Why marriage is now seen as an option, not a must

 

Official statistics show that there were 2,500 fewer marriages in 2019 compared to the year before.

PETALING JAYA: People have become more independent and self-sufficient, leading to marriage being regarded as an option and no longer a must, says a family relationships support group.

Lee Wee Min. chairman of the Focus on the Family Malaysia organisation, said economic stablity had led towards a more individualistic society in which marriage was no longer a need but an option.

“A lot of marriages survived because the partners depend on each other. However, as society starts to become more affluent, they become less dependent, making it easier for them to leave their partner if they no longer get along with each other.

“This is what causes the increase in the divorce rate,” he told FMT, adding it was apparent that the social institution of marriage has become substantially weaker over the years.

According to official statistics, there were 6,000 more divorces last year compared to 2018, while the number of marriages dropped by 2,500.

The Chief Statistician, Mohd Uzir Mahidin, said the median age of grooms remained at 28 while for brides it increased from 26 to 27, adding that the tendency for late marriages was more prevalent among the educated group and those seeking to strengthen their individual economic stability, particularly those living in urban areas.

Lee said the decline in the number of marriages was also attributed to the fear and concern over the possibility for it to collapse. “People realise the divorce rate is increasing and this makes them hesitant to get married.”

According to a study by the National Population and Family Development Board, he said, lack of understanding between partners also contributed to the increase in the divorce rate.

To overcome this, he proposed for the government to emphasise the importance of marriage courses among young people, with a focus on important topics such as sexual intimacy, family finances, relationship with in-laws and marriage management.

Psychologist and family therapist Dr Mat Saat Baki said there is a need to revamp the marriage courses.

“The courses that the government (currently) provides are not skill-based, which is something that partners need to manage their marriage,” he said.

However, he said divorce should not be viewed negatively.

“Sometimes, a divorce is better than an unhappy marriage,” he said, adding that no one should feel trapped in a failed marriage because many see it as a social taboo. - FMT