EMPATHY

 

From emotional researchers' standpoint empathy is the ability to sense other people's emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.

From a human and vulnerability perspective, empathy is communicating that incredible healing message of "You are not alone." Empathy is very important. And the types of empathy that you express or experience, matters as well.

Cognitive, Emotional and Compassionate empathy all manifest in different ways. Reflecting on your own experiences at home, at the office, or with friends and family, it probably would not take long for you to notice the different types in your own life. There are plentiful examples on television, in politics and in pop culture to draw from as well; however, many of them exhibit a lack of emotional intelligence, too. See if you can tell the difference when a person is responding with empathy or not.

Cognitive empathy definition: Simply knowing how the other person feels and what they might be thinking. Sometimes called perspective-taking.

What it is concerned with: Thought, understanding, intellect.

Benefits: Helps in negotiations, motivating other people, understanding diverse viewpoints, and ideal for virtual meetings.

Pitfalls: Can be disconnected from or ignore deep emotions; does not put you in another’s shoes in a felt sense.

Emotional empathy definition: When you feel physically along with the other person, as though their emotions were contagious.

What it’s concerned with: Feelings, physical sensation, mirror neurons in the brain.

Benefits: Helps in close interpersonal relationships and careers like coaching, marketing, management and human resources.

Pitfalls: Can be overwhelming, or inappropriate in certain circumstances.

Compassionate Empathy definition: With this kind of empathy, we not only understand a person’s predicament and feel with them, but are spontaneously moved to help, if needed.

What it’s concerned with: Intellect, emotion, and action.

Benefits: Takes in account the other person's circumstances in totality.

Pitfalls: Few - this is the type of empathy that we are usually striving for!

When we think of empathy we often think of a teeter-totter. Go too far into another person’s psyche and do you risk losing yourself? Avoid being authentically interested in the person's experience and are you missing out on an integral part of the human experience? Is too much feeling inappropriate? Too little, hurtful?

The truth is, not all situations are the same just like not all types of empathy are the same.

Can you think of one example of each type of empathy in your own life? Probably more than one. Hopefully, you have encountered compassionate empathy at some point!

Any type of empathy takes emotional fitness and practice - just like any balancing act. When you find that sweet spot where you can empathize effectively, whether navigating a workplace hurdle or comforting a loved one, it is absolutely worth the try.

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