Once when I was a little girl, my mom rushed me to cycle to our kampung grocery store to get her a box of sanitary pads. Not knowing what they were or how to ask the shopkeeper for one, I was given an empty box as a sample.
I remember my mom folding the empty box and tying it with a rubber band so I could easily fit it into my pocket.
“Go straight to the store and come straight home. And remember, do not show the box to anyone, okay?” my mom reminded me a few times before I took off.
When I reached the store, I went straight in, found the shopkeeper and pulled half of the folded box out of my pocket. The shopkeeper nodded as if he understood the secrecy of the mission and went to the back of the shop where sanitary pad boxes were kept, away from the lurking eyes of the public.
When he came back, he brought along a new sanitary pad box wrapped nicely in newspaper and packed in a plastic bag.
I cycled home with my mom’s wrapped sanitary pad in my basket. My brother who was waiting at our house gate immediately took interest in the box which appeared to look like a present.
Not knowing any better, he grabbed the “present” and ran around the house in a zig-zag while tearing the newspaper away.
He finally stopped running when he could not figure out the contents of the box. The look of confusion on his face was priceless and something I could never forget.
While I laughed my heart out, my mom hysterically grabbed the box and its contents from my brother’s hand, feeling really upset about having the sanitary pads paraded in public.
Lessons on puberty and menstruation
In the following years, mom started having private sessions with me where she taught me about puberty, the menstrual cycle, and how I should care for myself once I have my period. I was 11 then.
Mom guided me on how to use, wash, dry, and store reusable menstrual rags when I am at home. Sanitary pads, according to mom, should only be used as period protection when we had activities outside the house. It was cheaper that way, she said.
I had my first period at home, at the age of 13. Mom noticed some stains on my pants and pulled me aside to inform me that I was no longer a “little girl”.
Having reached puberty, I was forced to follow a new set of rules – I was no longer allowed to wrestle with my brothers, sit with my legs open, or lay on the couch to watch TV. Under my mom’s watch, I was expected to “behave”, especially in the company of my father and brothers.
The weirdest thing though was the announcement mom had to make to our close and extended family members, about me reaching puberty. For the few weeks that followed, I received visitors who came bearing gifts, congratulating me for coming of age.
It was weird because there I was being celebrated by my proud parents, uncles, aunties, cousins, and everyone else in the family for having my first period while I was still expected to continue the tradition of buying sanitary pad boxes wrapped in newspaper and smuggling it into the house.
The contradiction was very confusing. I didn’t quite understand if I should be proud or embarrassed about having my monthly cycle.
Having only two females in our household, I naturally depended on my mom’s advice and her old childhood stories to learn how to conduct myself during my time of the month.
“My mother kept us isolated from the rest of the household during our periods. We used to spend time under the stairways and were not allowed to enter the kitchen or prepare meals because menstruating females were seen as unclean back then,” mom explained.
Mom obviously did not keep me isolated during my periods although she was raised in such a way - instead, I was encouraged to perform my daily activities with proper sanitary protection. However, the topic of menstruation continued to be shrouded in secrecy and not discussed openly in our household.
The evolution of periods and pads
Ten years after reaching puberty, at the age of 23, I became a mother of two. I knew from early on that I wanted to be a modern parent who offers better guidance and teachings to my children.
My mom did the same by sweeping aside the traditions that did not make sense to her while keeping the ones that did – I learned from her that traditions and cultures must evolve in order to progress.
My daughter had her first period at the age of 12, it happened at her school. She walked out of the school gate with her baju kurung pulled to her waist, gleefully announcing that her classmates spotted some blood stains on her uniform.
She wasn’t embarrassed at all, knowing it was something natural that happens to every healthy female in the world.
Like my mom, I educated my daughter about puberty and the menstrual cycle. But unlike my mom, I decided to educate my son alongside his sister. I used books and websites to support my explanation and entertained any questions they had about puberty all the way to pregnancy.
Menstruation has never been a hush-hush matter in my house. Growing up, my daughter made sure everyone at home knew when she was having her periods – it was her way of telling others that she could easily get irritable due to her hormonal imbalance during that time of the month.
Sanitary pads are also no longer bought and kept hidden in my house. Instead, it has become a common personal care product like shampoo, toothpaste, and facial cleanser.
This evolution of periods and sanitary pads takes place in many homes today, not only mine. And like my children, our current generation no longer views menstruation or sanitary pads as taboo.
Today, it has become a common practice for many women to carry extra sanitary pads in their handbags, cars, or office drawers for emergency use.
At the same time, women who are urgently in need of a sanitary pad have no qualms to seek one from another, be it a friend or a stranger.
Even our male friends do not shy away from informing their female counterparts if ever stains are spotted on their attire. Or at least, they’d inform another female about it in order to pass the message along.
Over the last 30 years, the sanitary pad industry has advanced tremendously. Gone are the days of sanitary pads with diaper-like thickness.
Today we have sanitary pads with wings that keep pads in place. Pads today use more absorbent materials and better designs to offer more comfort. We even have scented pads which reduce unwanted odour.
Sanitary pad commercials have also become somewhat progressive, breaking stigma and stereotypes by promoting pads as girls’ best friends.
We have definitely come a long way since the day sanitary pad boxes were wrapped in newspaper.
A great initiative
While we celebrate this progress, it is quite disheartening to know there are still some women in society who could not even enjoy proper period protection due to financial constraints.
In a study conducted by the Women, Family, and Community Development Ministry last year, more than 13 percent of teenagers and young women aged 13 to 24 from the B40 group (bottom 40 percent of income earners) could not afford to buy sanitary pads.
To overcome the problem, the ministry distributed 130,000 hygiene kits to more than a thousand schools nationwide.
This year, Health Minister Dr Zaliha Mustafa has continued the effort by launching an initiative to supply free sanitary pads. The implementation is said to begin at the ministry building before it is carried out elsewhere.
While I applaud these great initiatives, I do hope the free sanitary pads reach those who need them the most.
We Malaysians are naturally fond of free products, so much so that there may be attempts by those financially capable to enjoy these free sanitary pads meant for the marginalised community.
I can only hope our conscience is strong enough to keep a rational mind and leave the free pads for those who could not afford them and those deprived of them.
I do really hope the distribution of free pads by the Health Ministry is only the beginning of much greater initiatives. In fact, I think the ministry should take this opportunity to educate women of all ages on periods, alternative choices to pads, and basic sexual health.
Truth be told, many women in our country lack knowledge about the menstrual cycle and the problems associated with it.
And while we’re at it, maybe the ministry can also work hand in hand with other ministries and agencies to include men in conversations on how we can continuously work on changing the negative attitudes around menstruation.
I wish Dr Zaliha and her ministry all the best! - Mkini
FA ABDUL is a multi-award-winning playwright and director in the local performing arts scene, a published author, television scriptwriter, media trainer, and mother. Her ultimate mission in life is to live out of a small suitcase.
The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.
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