BUMNO-SCUMNO BROWN BEANZ ARMY MEANZ FARTZ! by heinz braun kentut, Donplaypuks®, intrepid correspondent for windbreaking breaking news affairs

 

From the sublime to the ridiculous, to the even more ridiculous; from plain lying and thieving to more blatant lying and thieving! This has become BUMNO/SCUMNO's credo since PM Najib performed worse in GE 2103 than Badawi had in GE 2008, and by right, should have been asked to step down, since that was the deal struck between former lying and thieving PM Maha Firaun and BUMNO/SCUMNO, for his racist laden support - that Najib should take a long leave of absence (to Outer Mongolia, perhaps) if he performed worse than Badawi!

Having stolen $billions from Malaysians, principally through the crony kickback and fraudulent direct-nego contract system, and by brazenly abusing and exploiting the New Economic Policy for the benefit of the connected and rich, the Government of Thieves (since 16th July 1981), decided that they came close to losing it completely at GE 2013 because their army of paid bloggers, dubbed the Brown Bean Army, had been remunerated with peanuts (some say an insulting $10 million). This had predictably (with the benefit of 20:20 hindsight) produced baboons and monkeys, and not convincing bloggers and votes. What apparently irked BUMNO/SCUMNO and its Brown Bean Army of paid (peanuts) more than anything else, was not that it had failed, but that it had not been allowed to fail for half a billion dollars!

Not only had BUMNO/SCUMNO thrown good money after bad at its paid army of ineffective bloggers, their blogger "scribes", the Brown Bean Army, led by retired journos and hacks, doomed Arab hating gold traders from Masjid India, cats and dogs, pricks on the wall and dry spinsters, had been battered to nothing by, GOOD GOD, that mysterious, murky and shadowy Red Bean Army, funded by DAP. Chairman Mao and his comrades had triumphed over Chairman Grossemajib who wears the pants (and her PM husband)!

Chairman Grossemajib who wears the pants  (and her PM husband) conveniently ignored that what had really failed BUMNO/SCUMNO was the $100 million paid to APCO, $55 million paid to FBC Media Ltd.( CLICK HERE ) and $1.2 million paid to Josh Trevino (CLICK HERE) to spindoctor (read as blatantly lie) about Anwar Ibrahim, the Opposition, DAP, Sarawak Report and Clare Rewcastle Brown over the allegedly corrupt billions accumulated by Sarawak Chief Minister Taib.

What BUMNO/SCUMNO and its failed Brown Bean Army of bloggers really needed was a scapegoat or two to shoulder the blame for their joint pathetic failure. And given that many a direct-nego contract had dried up for another four years since BUMNO/SCUMNO did not take back Penang, and more significantly, Selangor, they needed a new source of money for more failed spindoctoring, a goat of plenty, so to speak, to milk to glory. What is even more astonishing is that the "Think Tank" at BUMNO/SCUMNO HQ thought they could resurrect their failed Brown Bean Army of failed paid blogger spinmeisters for one last hurrah.

So, BUMNO/SCUMNO went for broke and plucked out of thin air the DAP funded Red Bean Army, who supposedly had a $350 million budget during the run up to GE 2013, to misinform the naive, clueless and easily fooled Malaysians. BUMNO/SCUMNO is of course hugely over-qualified to invent most things out of thin air, and when asked to produce a single Red Bean Army blogger, their Minister for (Ms) Information, a very shabby fellow, was left scratching his goolies.

But that did not deter, not one bit, BUMNO/SCUMNO and some 180 associated NGO's from putting in a budget bid of $350 million to the Government to counter the oh-so-tech savvy and highly effective mythical Red Bean Army traversing the cyber corridors and corrupting the minds of our citizens. Of course they threw in the usual spiel about our youth being misled by DAP. If there's one thing Grossemajib who wears the pants (and her PM husband) detests hearing is that BUMNO/SCUMNO is losing the battle for the youth vote; after all they have KJ (living proof that an Oxford education is no barrier to imbecility) as their youth chief.

What's really amazing is that BUMNO/SCUMNO can, at the drop of a goat's balls, produce a zillion so-called BUMNO/SCUMNO related NGOs to support all sorts of noble causes, like salmon farming during the monsoon, in our east coast waters. Not for nothing are BUMNO/SCUMNO's businesspersons internationally referred to affectionately as fraudtrepreneurs and Ali Babas.

Has there ever been a more brazen bid by BUMNO/SCUMNO, its peanut paid blogger friends and the Government of Thieves to pickpocket the taxpayers' pockets to get instantly rich? I don't think so.

Yet it has not occurred to BUMNO/SCUMNO that if, for a change, they actually championed integrity and truth, the citizens might of their own volition donate $ billions to their cause. 

But then, when lying and stealing has become a culture within even its rank and file, it would be hard for BUMNO/SCUMNO to break tradition and walk and talk the straight and narrow. A leopard cannot change its spots anymore than BUMNO/SCUMNO fold its pilfering, itchy VD stricken claws.

DAP's Red Bean Army? Don't fart through your mouth as well, please, oh Grossemajib who wears the pants (and her PM husband).

Donplaypuks® with stinking lies, man!