TUESDAY JOKES - 79

 

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farmhand working with him to help castrate his sheep.
As the farmer castrated the first sheep, the French farmhand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash.
"No!" yelled the farmer, "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up, and we eat them, they're delicious! They're called Sheep Fries!"
The farmhand saved the parts and took them to the farmer's wife who cooked them up for supper. This went on for three days....and each evening they had Sheep Fries for supper.
On the fourth night the farmer came in to the house for supper.
He asked his wife where the farmhand was, and she replied, "It's the strangest thing! When he came in and asked what was for supper, I told him French Fries, and he ran like hell!"

Q: Why are blondes constantly running out of ice?
A: They forgot the recipe!

Starting the car for a long trip back into the city, Ahmad and Kassim said their final good-byes to their good friend, Sham.
"Thanks for putting us up for the weekend, pal," said Ahmad.
"The food was great, the drinks were superb, and I really enjoyed making love to your wife."
Shortly after hitting the road, Kassim turned to Ahmad and said, "I hope you weren't serious about making love to his wife!"
"No, I wasn't serious. She was lousy."

My dentist was voted "Dentist Of The Year"....
He didn't get a trophy; they just gave him a little plaque!

I don't know if you've ever been to England, but as soon as they find out you're from America, they hate you. 

They just think they're more sophisticated than the Americans are. They're so pissed at the Americans. 

You know what it is? They're mad because they lost the Revolutionary War, and they should be because there was only like nine Americans!

What gets wetter the more it dries?

A towel!

You: What cartoon mouse walks on two feet?

Them: Mickey Mouse

You: What duck walks on two feet?

Them: Donald Duck.

You: No, all ducks do!

This story cannot be found in the scriptures, but it was told that after his resurrection, Jesus appeared to an old fisherman. "I am Jesus and I have returned to show God's love and power." "No, you're not Jesus. Go away! You're scaring all the fish," answered the old fisherman. "I see you are full of doubt. What would you have me do to show who I am?" "Walk across the river," the old fisherman tells Jesus. Jesus starts walking across the river, but he sinks and disappears under the water. After he swims back to shore, the old fisherman says to him, "See, you're not Jesus. You can't walk on water!" Jesus responds, "Well, I used to be able to do it, but then I got these holes in my feet now!"

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