It's not just about marriage between 2 men

He deserted his family and they had to pick up his sizeable debt

What's most condemnable about what Ariff did was that he left his family in the lurch. He left them to pick up his sizeable debt, and subjected them to pain, public embarrassment and ridicule. Petronas recently issued a summons to his family demanding the repayment of Ariff's education loan, a whopping RM890,000.

By Chok Suat Ling, New Straits Times

BE careful what you post on the social media. No-nos would include how many cows you had milked on Farmville, photos showing the layout and exact location of your home, and in the case of criminals, the luxury cars you had stolen.

It is also ill-advised to put up photos of yourself inebriated at a party on the day you had called in sick from work, and those of yourself getting married abroad to someone of the same gender when on the run from a study  sponsor.

Too far-fetched? Believe it or not, people have done all the aforementioned, and more.

Last week, photos of a 28-year-old Malaysian man surfaced on social media and blogs. The former medical student was in a state of wedded bliss in Dublin, Ireland, flushed with happiness, with his arm draped around his equally gay and gleeful spouse. Other photos show the couple locking lips, and in various poses typical among the just married.

The former student, Ariff Alfian, was resplendent in Malay traditional costume. His Caucasian partner was equally well turned out. It wasn't a grand wedding, but what made the entire combo of photos extraordinary was that the man and "wife" were of the same gender.

That, of course, sent many into a tizzy in Malaysia. A number spewed venom, the way they also did when transsexual Fatine Young married a British man in 2009, when Mohd Ashraf Hafiz Abdul Aziz wanted to change his name to Aleesha Farhana, and when Elton John performed in Genting Highlands.

Indeed, issues related to transgenders and homosexuality remain extremely sensitive in this country. But Ariff's case is not just about that. Many have, however, not been able to look beyond the "marriage".

What's most condemnable about what Ariff did was that he left his family in the lurch. He left them to pick up his sizeable debt, and subjected them to pain, public embarrassment and ridicule.

Petronas recently issued a summons to his family demanding the repayment of Ariff's education loan, a whopping RM890,000.

The former student of University College Dublin, Ireland, began studying medicine in 2003 but extended his studies for a few more semesters in 2008. He was suspended for failing to pay his academic fees that year when Petronas refused to sponsor the additional expenses of over RM160,000 a year.

Ariff's father had advised him to continue his studies in Malaysia but he refused and returned to Dublin, cutting off contact with his family. The retiree has been looking for his son since and had made eight trips to Dublin, in addition to lodging a missing person's report with the police, Wisma Putra and the Irish and Malaysian embassies.

It appears that while there are parents who neglect their children, we are also not short of cases involving thoughtless, self-centred children. The many young Malaysian girls who eloped to Lombok without a word to their parents and families to marry Indonesian men are among them. Some of these girls later realise the folly of their ways, plead to return home, and have to be rescued by their parents and Umno Youth. Other examples abound.

There are even legends about such children. A famous one revolves around Si Tanggang, a poor boy who left his village to become a sailor. He went around the world in a ship and later stopped by his village for food and water. His poor mother, who was left to fend for herself for years, was excited to see her son again. But she was heartbroken when he pretended not to know her.

Si Tanggang was cursed and cast as a rock in his own ship, a story which was published in storybooks and turned into a movie. People in Muar, Johor claim it's a true story and that the incident happened in Kampung Bukit Treh, located some 10km from town. Whether fact or fiction, the story is about filial piety, and underscores the importance of being grateful to our parents.

Adult children such as Ariff may think they can pretty much do as they please -- which they can, to a degree -- but it's never okay to scandalise our nearest and dearest, cause them grief, and then leave them to pick up the pieces.