Truth: a sometimes bitter but often necessary pill

 

From Dr Venugopal Balchand

Try telling a mother that her only son is so ill he will die within the next 48 hours. Or telling a father that his heart is so weak he will not live to attend his daughter’s wedding in a month’s time.

Try telling a husband that his wife’s frail body has been consumed by cancer and they would not be able to celebrate their coming 25th wedding anniversary together. Or telling a sister that the brother with whom she always fought but secretly adored was unlikely to be around for her next birthday.

Heart-wrenching moments. Unfortunately I have had to be part of such moments, on multiple occasions. And, man, the truth hurts.

As I celebrate my 25th year as a specialist, I look back at my journey of being asked tough questions by nervous, sometimes petrified and often shattered patients.

Doc! Do I really need that bypass surgery? Why can’t I just take some medicine and be done with it? Can I get a stroke after open-heart surgery? Is there a possibility that I will die on the operating table?

Then there are those who try to ease their anxiety by trying to be amusing. “Hey doc, can I have sex after heart surgery, or will I go when I come!” “If I die in the operating room, will you make sure that at least I look good in my coffin ya?”

Then there are questions that really tug at your heartstrings.

“Doctor, my only daughter, on whom I have spent a fortune, is graduating in London in three months. Will I be able to attend her convocation?”

“I never thought I would get married. Then I never thought that I would become a father! Now with God’s grace, I am going to become a grandfather! Do you think I will be around to hold the baby?”

The common factor in all my replies all these years has been the truth. No lies, no false promises.

Those who were privileged to have known my late father, Mannazhi Balchand, will vouch for the fact that he was straighter than a straight line. I have only, always, ever wanted to be known as my father’s son.

However, there are those who constantly tell lies – without batting an eyelid. They cheat. They steal. People of this country have stolen from the rich and from the poor, from adults and from funds meant for innocent children, some of them with no parents; they have stolen from religious organisations and from military cooperatives, from pension funds…. The list goes on.

We cannot spend our entire lives just receiving. At some point, we must give back, to the country and her people who made us who we are. At this stage in my career, I don’t think I can become very much better at my job, but I seriously want to become a better man, and I certainly can. I want to make my country a better place. I can do that by provoking thought. Good thoughts.

Twenty-five years of truthfully answering tough questions have made me despise the two traits that are increasingly defining our country – dishonesty and hypocrisy.

I confess I know nothing about economics, gross domestic product or foreign direct investment, terms that are very frequently used in the 12th Malaysia Plan document. But I do know that the country will not progress if our people continue to tell lies, cheat, steal, disrespect fellow Malaysians or divide our people by using the very instruments that are meant to unite us.

Let us start on our new journey today, an auspicious and holy day to many, with folded hands and bowed heads. - FMT

Dr Venugopal Balchand is an FMT reader.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.