Marrying Kindergarten Kids And School Children

By Syed Akbar Ali

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Yesterday I attended the “International Conference on Family Institutions In The 21^stCentury : Ideals And Realities” which was organized and held at the International Institute of Advanced Islamic Studies (IAIS) at the University Malaya. I was unexpectedly asked to be a Moderator for one of the sessions.

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Earlier in the morning sessions one of the speakers a Dr Omar Farooq, had shocked everyone present (mostly Muslims) when he explained what the ancient scholars or fuqaha had ruled about the status of wives in Muslim marriages. Dr Omar Farouq said in the past the majority of the fuqaha or scholars held that a marriage contract was like a sales contract. (Dr Omar reasoned that this was because the fuqaha were only familiar with sales contracts). So the ancient scholars said that a husband’s obligations to a wife was similar to a buyers obligations under a sales contract.

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What does this mean? Dr Omar’s explanation shocked everyone there. For example Dr Omar said, the old scholars held the view that when a wife gets sick, the husband is not obliged to take care of his sick wife. This is because when the wife is sick, she is not able to provide the husband sexual gratification. Therefore she is in breach of the marriage contract where the husband is the provider and the wife has to perform her wifely duties. In other words, if you don’t deliver, then I don’t have to take care of you !!

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Fortunately during question time, Professor Mohd Hashim Kamali the well known modern Islamic scholar and Chairman of the IAIS stood up and clarified Dr Omar’s entire presentation. Prof Kamali stressed that the marriage contract is a social contract and not a purchase of goods. So the old scholars were not correct in reducing a marriage contract to a sales and purchase contract.

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I must stress that none of these ideas are found in the Quran. These are extra-Quranic ideas, meaning they are from outside the Quran.

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Anyway, coming back to the real world, someone recently asked me my views on child marriages – referring to the most recent case. The guy who married the 14 year old child is an ustaz. This is not the first time an ustaz is getting involved in such things and neither will it be the last. Here is the news from yesterday (truncated):

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Tuesday December 14, 2010 - Shahrizat raises questions on the long-term impact on child brides

• PETALING JAYA: The Syariah Court has been urged to . . exercise wisdom when giving consent for underage girls to get married.
• Shahrizat Abdul Jalil said the court should . . . . be responsible when granting consent
• “. . . . is it the right thing to do?” she said, referring to the recent marriage between 14-year-old Siti Maryam Mahmod and 23-year-old Abdul Manan Othman.
• Shahrizat also questioned the young girl’s capability to run a family and raise her child when she herself needed guidance from an adult.
• “It is not our culture in Malaysia to practise child marriage. I hope such cases will not occur again,” she added.

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Obviously the Minister is questioning the wisdom of the Syariah Court, and advising the Syariah Court to be more responsible and also to do things correctly. The Minister also hopes that such cases of child marriages will not happen again. Ini bukan saya cakap, tapi Menteri yang cakap ok. So jangan lah marah saya.

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First of all, this is among the reasons why the Islamic countries will remain in the “Club of Doom”, in the backwoods, backwards, backwater, Third World tong sampah. Other people around the world are busy building their modern societies, building their economies, improving the lives of their people, making peoples’ lives easier and more comfortable, becoming technologically advanced nations, becoming manufacturing economies, producing modern, sophisticated, cultured and dynamic societies.

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And here we are in Malaysia where the Minister is scolding the Syariah Court granting permission for some ustaz fellow to marry a child. Is this all we are capable of? Kahwin kanak-kanak, kahwin dua, kahwin tiga, kahwin empat, kahwin di Siam, kahwin lari, cerai sms and all this crap. I have written about this topic before. If you are interested you can read it here

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However I will just regurgitate the subject. The idea that grown men can marry small children is usually derived from the extra Quranic writings about the Prophet marrying a young six year old girl. In the modern age today a six year old is a kindergarten child. Again extra Quranic means these teachings cannot be found in the Quran. Here is some reference:

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Bukhari Volume 5, Book 58, Number 236: Narrated Hisham's father: Khadija died three years before the Prophet departed to Medina. He stayed there for two years or so and then he married 'Aisha when she was a girl of six years of age, and he consumed that marriage when she was nine years old.

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Quite a few scholars have been embarrassed at explaining this story. Some of them say that this issue of child marriage is “one of the most controversial issues confronting Muslims today”. I think the comments by Shahrizat proves this point again. Some religious scholars have even questioned the authenticity of this story. You can read here and here about differing opinions among the scholars about the ‘age of Aisha’ whom the scholars say was the Prophet’s very young wife.

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Other versions of these stories say the Prophet married a nine year old and consummated the marriage when the girl was 14 or 16. Yet another version says the Prophet married the girl when she was 18. So which version is the ‘most authentic’ ? Here is one excerpt :

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“2. The compiler of the famous Hadith collection Mishkat al-Masabih, Imam Wali-ud-Din Muhammad ibn Abdullah Al-Khatib, who died 700 years ago, has also written brief biographical notes on the narrators of Hadith reports. He writes underAsma, the older daughter of Abu Bakr:

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“She was the sister of Aisha Siddiqa, wife of the Holy Prophet, and was ten years older than her. … In 73 A.H. … Asma died at the age of one hundred years.”

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This would make Asma 28 years of age in 1 A.H., the year of the Hijra, thus making Aisha 18 years old in 1 A.H. So Aisha would be 19 years old at the time of the consummation of her marriage, and 14 or 15 years old at the time of hernikah. It would place her year of birth at four or five years before the Call.

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3. The same statement is made by the famous classical commentator of the Holy Quran, Ibn Kathir, in his book Al-bidayya wal-nihaya:

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“Asma died in 73 A.H. at the age of one hundred years. She was ten years older than her sister Aisha.”

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This is what the scholars say ok. I didnt say this. Jangan marah saya. The problem with the extra Quranic writings is that there are many versions and interpretations of things. If one scholar says like this, another scholar can come up and say ‘no its like that’. This is what you will read in the two websites above. I also noticed this at the International Conference yesterday.

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As usual at the Conference yesterday and also in the writings of the scholars there is hardly any reference to what the Quran says about marriage and the age of marriage. (Yet Muslims like to boast to everyone that the Quran is their Book of Guidance). Why don’t the Muslims refer to their own Quran?

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It is really very simple to find out what the Quran says about the age of marriage. We just check verses from the Quran that talk about marriage (nikah) as well as verses that talk about young women (fatayaati) and such. Here are some of these verses. All of them mention marrying women who reach intellectual and physical maturity :

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[Surah 4.25] And whoever among you has not within his power ampleness of means

to marry free believing women, then (he may marry) of those whom your right hands

possess from among your believing maidens . .”

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Please pay attention to the words “from among your believing maidens”. The Arabic word for maiden is ‘fatayaati’. Fatayaati is not a six year old child. Fatayaati means a ‘young woman’, a young adult female. The male youth or young man is called a ‘fataah’. For example in the story of the Prophet Joseph, when he was seduced as a young man (fataah) by the ruler’s wife.

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[Surah 12.30] And women in the city said: The ruler’s wife seeks her young man

(fataah) to yield himself (to her), surely he has affected her deeply with love; most

surely we see her in manifest error.

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Fataah is a young man – capable of loving a woman as in the story of Joseph. Likewise 'fataayati’ is a young woman, suitable for marriage as recommended in 4:25 above. Here is another verse about the age of marriage :

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[Surah 4.6] And test the orphans until they attain the age of marriage; then if you find in them maturity of intellect, hand over to them their property, and do not consume it extravagantly and hastily, lest they attain to full age; and whoever is rich, let him abstain altogether, and whoever is poor, let him eat reasonably; then when you hand over to them their property, call witnesses in their presence; and God is enough as a Reckoner.

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‘Hatta izaa balaghu nikaaha’ means ‘until they attain the age of marriage’. Not only must the orphan have reached biological puberty (balaghu nikaaha) but they must also have the intellectual maturity to manage property to sustain their livelihood. Indeed that would be the suitable age of marriage for a young woman. In the normal scheme of living on the planet earth, a six year old girl certainly will not have reached biological puberty and it is doubtful if a 14 year old girl (or boy) has the intellectual maturity to manage her own affairs, or take care of any property to sustain family life, including raising children. (Toys and Barbie dolls cannot be considered property and wealth needed to sustain a livelihood ok).

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Here is another verse from the Quran that talks about marrying young women :

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[Surah 2.221] And do not marry the idolatresses until they believe, and certainly a

believing maiden is better than an idolatress woman, even though she should please you; and do not give (believing women) in marriage to idolaters until they believe, and

certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please

you; these invite to the fire, and God invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His

will, and makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful.

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Men are encouraged to marry ‘believing maidens’ (amaatun mu’minaatun). Nowhere does the Quran tell us to marry six year olds. In all these verses which talk about marriage (nikaah) the words used include:

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‘fatayaati’ (young women),

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balaghu nikaah (reach marriageable age),

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amaatun mu’minaatun (believing maidens)

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There are ‘civilised’ laws in our country. The civilized laws say that it is statutory rape to engage in sex with anyone below 16 years of age (I think this applies to boys and girls). This seems like a sensible and good law. Why not we apply this law uniformly on everyone – the civilized as well as the less civilized ? And lets make it a uniform law that girls and boys must be at least 18 years old before they can be married.

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In the future, after decades of eating genetically modified chickens, genetically modified fish and other genetically modified foods which may result in the human sprouting an extra ear behind the head then we may refine or redefine the minimum age of marriage. Until then 18 sounds like a good cut off age. Boleh setuju tak? Kita gunakan otak saja.