, for embracing a loving, compassionate and merciful God of Islam to bring peace to my own reality.

The Quran tells us that it is in the remembrance of God that hearts will find peace [13:28]. Thus is the existential route to peace that each person must find for themselves - is it in remembering all the things that could make God angry and dedicating our lives to avoiding them? - or is it in remembering the vastness of God's love for all things and treating the diversity of God's creation with kindness and mercy?

And we come to the men who are serving jail time because they did not willingly attend Jumaah prayers. Oh yes, I am sure that after this, they will be turning up for Jumaah. But will they come out of love for God, or of fear of man?

The same goes for all the other moral policing activities that are happening with the likes of catching people who do not fast during Ramadhan and summoning women for how they choose to dress. These measures will only go as far as to make society appear visually compliant. Whether the transformation resonates inside, no one can really tell.

For Love of God or fear, or fear of man - whatever ever the answer, the religious department will never know - and they will have to be content with that.

Allah knows best.

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MAJIDAH HASHIM is a human rights defender and a divemaster in training. - Mkini