14-year-old bride — Tay Tian Yan

A 14-year-old girl married a 23-year-old teacher.

Oh, it did not take place in Africa, a Middle East country or a hidden tribe in Papua New Guinea, but Malaysia.

To be honest, I felt nausea after reading the news. Alas, 14 years old!

At the age of 14, girls are not fully-grown yet and they are not physically and mentally mature. At this age, they should be studying and nestling in the arms of their parents. Their life has just started and there are many things waiting for them to experience and complete.

Of course, if some are premature, a 14-year-old girl might fall in love with a boy or a man, such as her teacher. She might also want to marry him.

It is not a big deal. It is just a girl’s fantasy, or some call it puppy love.

However, it definitely does not mean that she should marry the man or have sexual relations with him as it is just an illusion and cannot become a reality.

After a period of time, she will find how childish she was and wake from her fantasy. She will then say goodbye to the Prince Charming in her dream and continue to grow up.

Of course, there are some exceptions. Some girls might be obsessed with their fantasy and refuse to wake up.

When this happens, family and society, as well as morality and law will have to step in and play a role to prevent underage sexual relations and young marriage. The life of an underage girl, after all, has just started and there are still many ideals to be realised. They should not be a man’s wife and children’s mother in advance.

Underage marriages take place only in the past feudal times and tribal societies. From the civilisation perspective, it is immoral and not permitted by law.

In Malaysia, the legal marriage age is 18 according to the Law Reform (Marriage and Divorce) Act 1976. As for Muslims, men must be at least 18 years old while girls must be 16 years old or above.

Of course, the law also provides that having sexual relations with an underage girl, whether voluntarily or by force, is considered as rape.

These are the safety net to protect underage girls.

However, there are still loopholes to the safety net. Siti Maryam Mahmood, 14, and her 23-year-old teacher Abdul Manan Othman got married after being given permission in an Islamic Sharia court.

They also took part in a 1 Malaysia wedding reception organised by the Federal Territory Islamic Affairs Department (Jawi).

Leaving religious factors aside, it is actually a humanity and social problem.

The personalities of girls at this age are not sound yet and they are not mentally mature. Regardless whether they do it voluntarily or passively, it is a deprival of their innocence and childhood.

How should she live her life in the future? Should she get prepared for school or feed her children when she gets up in the morning? Should she do her homework and play or serve her husband when she returns from school in the afternoon?

She would not be able to stay innocent and return to her childhood to do things that most 14-year-old girls do.

As for the 23-year-old husband, how could he marry a little girl? He could actually marry a grown woman, or at least, wait until Siti achieves the legal marriage age. Is he a paedophile? Would parents send their children to the school with such a teacher?

Have Siti’s parents fulfilled their responsibilities to protect her?

What kind of example has the marriage set for society? — mysinchew.com