A nation of toxicity?

 

In life and at work, you will meet all sorts of weird and wonderful people.

You will absolutely love working, and being with some of them. While with others, you might just enjoy being their colleague because you learn so much from them.

But, the nastiest type of co-worker or pseudo-friend is the one who is toxic.

The same goes for your leaders. There will be many bosses you adore. Then, there may also be others who are hard on you, but who you still can accept, because you trust them.

But, the most damaging leader is the one who is toxic.

Leaving aside your bosses at work for a second, it is clear that even leaders in the public domain have a dark side. All you have to do is follow our nation’s politics to see them in action.

Having to work or follow these toxic people will cause all kinds of problems for you.

Toxic people always revel in histrionics and melodramas. They are awfully demanding without actually being clear. And ultimately, they leave you in a cloud of negativity.

At work, you feel exhausted, exasperated and there is a huge trust deficiency when this happens.

Actually, I reckon most Malaysians feel exactly the same. We are fatigued and distrusting of each other, and our leaders.

The stress caused by the negative impact of toxic people leaves both physical and mental scars. And, this makes it all the more important for you to recognise, and steer clear of them.

In any organisation, the senior executives have the power to create an environment that allows people to grow and give their best. Or alternatively, the same people can create a toxic workplace, where everyone is unhappy.

This doesn’t just happen at the workplace.

In civil society groups, sporting associations, religious bodies, voluntary organisations, and especially in the management of a nation, good leaders always serve the bigger picture, and work towards bringing people and communities together.

Self-obsessed leaders on the other hand, demoralise and create discord everywhere they go. And eventually, the environment in any given community becomes lethal for everyone.

All organisations in Malaysia, just like the nation itself, are plural societies. In this type of situation, leaders must be embracing, selfless and handle things with mindfulness.

Sound, stable bosses generally build companies where the rules make sense to employees, and it frees them to focus on performing their jobs well.

But if the leader is a toxic personality, the ideas generated in the organisation will be warped. And, even the systems and structure, will reflect on his or her toxicity.

At work, you will always find people who think differently from you. Differing opinions and varying viewpoints are natural in any organisation. And this is absolutely fine. You certainly need a variety of perspectives to get results.

Having differing opinions doesn’t constitute toxicity. So, how then do you identify a toxic person?

The first signal is negativity. Do not confuse toxic people with realists. You will have realistic people in your company, and often you will think they are just being negative.

Know the difference.

Co-workers who are problematic thrive in a negative attitude. They are overly sarcastic, and they moan nonstop about everything. They complain when you give them work, and they will complain if you don’t. Everything is only on their terms.

Toxic people will not apologise. They will not see any reason to, under any circumstance. For them, things are always someone else’s fault.

In most instances, these types will try to orchestrate relationships only to serve themselves. And, they will try to gain sympathy, and attention by claiming “victim” status.

If someone cannot accept that they might be wrong at times, and are defiant no matter what evidence or proof is presented to them; they are definitely “toxic”.

They have very little care for others, and you cannot depend on any support from them. All their actions will be self-serving, so they cannot function effectively in a team. Instead, they will actually be counter-productive in any team endeavour.

Stay away from people who find fault at every opportunity, and make you out to be wrong at every chance. Loyalty is an alien concept for them.

Finally, one of the significant indicative signs of a toxic person is their lack of empathy or consideration towards other people. They won’t give a damn about what you are going through.

Be vigilant and do not get drawn in to these types.

Whether it’s at work, in your friendships, in the organisations that you volunteer at, and at your religious or spiritual congregations – keep a watchful eye out for toxic people who will destroy harmony.

Most of all, as citizens of a rainbow nation like Malaysia, always be cautious and eschew leaders who thrive in creating chaos, and in bringing their unbridled toxicity to the public domain.

Malaysia cannot afford to be a nation of toxicity. - FMT

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.