Of Cars, Councils and Corruption and RPK

I am a regular receiver of cruddy emails. They’re usually English, rubbish and sometimes oh-my-dear-god-ish! Nevertheless, the emerald of an email I received yesterday was worth sharing. The email was attached with a link to a Malaysia Today article. The article by The Malaysia Today Writer (Government name: Raja Petra Kamaruddin) implied that several lawyers within PKR and MBPJ had been lured by the dangle of the corrupt carrot and were now ethically sullied and economically booming.

Well, when you’re unjustly accused of being corrupt, then you’ve almost certainly made it as a politician.  This I learnt from watching Yes, Prime Minister! For those of you not aged 37 and above, Yes, Prime Minister(and its prequel, Yes, Minister) was a wickedly witty weekly series that detailed the exploits of a blithering, blundering but boastful British Prime Minister. Yes, Britain’s fiction is Malaysia’s reality!  But I digress.

“The Emailer”, robust with ridiculousness after having read Malaysia Today, bared his/her fangs at little nobody me. Much like The Malaysia Today Writer, “The Emailer”, using language a lady shan’t repeat (i.e. illegitimate offspring, female dog and words that rhyme with luck, trucker etc) made accusations that revolted me to the depths of my soul. Well not really, but they annoyed me somewhat!  Classily titled “How much did MBPJ pay you, slut? (personally, I prefer the term trollop), “The Emailer” made the comic claim that owing to my position on the animal affairs committee within MBPJ, I too have made some fiendish friends and am enjoying the fruits of my corruptness.

RPK shows his class or lack of it

The crux of this accusation was that as the President of the Malaysian Animal Welfare Society, I have targeted and accused many government agencies and local councils of animal abuse, yet MBPJ remains safe from my vicious rants. “The Emailer” further suggested that an MBPJ councillor had facilitated the shutting of my mouth by stuffing it with chewy chunks of council cash! Well, I’m flattered beyond bribes! To think me worthy of being shut up has rendered me speechless! Nonetheless, I wish to note here that while I may rightfully revile local councils for their animal abuses, MBPJ remains free of my wrath simply because they don’t go around beating the hell out of hounds!

I am also no longer part of the animal affairs committee in MBPJ. I haven’t been for a very long time. And during my short tenure there, I do recall oily pastries and sallow teas making their way into the big hole in my face, but shiny shillings and dirty dollars were noticeably absent. My professional dealings with MBPJ have led me to subscribe to the view that MBPJ is as corrupt as the Prime Minister’s wife is anorexic.

The Malaysia Today Writer however claims otherwise and has concocted falsehoods to further his sinister aims. The Malaysia Today Writers’ revelations hitherto have been vacuous venomous hissing threats. The recent one is no different but it refers to individuals I know, namely N. Surendran, Sivarasa Rasiah, and Lateefa Koya. These lawyers have been in the forefront of justice and all things good. While Mr. Surendran is a known animal activist, Mr. Sivarasa and Ms. Koya are two politicians who have shown great support for animal rights work in Malaysia. They are incorrigibly incorruptible, in my opinion. Their biggest crimes have probably been purloining pens at meetings!

But The Malaysia Today Writer, a spinachless Popeye, has accused them of answering the clarion call of corruption. And he has done so by spewing lies, lies and more lies. His encyclopaedic and explosive knowledge of corruption appear to have made him quite the truth-less tale teller!

Spineless Popeye goes after Surendran, Sivarasa and Latheefa

Using his platypus of a news portal, The Malaysia Today Writer has made claims that a beggarly Mr. Surendran used “his ill gotten gains” from his MBPJ crony contracts to convert his creaky cart into a carriage made of crystals and chrome. Now while I pay very little attention to cars, I can say with complete certainty that Mr. Surendran, who has been a constant companion in championing animal causes for many years, was not driving a car the likes of Archie’s jalopy prior to his vice-presidency!

It will delight and charm one to learn that the purchase of one’s motor vehicle can be the product of one’s own hard work! Hard work, I’ve been told, is not some form of deviant behaviour and is completely acceptable in many civilised countries. This is a concept clearly foreign to The Malaysia Today Writers’ devious conscience. Hence his hollowed harping of Mr. Sivarasa and Ms. Koya’s swanky law firm being used by MBPJ.  He omits to mention that this not wrong, legally or morally.  They have after all proven to be competent and able lawyers and therefore merit the work afforded to them by MBPJ.

But smite them he must for The Malaysia Today Writer is clearly not on Damon and Pythias terms with PKR. But his feeble fables and foibles will fail to foil those who seek the truth.  And while his “fans” may deem him brilliant but unsound, his daily doses of pathetic “explanations”, “revelations”, “justifications” and “reasons” have shown him to be an outright liar.  One need not a magnifying glass and pipe to know that The Malaysia Today Writer is now a man fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils! That William Shakespeare said some rather good things.

Shenaaz Khan is the president of the Malaysian Animal Welfare Society and reads Malaysia Chronicle