NEVER SAY "NEVER" AGAIN!!!

 

Have you ever said you would NEVER do something, yet ended up doing it despite your strongest declaration? Think back to your younger self. Maybe you said you would never cheat on your taxes, yet you did. Maybe you said you would never lie, yet fabricated something. Maybe you said you would never cheat on a spouse yet did. Perhaps you have said you will never smoke, or never get a divorce yet you are addicted to cigarettes or are single. How many times have you broken a promise to yourself after you saying you never would? How many times have you broken a promise to a friend, family member, or your kids after saying you would never do that? Ever been there? If I had a dollar for every time, I have heard others (and myself) make, declarations with such conviction and confidence, I would be a rich man, typing this from a beach in Barbados instead of my couch in a miserable apartment. The fact is, even the most passionate world views rarely go as planned and those assertions do not hold up. As certain as some things may seem today, you may look back in a week, or a year or five and realize how little you saw coming in your life that would force you to do something you said you never would. I always think twice now before crossing my arms in stubbornness after writing something in stone.

How many times have you stated, “I will never go/try/do”? How many times have you actually tried, or ended up doing just what you thought you would not do, only to be surprised by the outcome? Maybe whatever it was not so bad after all. Saying “I will never…” to experiences you think or assume (we all know what that really stands for) will not benefit you, or may have the potential to produce a negative outcome, is a way of cutting yourself short of the variety of experiences life has to offer. How can you know you do not like something if you never try it? How do you know you would not end up discovering something new even if that outcome does end up being “negative”? Life is full of ups and downs, with lessons to learn no matter what. 

Declaring that you will “never go/try/do” something is the same as saying “no” to life. You rejected the variety of experiences and unlimited possibilities life has to offer before giving them a chance. Remember that movie Yes Man, starring Jim Carrey? The premise of this entire comedy was based on this concept. Looking back on your life, there are a number of things you thought and said you would “never do”. Things both good and bad, that today you are happy you did do. These things have helped broaden your horizons by introducing new perspectives to you. For example, you grew up with your mother who does not eat eggs, she absolutely despises them. It is a consistency thing. So naturally, as a kid, you thought you despised them too. Never did you envision them ever becoming part of my normal everyday diet. It was not until a friend introduced you to your first beef bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich in your freshman year in college did you realize what you had been missing out on. Now you love eggs in almost everything and could not imagine life without them. Are there any food, activities, or adventures you have yet to indulge in simply because of the power of persuasion from your closest social groups?

As long as you come out safely on the other end, some of these neglected experiences, really can and do further sculpt and mold you more into the person you are. Even if you are correct with your assumptions about how awful you predict something might be, you have at least said “YES!” to life and picked up another wrinkle of new information for your brain. After all, you might be missing out on the very event you find you cannot live without doing, or finding the soul mate you never would have known existed.

Saying you will “never do” something has a negative connotation. Again, it is like taking on a negative attitude towards life. Why be a Debbie Downer when you can be a Happy Salmah, or a Cheerful Ahmad! In Yes Man, being a “NO man” is definitely an undesirable label to give someone. But, the act of saying “YES!,” represents absolute optimism. No matter how outrageous the request made of someone, in this movie nothing bad is perceived to come to anyone from using the word. There will always be some things we perceive as negative and hope we never partake in or, they never happen to us. However, at the end of the day, all that matters with any circumstance is our perception of these events and what we choose to learn from them. Changing the words, we choose to use is equally important. Instead of saying “I will never do/be/try,” replace that with “I have not tried/gone/done yet, but maybe one day I will.” It has been said by many that our choice of words influences our attitude and is a result of our thought patterns.

By “never saying never,” we accept the random chaos of life. We need to acknowledge that things in life happen we may not have the potential or information to fathom at the present moment, but may reveal a purpose later on. Satisfy those curiosities and experience as much as you can at least once. After all, we only get one chance, what have you got to lose?

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