Converting to Islam not an escape route for child custody

 

From Moaz Nair

Converting underage children to another religion should not be done unilaterally by their parents and this has been decided by the highest court in the country. The consent of both parents is needed.

In most cases, a parent will convert to Islam then unilaterally convert his or her children with the intention of having custody over them, to flee from his or her contractual knot, and in the case of men, to avoid paying alimony or maintenance to the deserted spouse.

They feel that they can seek refuge in the Shariah court to fulfil this purpose.

Social implications

Anecdotal evidence has shown that a man converts to Islam in this country for three reasons.

The first category involves those who are truly sincere and love the religion. Not many men, though, fall into this category.

The second category involves marriage. Love is blind and when a man falls in love with a Muslim girl, he converts to marry her. Most converts in this country fall under this category. Many stay in the religion for a lifetime but there have also been cases where they leave the religion if the marriage ends in divorce.

The children in this situation would become the victims – they may end up being a “social disgrace” by having parents professing different religions. This is quite a stigma in Malaysian society.

The third category is the most dramatic. It involves “play-acting”. When the man finds that his marriage is no more compatible, he conveniently decides to convert to Islam. He may have three reasons to do so.

First, he would claim that he “loves” the religion. Only God knows his intention, though.

Second, he would want to have custody of the children and to accomplish this he quietly converts the children to Islam without their mother’s knowledge. He probably senses that “Muslim law” would favour him in this situation.

Third, he wants to avoid paying alimony to his former wife and refuses to give her a designated portion of the matrimonial property. He believes that when he becomes a Muslim, he has no more responsibility towards his former wife, or perhaps in some cases, his children, too.

There is always a likelihood that a convert may leave the religion after accomplishing his needs. Many of these “actors” have in the past left the country and even left their newfound religion after seeking redress for their wanton desires by exploiting religion.

This sticky situation is indeed giving a bad name to Islam in the eyes of non-Muslims and women in general.

In the case of non-Muslim women who sense that they would lose their children, many were coaxed – surprisingly even by Muslim women and NGOs – to leave the country where they will have full custody of their children.

Malaysia probably is the only country in the world where some parents make use of religion to shirk responsibility over alimony to the deserted spouse and the children. And religion is abused to claim custody of children.

The aggrieved party who has no avenue to argue on this point of law or go through the tedious legal processes – at times with no financial resources – would simply take the drastic move to flee with the children and leave the country.

And in this case, court decisions end up becoming mere academic exercises. Money is wasted on lawyers and time is wasted on fiery arguments in a court of law, all in a fruitless effort.

It affects the children psychologically more than anything else.

Escaping responsibility

The custody of children cannot be solely based on religious grounds. The emotional bond between a child and the mother or father should also be of prime concern. For that matter, a mother’s love for her child has no frontier.

A mother will battle to save her child from a lion’s jaws. This strength of love is a divine attribute found in a mother. This impulse cannot be decoded by any man-made law.

Thus, separating a child from the mother is just inhuman. It is simply insane to separate a caring mother from her own child. It does not even happen in the animal kingdom.

In a multiracial country, there must be apposite decisions on converts and their matrimonial responsibilities.

The authorities should affirm a standard legal system fair to all – Muslims and non-Muslims – and educate the people to accept reality in life as much as having faith in God. Sectarian religious laws are not always consistent and may not suit this cause as they come with too many interpretations.

Arguably, abandoning the spouse and immediately converting to another religion can be interpreted in many ways.

Is the conversion due to incompatibility and disharmony or is it because of one’s earnest desire to convert and faith in the newfound religion? Or is it a flimsy excuse to escape from one’s marital problems and wriggle out of responsibilities?

When a parent who has marital problems or who is irresponsible towards his or her spouse seeks a way out of the mire by expediently converting to another religion to seek redress, this is synonymous with deceitfulness. To be conniving and devious is against the tenets of every religion.

Unfortunately, there are those in society who make use of religion to get away from their marital responsibilities. There are also a small number of “irrational” groups in society who condone this act – citing various superfluous and sentiment-driven reasons to justify their arguments. More often than not, these views are irrational and at times politically shaded.

From the Islamic point of view, however, there is no form of coercion to make a person convert to the religion. The elemental and unswerving intention to convert or seek faith in Islam should come from within oneself, when shown the path (hidayah) and not at all predisposed by ulterior motives or selfish benefits.

Coercion can be in the form of bad faith or intent. There is no coercion in Islam, though.

No parent should take refuge in a religion to escape the law. No parent should use religion to shirk their responsibilities towards their spouse and children. No parent should use religion as a pretext to gain custody of a child.

This should be the ideal legal framework in a multiracial and multi-religious society.

Again, politics in religion has cloaked and shammed the many issues of matrimonial disputes between Muslims and non-Muslims in this country.

Supreme legal system

The country’s laws on the rights to convert the religion of a child are seen to be fair when this matter is resolved in the civil courts where there exists a consistent decision-making process.

A parent cannot unilaterally convert a child to another religion. It has to be with the consent of both mother and father of the child.

Since religious authorities do not seem to be consistent in their views on this issue, they need to respect and adhere to the existing supreme legal system of the country and the civil courts where matters of this nature can be resolved amicably.

To quote Syed Akbar Ali, a Quranist and prominent blogger, “This is a case of different religious interpretations. The interpretation of religion seems to be bound or defined by political jurisdiction – it may be different from one state to another state, from one country to another country. And there are certainly differences in interpreting the religion according to the sects.

“Hence, there is no consistency in the interpretation of religion. The civil courts, on the other hand, uphold one set of laws which are clearer, logical, scientific (evidence based) and consistent. They are more universal.”

When religion is subject to the interpretation of religious authorities, there will be no uniformity and it becomes more contentious and leads to no definite solution to controversies, such as the case of custody and unilateral conversion of underage children. - FMT

Moaz Nair is an FMT reader.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.