A magnanimous apology, and the ‘rasam’ row cools off

 

Recently, a video clip on rasam, the peppery Indian soup, raised temperatures and caused much heartache for many Malaysians when a sweet hijab-clad Malay woman reacted angrily to some Indian people who took offence over her claim of the soup being a Malaysian dish, saying it has been modified and all.

In an emotional outburst, she claimed Indian Malaysians were merely in the country on a temporary stay, and they could go back to their homeland if they wanted.

The diatribe sent social media into an unnecessary frenzy, made worse by another clip also making the rounds then, showing a Malay and Indian family fighting over flower pots.

The usual stereotype insults were heard – “India pariah” (to which I have now developed a strong anti-body after decades of facing it), “balik India” (go back to India) and “Melayu bodoh” (actually a stupid statement itself).

This made me wonder if the long movement control order regime has begun turning us into illogical bad-mouthing people who have lost it all.

Then, came a beautiful viral clip in which the same rasam lady displayed absolute grace in apologising to the Indian community, admitting that circumstances led her to commit an irrational act. Clasping her palms together, she said she had no intention to hurt anyone.

I am not going to question why she did it in the first place but the fact that she chose to make a public apology in this fashion really touched me and many of my friends. Simply because “sorry” has been the hardest thing to say for many Malaysians, including politicians.

As for the flower pot fight, I am glad the police have decided to take statements from both sides. I am not sure how it will pan out but I hope in true Malaysian spirit, both parties will apologise to each other and start worrying about more serious problems we are currently facing and will have to handle in future. Besides recovering from the pandemic, the worsening drug problem among our youths is a very serious matter.

There have been many similar clips that have made their rounds, maybe because the lockdown has either made them very free or the absence of our typical human interactions is doing things to our minds.

What is most scary is that we are probably midway in our attempts to get back to normal routines and we can expect more restrictions on movement as we go along. This has resulted in most people staying at home, and also giving rise to parking problems in crowded housing estates.

With most households having several cars, especially in crowded urban residential schemes, spats between neighbours is also apparently on the rise.

The list of such incidents goes on; they mostly depict the ugly side of all of us.

If any of us claim to be absolutely clean and do not harbour any racial prejudices whatsoever, it is a big lie. These days, all of us are guilty of making racial remarks at the slightest opportunity when we refer to people of other races with nicknames that are also derogatory. Come on, don’t deny that guys, own up!

If we want the nation to be rid of racism, maybe we should look into our hearts first. Then look at all the lopsided policies that are in the way of unity. Asking for a utopia will be downright silly as there will never be one on this earth.

Instead of tolerance, Malaysians need to practise acceptance. Non-Malays must accept that they must give in a little, while Malays must understand that Malaysia is the very land that so many generations of Chinese and Indians know as their only home. Not India, not China.

So if anyone says “balik India or balik China,” it is an impossible thing to do as this is everyone’s motherland. Many have also served the military, giving most of their youth to the nation that they love.

To the sweet hijab-clad lady, I must convey my heartfelt thanks for showing the way to a better Malaysia with that gesture. It made me realise that each and every such action must be told to the nation.

Her actions were in the true spirit of the Malay “adat resam” (traditions), which reveres humility. I thank you with my hands clasped in return. - FMT

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.