Beware! A Christian conspiracy

Horror of horrors, if Christians were to take over the country, they may annihilate everyone in this country, says the writer in this satirical piece.

COMMENT

Recently, some of our revered politicians have emerged to warn Malaysians of an alleged Christian conspiracy. The gravity of this conspiracy warrants the undivided attention of all Malaysians. Not only Muslims, but Buddhists and Hindus too are at risk.

Zulkifli Noordin (IND-Kulim Bandar Baharu) has urged Putrajaya to investigate the matter, saying the Malay community, as the country’s dominant ethnic group, have compromised too much over the years.

Zulkifli also said he was in possession of photographic proof of a thanksgiving held in Penang last year, after the Sarawak state election on April 16, where DAP leaders and a group of local and foreign clergymen had prayed to install a Christian Prime Minister and turn the country into a Christian state.

PAS’s Nasharuddin Mat Isa too has indisputable proof of such a gathering held in Sarawak. Even the Home Ministry has attested that there is some truth in the controversy.

A visibly shakened Perkasa has even made a police report in protest against the perceived

Christianisation threat, and to date some politicians remains jittery, totally alarmed with this dangerous threat that may annihilate everyone in this country.

Yes, you can see the pale stern faces of some of our most revered and respected politicians and you will realise how honestly shocked and desperate they have become. Even NGO Pembela, has called on the police to investigate this threat.

Malaysians should not laugh it off!

Yet, most Malaysians choose to ignore this severe threat, laughing and treating it as mere hocus-pocus instead of heeding the concerned politicians who risked their sanity to warn us of this impending threat.

The spotlight against the Christian community has taken centre stage. Letting our guards down will be the downfall of this country. Some politicians are scared to death that Christians will overrun the country converting everyone in the blink of an eye. Even the Buddhists and Hindus or the Sikhs will not be spared.

These concerned politicians have warned that the 60 percent majority Muslims are still weak, and incapable to ward of a sudden invasion from the staggering 9 percent Christians.

The conspiracy horror
Yes, the Christian conspiracy is really frightening. It is an international conspiracy that involves foreign pastors, priests and clergyman from the UK, South Africa and the USA to Christianise everyone in this country, according to Zulkifli.

Even George Soros cannot be counted out in this equation. Foreign churches are willing to channel funds to help the opposition’s political struggle here! And if the opposition wins the election, Malaysia is doomed to become a Christian country.

When that happens, it won’t take too long before everything is Chrisitianised. Ridhuan Tee, a prominent scholar also warned of a similar threat affecting Indonesia as well.

Not only Muslims, but Buddhists, Taoists, Hindus, Sikhs and Atheists must be on high alert. Once you are converted, you will be baptised immediately and you will not be allowed to return to your own religion.

If you leave Christianity, you might risk death by diehard Christian fanatics or a long stint in a counselling cell.

A dismal life under Christian rule

There will be Christian moral squads around who will encourage the Christians to participate in everything that may be deemed forbidden like consuming liquor, gambling and encouraged to patronize discos, pubs, and coffee-houses or watch live entertainment like Filipino bands and dance performances with women in skimpy clothes. Moral values will tumble and x-rated movies may make a comeback.

Imagine the horror, if Malaysia should become a Christian country with a Christian prime minister.

It will be a dictatorship. BN as the opposition will not stand a chance. There will be massive election fraud and rampant vote rigging. ISA would be used to deter political enemies. It would also be a pain to watch the prime minister crossing his heart, and hope to die every time he makes a public speech.

The Christians would form a master race. Any Malaysian who refuses to convert to Christianity will be downgraded to second class citizens. A new form of NEP will emerge to ensure that the Christian-putras hog the economic bandwagon.

New banking licenses would be given to the Christians and Christians would be given choice places in institutes of higher learning and scholarships. Meritocracy would die a natural death and non Christians would have to study hard to fight for dwindling places in universities nationwide, while new mission schools and universities would be built for Christians only.

There will be rampant corruption, and cronyism that has been stamped out by the BN government, which will once again return to enrich the Christian warlords.

The non Christians will be left to fend for themselves, and will go into business to stem the increasing inequality.

A Christian government will implement the GST, which the BN government has tried hard to put off for 50years. Car prices and highway toll would soar. Everyone would have to pay in full for PTPTN loans. Electricity and water would double along with petrol prices. There will be no funds for welfare and for the upgrade of the women community.

Open tenders will be discontinued, while capital flight may increase to RM5 million a year. There will be uncontrolled spending on mega-projects, skyscrapers, crooked bridges, rare earth and petroleum refineries or nuclear plants.

The Christian Democrats will continue to spend on more submarines, fighter jets, littoral combat ships and RIV vehicles to combat a perceived threat from our hostile neighbours.

Malaysia will also lose its high prestigious ranking in the corruption-free index as well as our commendable human rights record if the Christians take over.

Drastic changes to social, religious rights

Everyone would have to learn a useless language like English, while sacrificing international languages like Malay, Chinese and Indian for the common good.

Yoga and poco poco dance will rear its ugly head again, as more people will take this freedom to indulge in such unfruitful pastimes.

Manchester United fans will start wearing MU football jerseys again and play football in shorts. Bikinis will start to be a trend at public swimming pools.

A Christian government may also try to group everyone as Malaysian citizens instead of by race. They will try to delete race from our IC’s, passports and other personal documents. These will lead to a loss of pride for our beloved culture and bumiputera-ship.

It would also sound the death knell for raced based politics and for the race agenda. In short, there will be no more a Malay Agenda. A Chinese or an Indian Agenda for that matter! How disappointing.

Strict laws would be enacted to prosecute racists and religious bigots. They would be encouraged to look for safe havens in Australia instead.

Another fear is that; Malaysians will drop their religious guard and racial sensitivities to mix with each other, embrace national unity and become close friends. That would be disastrous for the ppposition (BN) who has tried so hard to keep the different races apart for their own safety.

Women would demand for equal status, salaries, standards and equal rights. Men would lose their status as the stronger sex. More women may buy cars and drive, embark on a career instead of staying at home to start a family. They would be emboldened to sue their male counterparts for sexual harassment if they feel victimised.

Even our lands will be taken away in the name of the Acquisition Act to build factories and refineries in the name of development. The Orang Asli’s too would not be spared as a Christian government continues to build billion dollar mega-dams to guard against a future water crisis that may happen 200 years from now.

A deteriorating democracy

Over-sensitive Christians will enact laws to guard against attempts to insult the Christian religion. English translations may not be allowed for Buddhist and Hindu holy books, so as not to confuse the Christians.

Yes, a Christian government may play up the racism and religious card to ensure that Malaysians remain united. Crude propaganda like the 6.3 percent minority Hindus trying to take over the country and install a Hindu government would be magnified to scare citizens.

Even sex videos would not be discounted to try and discredit credible Muslim opposition leaders.

It will be difficult to get permission to build places of worship, as new mosques and temples would need to conform to a Christian architectural building code. Instead we may see more demolitions of places of worship.

Somehow, the DAP has been identified as the chief culprit in this conspiracy, even though there is nothing very Christian about the DAP. None of the top Pakatan Rakyat leaders are known to be Christians either. But who know?! Like the LGBT community, there may be many leaders who are closet Christians.

So folks, we must be vigilant and not allow such a thing to happen to our beloved country. When you go to the polls, remember it is not forbidden to vote for the MCA or MIC. Sometimes, it pays to take heed, the advice of a pondok cleric from the Terengganu hinterlands.

Moreover, unlike the Christians, the other races do not subscribe to world domination, and neither do they harbour thoughts of enslaving their own kind politically.

Look at third world Christian countries like Switzerland, Sweden, USA and Australia who can’t be bothered to enact Christian Laws and still insists on secular laws? No wonder there is so much rampant corruption and crime in happening there.

Malaysians must choose wisely to retain the current government, who promises that our lives would be the same, yesterday, today and forever. Already, life is so good in this country, why bother to change the status quo?

A tour guide, trained pilot and naturalist, Iskandar Dzulkarnain has been writing a few years now, especially enjoying political satirical pieces like this one.