How to win power, the BN way

First you call up your fixed deposit

Defending the Reich and the Master Race

Instill fear through strong-arm tactics.

Malaysian police are frightened of flowers – flags placed by citizens for a Malaysian Spring

Use policemen frightened of flowers

Deputy IGP Khalid Abu Bakar said today that flags related to the movement known as the ‘Malaysian Spring’ will be removed as it could lead to illegal activity and violence, as with the Arab Spring.

Flowers will lead to violent revolution, says this fascist of a policeman, who is likely to be the next Inspector-General if the Barisan Nasional is returned again.

• Make a public example of those who don’t toe the line Squadron Leader Major Zaidi Ahmad of RMAF Butterworth told to report for duty immediately as a research officer in KL. Air Force officer transferred after report over indelible ink.

Then you buy an insurance package

Bersih protests, Pakatan Rakyat alleges that tens of thousands of dubious voters are being sent to key constituencies.

» Bersih slams the thousands of air-flown dubious voters – Malaysiakini

» Sabah voters home on ‘mysterious’ chartered flight – Malaysiakini

Then you have a party! Many, many parties!

Barisan Nasional clown at a village youth event

Show your IC, get your blue t-shirts, and wait for the lucky draw

Mildly hot entertainment for the 1 Malaysia youth event

Which Malaysian can resist free food? Good business for the hawker, too.

Lucky draw bicycle for a 13-year-old – the blue t-shirt was the price of admission

Getting the kids excited: Wah, free motorbike, and big TV also, from the blue-shirts.

Free food at 1 Malaysia parties all over Penang, with hawkers paid RM1,000 a night or more, to serve local fare at neighbourhood fetes. Blue T-shirt giveaways, and lucky draws.

Finally, you ask them to vote for you! Simple!

Barisan Nasional candidate for Batu Maung: “Growing up, we kids had only half a piece of tempe to eat”

Barisan Nasional candidate for Balik Pulau: “the DAP has done nothing for Penang”

And that’s all it takes to make sure power remains in your hands. Or does it?

Or is this the true picture?

A mammoth final campaign rally for the opposition at the Esplanade, Penang, on Friday night.

On Sunday night, we’ll all know whether this is the true picture, or whether everything above still works.

-uppercaise