SATURDAY JOKES - 76

 

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to town in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"
The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in town, she had become annoyed so she drove to the supermarket.
Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?"
The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"

Why is England the wettest country? 

Because the queen has reigned there for decades!

Little Adik's father took him on a fishing trip to Kuala Selangor.
On returning home after catching only three fish his father says, "The way I figure it each fish cost us RM400!"
Little Adik replied, "Well, at that price, it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more of them than we did."

Ten blondes and a brunette were mountain climbing one day. So, while they were climbing and they got into trouble at a spot. One of them had to give up their life so they could continue on. The brunette said "I'll do it so you girls can go on." So, she jumped to the jagged rocks below (ouch) the dumb blondes felt sorry for the brunette, so they jumped off too!

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? 

A maybe!

 

A tough looking group of hairy bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, got off his bike and says, "What are you doing?". "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"

What did the swordfish say to the marlin? 

You're looking sharp!

Ahmad and Kassim were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Ahmad, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Kassim shook his head and laughed. "Aren't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

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