30 years of transforming the Malays

Those of you around my age will remember the Malays of the 1950s and 1960s. The Malays, then, were very different. Those born after the 1970s can go watch an old P. Ramli black-and-white movie to see the Malays of the earlier era, the era before the Malays became Pseudo-Arabs. They partied. They drank. They gambled. The women wore skirts and sleeveless/bareback dresses. Now you get arrested if you do all that.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

A friend of mine, Jad, the son of a very famous Perak Mufti (not the present one who is infamous, not famous), told me this joke (which I have already written about before).

This man had four sons. The first went on to become a doctor, the second an engineer, and the third a lawyer. The fourth son who was not so clever was sent to do religious studies and he eventually became a Mufti

We roared with laughter although I admit this is probably a bit unfair to the ex-Perlis Mufti who would not be within this category of becoming a Mufti as a ‘job of the last resort’.

I remember back in the 1970s when many of my friends in Terengganu wanted their kids to become teachers. Why teachers? Well, the working hours are short, you have long holidays, the simple-minded kampong folks regard you highly and anything you say is regarded as the Gospel, and you have a good chance of joining politics and eventually becoming a wakil rakyat.

Yes, 70% of the wakil rakyat of that era were teachers. One even became the Deputy Prime Minister with only a standard six education and he would joke that while he did not have a PhD he did have two BAs.

Actually, the Malay mind used to be very simple. They were very happy becoming a teacher or ustaz (preacher). Then Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad came along in the 1980s and he ‘poisoned’ the minds of the Malays and told them to become just like the Chinese. (That was the gist of his book, The Malay Dilemma, which was initially banned).

Yes, I was there in the Equatorial Hotel in the early days of the 1980s when Dr Mahathir first became Prime Minister. And his war-cry was for the Malays to ape the Chinese, become rich like the Chinese, adopt Chinese ‘work ethics’, go into partnership with the Chinese because the Chinese have the money and the networking that the Malays do not have, and so on and so forth.

Dr Mahathir cajoled, goaded, provoked and pushed the Malays so that he could turn them into ‘Melayu Baru” (‘New Malays’). And, today, 30 years later, what you see all over urban Malaysia are the ‘New Malays’.

To these New Malays, it is all about money. If the Chinese can do it then we can also do it. If we can’t do it then we should block the Chinese from doing it.  Better still, if we can’t do it on our own then we should force the Chinese to share what they have with us -- at least 30% ‘free shares’ in the spirit of the NEP.

Aiyah, Wanita MCA is screaming about the ‘China Dolls’ problem. They want the government to do something about it because, according to them, their husbands are bonking these China Dolls. Actually, as many Malays as Chinese are bonking these China Dolls. The Malays do what the Chinese do.

Anyway, back to Muftis, ustaz and wakil rakyat. Now do you know why most times these people all talk crap? It is because of the quality of these people. In a way you can say that they can never be successful doing something else so they go into religious studies, become teachers, and join politics.

When you talk to these religious teachers or preachers it is always about sex. This cannot. That cannot. Thisharam. That haram. All you hear is about this and that which will lead to sex.

Why this obsession with sex? Well, have you noticed or not that many of these people ‘follow the Prophet’s example’ (the excuse they always offer to justify more than one wife), by having more than one wife? Exactly! These religious people are hornier than a bitch in heat. That is why they are so obsessed with sex. And that is why everything they see is associated with sex.

Valentine’s Day will lead to sex. Parties will lead to sex. Concerts will lead to sex. Hey, there is more sex on the Internet than anywhere else in Malaysia. Why not ban the Internet as well?

Of course, the problem of New Malays is more an urban than a rural problem. This is because the urban Malays want to become Brown Chinese. We call ‘westernised’ Chinese bananas (yellow on the outside but white on the inside). I don’t know what to call these Brown Chinese. Maybe we can call them Pseudo-Chinese.

These Melayu Baru or Pseudo-Chinese are not very nice creatures, I know. Many non-Malays lament that they liked the Melayu Lama (Old Malays) better. In fact, when they travel to the rural areas or the Malay heartland, such as Terengganu and Kelantan, they can still see many Melayu Lama. And they ask: why can’t the urban Malays be just like their rural brethren?

On the other side, while Dr Mahathir was trying to turn the Malays into Chinese, Anwar Ibrahim, who joined Dr Mahathir soon after the latter became Prime Minister, pushed for more Islamisation. Now, 30 years later, we have a whole bunch of Pseudo-Arabs running around Malaysia. This cannot. That cannot. This haram. Thatharam. Concerts cannot. Valentine’s Day cannot. Santa Clause hats cannot. Skirts cannot. Hold hands cannot.

Those of you around my age will remember the Malays of the 1950s and 1960s. The Malays, then, were very different. Those born after the 1970s can go watch an old P. Ramli black-and-white movie to see the Malays of the earlier era, the era before the Malays became Pseudo-Arabs. They partied. They drank. They gambled. The women wore skirts and sleeveless/bareback dresses. Now you get arrested if you do all that.

Can you now understand the problems we are facing in Malaysia? Half the Malays want to become Arabs and the other half want to become Chinese. No one wants to be real Malays any longer. And those in their 60s like me will lament about the good old days when Malays were Malays and not Pseudo-Arabs and Pseudo-Chinese.

And do you know what is most interesting about this whole thing? Both Dr Mahathir and Anwar are not pure Malays (neither am I so please don’t take that statement as an insult to Dr Mahathir or Anwar). And one wants to turn the real Malays into Arabs and the other into Chinese.

So now we have one group of Malays who speak about this cannot, that cannot, this haram, that haram. Then the other group is materialistic, greedy, corrupt, inconsiderate, racist, and only think about money, money, money, power, power, power.

Do you know that back in the 1950s and 1960s it was so difficult to get someone to become the party leader? Everyone would refuse to become the leader and you had to go down on your knees to beg him/her to take over the leadership of the party. Today, they murder, bribe, and badmouth to become the leader.

If I could travel back in time to the 1960s I would make sure that I cekik (strangle) both Dr Mahathir and Anwar. Then, today, Malaysia would still be like it used to be in the old days. Hmmm….maybe not after all. If I do that then Nurul Izzah would not be around today and that would be a great loss to Malaysia as I hope she will one day emerge as the Opposition Leader and lead our nation into the new era when Melayu Lama, Melayu Baru, Cina, India, and what have you, no longer exists and we are all just Malaysians.

Yes, we need the younger generation to do that. The old generation of Dr Mahathir and Anwar have screwed up the country big time.

Oh, and before you start screaming and ask why am I only now whacking Dr Mahathir and Anwar, actually I have been whacking them for some time now, since way back in the 1980s. And what I am saying here is merely a repetition of what I have already said many times before. However, in the past you did not hate me like you do now so you didn’t read properly what I wrote. Hence, when you hate me you are more critical of what I write and when you are more critical you take more notice of what I write.

The bottom line is: when you hate me you read more carefully what I write so that you can find points to whack me.

Don’t believe me? Well, let me put it another way. Ahmad Deedat, a great critic of Christianity, knew more about the Bible and could quote from memory passages of the Bible and tell you which version of the Bible it came from when even the Bishop of South Africa had to open the Bible to check. Anti-Islam Christians have read the Quran thoroughly and can tell you what the Quran says when even Muslim scholars themselves can’t do that.

The bottom line is: Ahmad Deedat and these Christians read the Bible and Quran respectively because they want to find fault and criticise it. The same applies for those of you who hate me and read what I write because you want to whack me.

Okay, after saying all that, let’s see how you whack me and counter what I said above.