SATURDAY JOKES - 108

 

A mother went to pick up her daughter from elementary school and found her doing handstands against the wall. When they got into the car, the mother said, "Darling, I wish you wouldn't do that because the boys can see your panties." "Okay, mommy," the little girl replied. 

The next day, the mother noticed her little girl's hands looked dirty, so she asked, "You haven't been doing handstands again and letting those boys see your panties, have you?" "Oh no, mummy," the daughter replied. "Honestly! I took them off first."

He is dark and handsome. 

When it's dark, he's handsome!

Teacher: "Answer this mathematics problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?"
Student: "A heart attack!"

I am truly sickened by the fact that due to some grand joke on someone else's part, I am forced to have to share oxygen with you!

 

You have that far look in your eyes: the farther you are, the better you look!

 

A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment.

He says, "Fine, you have a perfect eye sight!"

We heard that when you ran away from home, your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven!"

Johnny and Dave own a meat business. They are driving down a dirt road in their meat truck and hit something big!!! 

"What the hell was that," said Johnny. Dave said "I have no idea." Johnny said "Go have a look." Dave comes back and said we've hit a cow. Johnny said is it any good. Dave said "Its head is crushed." Johnny said "Well cut its head off, skin it, gut it and put it in the back with the rest." 

So, they drove down the road and hit a sheep. Johnny said "Is it any good." Dave said, "Yes." Johnny said "Skin it, gut it, chuck it in the back with the rest." 

They drove down the road and hit something even bigger!!! "What the hell was that," said Johnny. Dave said "I don't know." "Go have a look," said Johnny. Dave came back and said "we've hit a fat pig." Johnny said, "If it is any good, skin it, gut it, chuck it in the back with the rest." 

Dave comes back and says, "What do you want me to do with his motorbike!" 

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