Failure to manage conflicts causing divorces among young couples

 

Domestic conflicts in daily life are not always a bad thing, says Focus on the Family Malaysia chairman Lee Wee Min. (Freepik pic)

PETALING JAYA: Amid a rising trend of young couples separating and mulling divorce, a family NGO says divorce seems to be the only way to resolve conflicts for some partners.

Lee Wee Min.

Focus on the Family Malaysia chairman Lee Wee Min said the lack of pre-marital counselling could contribute to early divorces as some couples might not have sufficient knowledge about managing life’s challenges together.

He told FMT this made them easily influenced by social media or even third parties, thus affecting their relationship with each other.

“Financial constraints and a lack of understanding between partners are also some causes driving divorces among couples, especially those who marry young,” he said.

In October, deputy law minister Mas Ermieyati Samsudin said nearly 140 divorces were filed daily from March 2020 to August 2021.

During that period, 66,440 divorces were filed by Muslim couples at the shariah courts and 10,346 by non-Muslim partners.

A 2016 study by Psychology Today found that couples who married before the age of 28 were more likely to get divorced compared to their older counterparts.

Lee said filing for divorce would never be an easy decision for a husband and wife, describing it as the last resort for a couple struggling with domestic conflicts, whether due to misunderstandings or pressure from financial issues.

“Unfortunately, the children of these individuals would be the most affected by their parents’ divorce. They might find it hard to understand why their parents were splitting, and may go on to experience anger, worry and even mistrust.

“Studies show that children can grow up well and achieve success in life if they are raised in a harmonious and loving environment by their parents.”

He said it was important for couples to understand that domestic conflicts in daily life were not always a bad thing, as these disputes could go on to strengthen their relationship in the long run.

He said how a couple resolved conflicts in their relationship was key to determining how their marriage turned out, advocating for partners to go for counselling if they felt like they were at a dead-end.

“The most important thing is accepting their partner’s shortcomings, because that will be key to understanding and complementing each other better,” he said.

Lee also said accepting their partner’s flaws does not mean ignoring their weaknesses, but understanding that no one person in this world is perfect.

He said young couples should go through pre-marriage courses with older couples at least a year before getting married to build a better understanding of one another.

“If a couple struggles to overcome their differences during the pre-marital course, they will be advised to seriously consider resolving that issue first before deciding to take the next step (of getting engaged or married),” he said. - FMT