Malaysia doesn’t feel like home anymore

We are not the nation we used to be. There is too much bickering, hatred, bullying and exchanges of threats and harsh comments instead.

Every morning after sending my boy to school, I like to drive to my neighbourhood park for my morning walks. Seated under the rows of oak trees after my rounds, I indulge in my favourite past time – people watching.

I have always loved observing the people in my neighbourhood – they are so lively and colourful. Like the aunty who is a regular at the park – she always does her morning walks in a saree and sandals. There’s also the small group of uncles performing Tai-Chi with some sort of metal swords – they tend to remind me of Bruce Lee in slow motion. Sometimes I get to see the little ones playing hide and seek with their nannies. And not forgetting the hunkies with nice biceps and gorgeous smiles – sigh.

My morning leisure time usually ends with a cup of Bru Coffee and a plate of plain tosai with coconut chutney at an Indian makan place next to a longkang. Sometimes I am there clearing my thoughts armed with my morning newspaper but mostly I enjoy sharing my table with others and engaging in nice, friendly chats.

These are the things I look forward to every morning. But lately it isn’t the same.

Less people come to the park. Or the makan place. Even those who do, prefer to keep to themselves. They are always in a hurry. Always frowning over trivial things. They seem to be at the edge of their seats.

They snap when the waiter messes up their orders. They snap at the sound of the car honking behind them. They snap at the sight of a policeman. They snap hearing a toddler’s loud cry intruding their Zen moment. They snap standing inside an overly crowded elevator. They snap on the streets, at the office, at home, at the park, at the mall, at the market, at the fair. They snap at almost everything, everywhere.

Forget about the usual “Hi” and “Apa khabar” or a simple “Thanks” and “Sorry”.

They don’t even smile anymore.

Everyone seems too tired of the drama that is escalating around us.

Being oppressed by the same people who are supposed to protect and take care of our best interests can break us up as individuals, society and nation.

I am sorry if I sound bitter but I am really crushed.

At one time, I could never imagine leaving Malaysia.

Today, Malaysia doesn’t feel like home anymore.

The thing is, it is not just about “those” people abusing the power we grant them. The bigger problem is us – the situation of our country is affecting us badly. And we are allowing it to creep into our skin and spread like cancer cells.

We are not the same nation we used to be. There is too much bickering. Too much hatred. Too much bullying. Exchanges of harsh comments, threats.

Today all that matters are ourselves, our families and those of our own kind. If someone doesn’t belong in our pack, we are quick to treat them with disrespect.

We have become a selfish, ignorant nation. Anyone who doesn’t resonate with our set of thinking, faith and beliefs are declared enemies.

Whatever happened to the love we had for each other?

How are we supposed to change the system and policies if we do not change our behaviours and attitudes?

Sigh. I am getting tired of sitting alone under the oak trees every morning hoping for miracles. I see familiar faces but strange behaviours. No more friendly chats. No more kind gestures. No more smiles.

Like I said, Malaysia doesn’t feel like home anymore.