How would you like to die?

 

If someone were to ask me how I would like to die, I’d say that I would like to die peacefully while asleep. I am sure most of you would have a similar, if not exactly the same, answer.

Why? Two simple reasons: We don’t want to suffer and we don’t want to put our family members through the trouble of caring for us if we are incapacitated.

Most of us, I believe, would want to die at home, knowing that our family members are around, and that they would attend to our bodies and give us a decent burial or cremate us according to traditional rites.

We wouldn’t want to die in some strange place or be buried or cremated by strangers.

Even if we are suffering from disease or hospitalised, we would want to know we are loved; we would feel good when our family members are around us. This gives us a sense of security, of being wanted.

Our family members too would want to be around when we are sick or when we are about to pass on, to hold us close or hold our hands and help us on our journey. It gives them a sense of having done their duty or shown their love right till the last moment.

This is important for those remaining behind, just as it is important for the person leaving the body.

And this is precisely why my heart goes out to those who die of Covid-19 and their families.

Imagine the pain of someone who has been admitted to hospital with Covid-19. Imagine her condition getting so serious that she is gasping for air. Imagine her being moved to the intensive care unit, given general anesthesia and intubated.

When a ventilator is keeping her alive, she can neither be calm nor relaxed. She’ll be fortunate if she doesn’t sink into an acute state of confusion or develop delirium. She’ll be fortunate if, in her confusion and pain, she does not attempt to pull out the endotracheal tube helping her breathe. She’ll be fortunate if doctors don’t keep her sedated to prevent her from causing self-harm.

A tracheostomy – where the surgeon inserts a tube into the trachea after making a hole in the front of the neck – may be required if the person needs to be on a ventilator for a longer period.

Imagine the pain.

Then, imagine that she is about to die. What is the last thing she will see?

She will almost certainly see a hazy alien (a doctor or nurse dressed in  personal protective equipment) peering at her.

Now visualise yourself in that situation.

Let that image sink in. And chew on this: When you die, you’ll become part of the daily Covid-19 death statistic. A statistic!

This is what our health ministry’s guidelines for the handling of dead bodies of suspected/probable/confirmed Covid-19 patients say about the presence of relatives:

“Relatives are strictly forbidden to touch or kiss the body. The number of relatives allowed to view the body for identification must be restricted to one person only. They must wear a minimum of fluid-resistant surgical face masks, and if needed, also wear gloves and protective aprons. They should only be allowed to stand at a minimum distance of one metre from the body. If the relatives are unable to come to the emergency and trauma department/ward, the identification process shall be done in the mortuary.

“Relatives are strictly forbidden to handle the body under any circumstances.”

Once a family member or friend is warded with Covid-19, you can’t touch them or be near them or see them. If they die, you’d be lucky to be allowed to see the burial or cremation from a distance.

Imagine the pain of a son or daughter or spouse unable to give a proper burial or perform the cremation rites for their parents or spouse. Imagine young parents weeping at home while strangers (health ministry and related workers) in PPE carry their child’s body to the graveyard and bury or cremate him.

I don’t know how to describe the pain of being fully well and having all the means at your disposal but not being able to give your father or mother or spouse or child or friend a decent burial.

There’s no dignity in such a death.

And that is what is happening not only in Malaysia but in all other countries where Covid-19 is ravaging lives and economies.

In some countries where there is a lack of hospital beds, people are dying in the corridors and even on the roads. In Italy about this time last year, doctors had to make the call as to who among their patients should live and who should die. In India today, the shortage of oxygen supply is resulting in more deaths than would likely have happened if hospitals were well equipped.

I hope Malaysia doesn’t reach the situation where there is a lack of hospital beds, or inadequate oxygen supply or insufficient medical staff due to cases rising beyond the capacity of our health infrastructure to handle.

Can you imagine what it would be like to die in such a circumstance? Can you imagine how it would be like to watch a loved one die along the corridor of a hospital? So near, yet so far!

It’s really too late to talk about government bungling or other people’s deficiencies.

Let’s just ensure we wear masks, practice physical distancing and wash our hands regularly, apart from following other SOPs and advice from the health authorities. Let’s also eat immune-boosting food and do exercises at home to strengthen our body-mind.

If we do that, it is just possible that we and our loved ones may avoid seeing an alien peering down as we or they die with tubes sticking through our noses or mouths or necks.

Now, tell me my friend: How would you like to die? - FMT

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.