Netflix and chill? Think again

Kuala Kangsar MP Mastura Mohd Yazid has recently expressed concernsover sex scenes on Netflix, claiming that the widespread sex scenes are causing concern among Malaysians.

And she isn’t alone.

Apparently, one can no longer Netflix and chill without the online streaming service influencing our mental health and emotional well-being, so much so that we need our censorship board butchering Netflix shows which promote sex.

Whoa!

As an ultimate couch potato who absolutely loves Netflix, I am now really worried about my state of mind.

I mean, having devoted all my free time to Netflix and chill, I wonder how far the sex scenes I’ve watched on Netflix has affected my soul.

On second thought, there are many people around the world who watch Netflix every day. How have sex scenes affected them then?

(For the uninitiated, Netflix and chill means to watch Netflix with a romantic prospect, with the eventual expectation of sexual activity).

It must’ve been Netflix

I am sure you’ve heard about the 40-year-old man from Arizona, United States, who got his penis stuck inside his pet cat’s anus recently. When I read the news, I ended up laughing hysterically – I mean who would have thought of having anal sex with a pussy cat, right?

But then, it hit me right between my eyes – what if the man was a Netflix fan and his bizarre sexual behaviour was a result of watching all the sex scenes on Netflix?

Thank God I don’t own a cat – or have a penis for that matter.

Malaysians binge on Netflix

If we examine sex-related cases in our own country, clearly we can see similar behaviour patterns.

After all, according to Netflix, Malaysians top the list of Binge Racers in Asia, ranking ahead of Singapore, Philippines, Taiwan and Hong Kong. Binge Racers are defined as viewers who complete a season of a TV show within 24 hours of its release of Netflix.

I suppose that explains all the weird sex news I am reading about from our own soil.

The most recent example is the case where a 46-year-old woman in Sibu stabbed the private parts of her husband’s girlfriend (who was also a married woman) while the three of them were having a threesome.

Aiyoh, this clearly has Netflix written all over it!

Of course, you could question how an assistant lorry driver and a coffee shop attendant who lived in a rental room, could afford to watch Netflix – but then again, after May 9, I’ve begun to believe that anything is possible!

And then there’s another case in Kajang where a 30-year-old man was arrested for allegedly raping, sodomising and assaulting his 18-year-old sister-in-law for the past two years under the victim’s sister’s nose.

Then there’s a case in Kampar earlier this year where a father and a grandfather were arrested for allegedly raping a 13-year-old girl since she was just eight years old.

There can’t possibly be anything else that could have driven these two scumbags to do what they did, except having watched the sex scenes in Netflix, right?

Likewise, the principal of a tahfiz school in Kepong who sexually abused and sodomised up to nine of his students.

And how can we ever forget the controversial marriage between a 41-year-old man from Kelantan with an 11-year-old girl whom he had been wanting to marry since she was seven-years-old? Well, at least now we can guess why it happened the way it did – because the man loved Netflix!

With the widespread sex scenes in Netflix brainwashing innocent Malaysians who tune in to the online streaming service for entertainment, no wonder-lah we keep hearing of so many sick cases in Malaysia every day!

If Netflix was really so powerful

If censoring Netflix can reduce rape cases, incest cases, molest cases, unnatural sexual acts cases, sexual harassment cases, sexual abuse cases, molestation cases, paedophilic cases, child marriage cases, child pornographic cases and whatever sexual related cases that one can think of, then that's exactly what we should do.

In other words, if we want to put a stop to all these sex-related nonsense in our country, we should no longer Netflix and chill – let’s butcher Netflix and then chill. Yeah!

But hang on a second.

What if sexual crimes and sexual related problems still occur in our country after Netflix has been stopped?

What then?

Perhaps then we must go after the politicians who are frequently quick to blame external elements on all the problems in the country!

Come to think of it, with a global community of over 137 million subscribers in over 190 countries, there must be a reason why no lawmakers in any others countries are as worried about the sexual contents on Netflix as some of our politicians sitting in Dewan Rakyat.

Oh well, I suppose anxiety is a part of human nature.

Perhaps all they need to do is to just Netflix and chill.

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FA ABDUL is a passionate storyteller, a media trainer, an aspiring playwright, a director, a struggling producer, a photographer, an expert Facebooker, a lazy blogger, a part-time queen and a full-time vainpot. - Mkini