Top 20 Non-Winnable Candidates in GE-13 : Guess who they are?

After the recent UMNO AGM and the nonsensical brouhaha stirred up by the leaders of the BN ruling coalition, I was so disgusted it put me off the computer for almost 10 days.

But thanks to a hefty dose of antihistamines and antibiotics, the allergy attack became better and I could finally sit down and write.

Top Twenty Non-Winnable Candidates in GE-13 in descending order

20 : P Ramasamy (DAP), the current Penang Deputy Chief Minister II, was not in my list when this idea came to me weeks ago. But the current situation is one that he created for himself. He has turned off voters in Penang. I'm sorry to see a big man drop to his knees just because of his huge ego. He wants to sit in a state seat as well as a Parliamentary seat, he feels it is his birth right. How obnoxious can one get? He will lose big.

19 : Nasharudin Mat Isa (PAS). With his unusual link to UMNO and close ties to Hassan Ali, he has put himself far away from voters even from PAS, which loved him like a son. But sad to say, he is not so filial after all. Today, if he is selected to contest a seat for PAS, the chances of him winning is very slim. Although he has supporters, they won't be enough for him to win. He will need help from UMNO, which perhaps might pity him enough to throw out one or two boxes of postal votes to help him through.

18 : Who else? It surely has to be Hassan Ali (PAS). This great maestro will come down hard. He will finally have to face the realities on the ground. The people of Selangor will surely tell him what they think of his slimy and despicable ways. If he sits in Trengganu he might win, but in Selangor even with the help of UMNO, it is a sure-lose for him and PAS. If he thinks the people of Selangor are fools to fall for his shenanigans then he is wrong. This is an urban state and the people are all educated, thinking people. They won't forget so easily what he tried to do with the many issues he and his UMNO friends stirred up, especially the DUMC church raid and latest electronic-talking Bible scare..

17 : Zulkilfli Noordin (BN-friendly Independent), another troublemaker of the highest order who pretends to be holier than thou. But sad to say, he is fit only for the waste-paper basket. If he sits again in Kulim Bandar Baru, he is a sure loser. The constituents will make sure he loses his deposit. The people who voted him in on a PKR ticket were let down when he SOLD out to UMNO. If UMNO fields him in Kulim, his former PKR party will have a gala-filled day, they will win with their hands down.

16 : Zahrain Hashim (BN-friendly Independent). Once regarded as a strong supporter of Anwar Ibrahim's, Zahrain sold his friendship and soul away to UMNO for crumbs and a field trip with the PM overseas. The people of Bayan Baru want to see him again, this time they are waiting with rotten eggs and tomatoes. He has not shown his face since the day he walked out on them, he will not be fielded by any party. Even UMNO will not touch him with a ten-foot, just like a leper. Sure loser anywhere in Malaysia.

15 : Nasharuddin Hashim (UMNO). Does anyone remember him now? Well he was the man who caused the Perak coup by crossing over to PKR from UMNO and then jumping ship again. However, when he crossed back to UMNO, he took along 3 assemblyman from Pakatan Rakyat over to BN. Would this guy dare sit in Bota again? No way, because Bota remembers what a treacherous man he was - attending a ceramah at a stadium and promising allegiance to Anwar, and yet within days, he slunked back to UMNO. If the people of Bota have a question for him, it would be how much did Prime Minister Najib Razak pay him for his Oscar-winning performance.

14 : Osman Jailu (BN-friendly Independent). This Changkat Jering assemblyman is one of the infamous trio who bit the hand that fed them. He is from the trio of 'frogs' that jumped ship, prompting the coup in Perak. Chankat Jering will teach him a lesson if he goes there begging for votes again. But I think he is retired now. Apparently, he got a hefty payment for his betrayal - enough to feed him and his family and the next generation as well..

13 : Jamaluddin Mohd Radzi (BN-friendly Independent). This guy looks like an Casanova with his mustache and colouring - a true conman guise. He is the second member of the famous trio who sold out to UMNO for money, sparking the coup in Perak that toppled Mentri Besar Nizar Jamaluddin's Pakatan state government. Behrang remembers this ex-postman well. He will lose his deposit if he sits in Behrang again. Another guaranteed loser.

12 : N Gopalakrishnan (BN-friendly Independent). This one-time MIC Youth chief was Samy Vellu's close aide. I used to remember him by the size of the cakes he brought for Samy Vellu's birthdays. At times, these confections reached 4 feet in width. He became close to Anwar Ibrahim and was a well-known person in PKR, a good orator even in Bahasa Melayu. But like the others, he betrayed Anwar's trust for money. He was in very bad financial shape, but suddenly everything has been settled and he now lives comfortably thanks to UMNO. People of Bagan Serai, even the Indians there, will not vote for him again we will have one loudmouth less in Parliament. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

11 : M Saravanan (MIC). He is considered as one of Samy Vellu's attack dogs (You Tube). Again, a huge personality with a dubious background and currently facing a cheating scandal over some DBKL Flats, which he has denied. Although he won comfortably with 3,000 votes in Tapah in 2008 , he will lose big if he sits again in Tapah because the Indians there have deserted him. Thanks to Hindraf, anyone can beat him there. If it is a three-cornered fight, PKR will win it.

10 : Subramaniam Sathasivam (MIC), currently the deputy president of MIC and Minister for Human Resources. He is fighting a battle of sorts with his boss, G Palanivel. The sudden outbreak of infighting in MIC among the top leaders is causing a rift among the grassroots, and this has weakened his position in the party. Even if the people want to vote for him, the demons in MIC will ensure that he loses in Segamat!

9 : K Devamany (MIC). A vice-president at MIC, Devamany is one of the few MIC candidates who won the last election. But Cameron Highlands does not want him anymore. After two terms, he has forgotten his roots and is into National Politics, which doesn't augur when it is at the expense of his constituents who feel forsaken and neglected.  A sure loser in Cameron Highlands, no two ways about it.

8 : Khairy Jamaluddin (UMNO). This hot-shot Oxford graduate is no match for PKR's Chegubard or Badrul Hisham Shaharin in Rembau. As usual, when Khairy won, there was controversy just like in his UMNO Youth Chief victory over Mukhriz Mahathir. If he tries to defend Rembau, especially after the Gemas Gold-NFC-Shahrizat Jalil financial debacle, and also provided that UMNO allows him to, Khairy will lose big time. For sure, UMNO will try to castrate him from UMNO's polictics. The only face-saving grace for Khairy is through his father-in-law Abdullah Badawi, who may be able to convince UMNO warlords that he will vacate his seat in Kepala Batas and let Khairy contest that on his behalf. It may sound like a great sacrifice but the Dons in UMNO may still say NO!. It is no secret that the likes of Mahathir Mohamad want Khairy politically dead.

7 : Leo Gwo Burne (PKR). This guy became famous because of the 'correct, correct, correct' Lingam Tapes. During the tsunami of 2008, he was rewarded by the people for exposing the dishonesty endemic in Malaysia's judiciary. But a redneck he is, and not suitable or ready for national politics. Should PKR bank on him again, it will lose a seat in Kelana Jaya.

6 : Syed Hamid Syed Jaffar Albar (UMNO). The former Home Minister was responsible for the headache that is now troubling Hishamudin Hussein over the illegal immigrants issue. During his term, this guy approved many companies, granting them licences to act for the Home Ministry in recruiting foreign workers. They came out with outsourced permits, which was an open ticket for anyone to bring in foreign workers. These companies were carrying about 20,000 to 50,000 each on outsourced permits. They were so poorly organised that after sometime, most closed shop after reaping profits. This in turn left the outsourced permit holders in the lurch, as they lost their legal status with the closure of the firms. Hisham, already not known for having much 'smarts', has now to deal with the problem. Syed Albar, who was also blamed for detaining Teresa Kok, Raja Petra and a Sin Chew journalist under the ISA in 2008, will not win in Kota Tinggi. UMNO would not let him be a candidate anyway.

5 : Chua Soi Lek (MCA). Will this MCA president be a candidate in upcoming elections? If he has his way, for sure he will contest despite his obvious unpopularity. But Soi Lek's greed and ambition is famous and he will nag and pester UMNO until they say 'YES'. But sad to say, the Malaysian people - whetehr Chinese or Malay -  will surely say 'NO'. By virtue of his position, he has a choice of seats. He may feel he has a safe seat in Labis his previous parliamentary stronghold. But with his current dubious statements, especially on Hudud which upsets the Malays, and lopsided decisions within MCA to promote his son and tainted sex-DVD past, which angers the Chinese, it is best he doesn't waste precious BN seats. The people genuinely want to see him go. To ingratiate himself with UMNO in order to get a seat to contest, Soi Lek is even willing to support UMNO with both eyes closed. He is a NO-NO to all Malaysians.

4 : P Kamalanathan (MIC). This MIC information chief, who has a dubious degree which has still not been cleared yet, won in Hulu Selangor thanks to the support of the entire BN machinery together with lots of alleged 'voter-bribes', i.e. bribes given to voters. He committed the biggest cardinal sin to Indians when he bent low to kiss the hand of Muhiyiddin Yassin, the DPM. That picture is etched in the minds of all Indian voters - a picture that speaks a thousand words, a master-slave picture. I bet my last dollar no Indian in Malaysia likes it. And to top that, this guy is an outcast in MIC. He will lose wherever the Indians make up the deciding factor, such as in Hulu Selangor. Another sure loser for BN.

3 : And now, the grand finale - the Top Three shocking losses. Well, at number 3 is a fellow with a loud voice, an extinct face, King of amphibians, and the No. 2 racist in the country after Mahathir Mohamad, the Don. Ladies and gentleman, in third place is none other than Ibrahim Ali (BN-friendly Independent). Will he sit in Pasir Mas on an UMNO ticket or as an Independent? What ever he chooses he will lose big - whether in Pasir Mas or wherever he chooses to sit in Malaysia. This is the punishment Malaysians of all colors will exact on him for trying to divide them and hate each other. He may feel that he is well-liked by the Malay folk for championing their rights with his Perkasa movement. But he is wrong, the sentiments on the ground are that he is a clown! The only people who love him are mainly from UMNO, and they are not a large group. He and his Perkasa will be wiped out in GE-13. The people have had enough of his rhetoric and brashness and of course, Don Mahathir will abandon him in super-quick time too. After, the Don's motto is simple - Use and Throw!

2 : At Number 2 is a lady who has become a liability to UMNO - with or without her family. She is notorious now for Malaysia's own Cowgate scandal, a RM250mil financial debacle involving a national livestock project. Where in the world do cows live in condos and drive around in a Mercedes super-class car, other than Malaysia? No wonder, Malaysia is the world's 4th most corrupt country. Friends, welcome to Bolehland where the impossible is possible. No. 2 is none other than Shahrizat Jalil (UMNO). She lost her Lembah Pantai seat to Nurul Izzah the Princess of Reformasi, and was appointed through the 'backdoor' with a Senatorship to become Women's Minister. The UMNO-led government generously granted a RM250 million soft-loan to her family to start the National Feedlot Centre, which allegedly became their private property. This was the Mother of all scandals in Malaysia even though the amount paled in comparison with Prime Minister Najib Razak's Scorpenes submarines deal and the RM12.5bil Port Klang Free Zone debacle, wherein billions of Malaysian taxpayers' funds were milked. The Shahrizat cows and condos scandal is historic because it ripped UMNO of its last bit of respect from the people. Shahrizat is a liability to UMNO and BN. No way she can win anywhere in Malaysia!

1 : And now friends, the cliffhanger! The No. 1 most non-winnable candidate in Malaysian History goes to ... the most detested Chinese female in Malaysia - Hee Yit Foong of DAP. She was called all sorts of names for prompting the power grab in Perak. The 3rd member of the trio of 'Frogs', Hee became the talk of town and the most frowned upon person in Perak. Yet, for her misdeeds she collected a hefty sum to the tune of RM25 million from a government crony. The people of Jelapang will teach her a lesson if she goes back to Jelapang for votes. The talk is that they will garland her with worn-out slippers and chase her around with broomsticks, but we think she cannot win anywhere in Malaysia because her own backside won't vote for her after seeing her face! How more sarcastic can that be! Hahaha! LOL!

Malaysia Chronicle