Politics and Malay weddings

 

Malay weddings can be a source of some of the best stories about Malay politicians.

I was a guest at a wedding, when a friend asked me why I write about political issues. I said: "I don't choose to write about politics, but in Malaysia, there is very little difference between Malaysian life and politics."

Politics is about our lives, and our lives are determined by the decisions made by politicians which affect almost every area of it. 

For instance, where one lives may not sound political, but the Malays get discounts if they buy houses in new developments, and non-Malays are not allowed to purchase homes or land in certain areas.

Writing about where one shops should not have any political connection, but once at KLIA, I was not allowed to buy a bottle of single malt, even if it was a present for a friend, simply because I am Muslim. 

Last week, supermarket chain Jaya Grocer in Puncak Alam was bullied by an assemblyperson until the alcohol and non-halal food sections were boarded.

Even one's clothes have political connotations. A routine, boring visit to a government department can end up being fraught and full of tension when security guards and civil servants interpret the dress code by their own conservative values. 

Elsewhere, Muslims are not spared. A few Muslim women have alleged that they were told off for tying their hair up in a bun, under a tudung.

My friend suggested that Friday prayers were free of political interference. However, Friday sermons are now very political and preachers cannot stray from the script dictated by the Islamic Development Department (Jakim), and they hardly talk about issues affecting the local community.

In 1982, PAS issued a fatwa describing Umno as infidels and two sessions of Friday prayers had to be held. One for the infidel Umno and another for PAS followers.

So, when my friend mentioned Malay weddings and said that they should surely be free from politics, I disagreed.

Many Malays may appear not to be interested in what goes on in their lives, meaning politics, but some weddings today are less about the union of two people, than about showing off and parading the "special guests" especially if some of them are in Malaysia's "who's who."

Once, I was asked to invite two politicians to a wedding that I had been invited to. The hosts wanted to meet a veteran politician, who cracked good jokes, and a newly appointed youth minister whom the family's teenagers idolised. I declined. 

The day should be for the happy couple and should not be turned into an event where other guests could take selfies with the politicians.

Some wedding invitations mention the name of a special guest (tetamu khas), usually a Tan Sri or Datuk, who may be a relative and is almost always a politician or high ranking civil servant. Is this boast necessary?

Sometimes, very important people are invited but many often turn up late and only stay for a few minutes, because they are going to several weddings that night. 

Other guests cannot eat until the very important guest has arrived, although the food is on the table and getting cold. So, many guests leave early because they are hungry (and angry). 

Some people have told me that if there is an important guest of honour, they decline the invitation. These special guests inadvertently cause a lot of ill-will.

Today, few weddings take place in private family houses. As Malays climb up the social ladder, they need to please all their friends, business acquaintances and political colleagues. The only way to accommodate all of them is to hire a community hall or a luxurious hotel. The venue is another giveaway.

The arrival of the special guests is like watching senior Umno-Baru politicians arrive at the Putra World Trade Centre for the annual general meeting. 

They drive up in their luxury imported cars, and when their number one wife, mistress or youngest wife steps out, bedecked in her bling and Manolo Blahniks, you wonder how they could afford these items on the meagre salary of an MP or MB. You ask yourself, were the jewels and car bought by a crony or taxpayer?

Sadly, Malays have done away with the old traditions, because the religious authorities have decided that many of the rituals are Hindu in origin. It is equally sad that one cannot let one's hair down and joget (dance) afterwards.

Sometimes when the bride or groom's family members wear clothes made from the same material, it looks more like a political party's gathering rather than a wedding.

Then there are the seating arrangements. The politicians who are huddled together are possibly hatching another plot to disarm their foes. It is quite nauseating watching people who are not related to the politician, bowing very low and kissing their hands.

If one is seated at the same table as a politician, one obtains the most interesting information. How else would one learn about other politicians who have benefited from their friendship with an MB, MP or PM, and managed to get contracts, or tracts of government land, which are then sold at a handsome profit? 

Sometimes, you hear about other indiscretions, which cannot be put into print.

The rural or poorer relatives, many of whom travelled a long way to enjoy the occasion, are relegated to the back of the room; but they don't complain. They can watch the spectacle, gossip and consider themselves lucky, because they can escape through the nearest exit.

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MARIAM MOKHTAR is a defender of the truth, the admiral-general of the Green Bean Army and president of the Perak Liberation Organisation (PLO). Blog, Twitter. - Mkini

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.