HOLIDAY JOKES - JULY 22 (2)

 

HOLIDAY JOKES

Always self-conscious about his lack of ears, whenever Bob would interview a future employee, he would ask him: “What do you notice that’s different about me?” If the employee would mention his lack of ears (which often they did), it would be a for sure “no” for the job. However, if the employee would mention something else, he would hire the guy. One year, at the holiday business party, Bob approached his most recent hire and asked him if he remembered the last question, he had asked him when interviewing him for the job. “Sure I do,” was his reply. “You asked me what was different about you and I said that you were wearing contact lenses.” “Of all things to answer,” Bob questioned curiously, “why was that the thing you noticed?” “Well, to be honest, it was quite simple. How could you possibly be wearing glasses if you don’t have any ears!” he replied.

 

Brendan: Where do sharks go on summer vacation?
Jordan: Where?
Brendan: Finland!

 

Erik: Why did the robot go on summer vacation?
Sarah: I haven’t a clue.
Erik: He needed to recharge his batteries.

 

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So, Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and, in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. “Boss”, he said, “The pill actually worked!” “That’s all fine” said the boss, “But where were you yesterday?”

 

Mike: Why don’t mummies go on summer vacation?
Hank: I don’t know.
Mike: They’re afraid to relax and unwind!

First woman: My son came to visit for summer vacation.
Second woman: How nice! Did you meet him at the airport?
First woman: Oh, no. I’ve known him for years!

Teacher: Johnny, please use the words “letter carrier” in a sentence.
Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “My dad said that after seeing how many things my mom was bringing on vacation, he would rather letter carrier own luggage.”

A young executive is leaving the office late one evening when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?” “Certainly,” the young executive says. He turns the machine on, inserts the paper, and presses the start button. “Excellent, excellent!” says the CEO as his paper disappears inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”

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