Hidden disabilities: Masking traits just to fit in

PETALING JAYA: Till this day, Everett Yeoh Yunn remembers the annoyed looks and dirty stares he got from his classmates every time he asked his teacher to explain a particular topic.

It’s a reaction he would rather forget, but one that still haunts him especially when he wants something to be clarified.

It’s not Everett’s fault. He has Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism, which makes learning difficult for him but which does not “show” as he looks “normal” in every other way.

And because his condition is only known to a select few, many think he is either “lazy” or “stupid”.

“Most people out there are unforgiving. They don’t think there is anything wrong with us but just that we have a screw loose or are just plain lazy.

“Even when my parents and I informed the teachers, they still did not understand and instead made us feel unwanted,” he told FMT.

Everett, now 27, also said that his condition made him a target of school bullies who picked on him because he was “weird”.

And in some cases, his teachers would also pick on him, especially back in Year 6 in primary school.

Everett recalled how one teacher got irritated with him for no reason and would even throw a chalk or a duster at him, apart from giving him a earful.

“Despite the abuse, she never apologised to me once. Instead, I was forced to make a personal apology.

“And one day, after I lashed out at her, everyone I knew turned their back on me.

“No one wanted to hear my side of the story, and no one believed, not even my parents,” he said of the incident which continues to disturb him.

Everett, who works as a clerk in a construction company, however, is not alone.

Recently, a survey titled “Childhood disability in Malaysia: A study of knowledge, attitudes, and practices” by Unicef noted that Malaysians were more likely to be accepting and responsive when they could clearly identify that a child had a disability than towards a child with a “non-observable” disability that they found difficult to understand.

The study also revealed that there was greater negativity and stigma towards children with behavioural, mental and intellectual disabilities than physically disabled ones.

“Caregivers and service providers reported that children with behavioural disabilities were frequently perceived to be ‘badly behaved’ and children with mental disabilities were called ‘crazy’, ‘stupid’ or ‘clowns’ and were often mocked,” the study noted.

Similarly, Mimi Nur Syahirah, 23, says people would often eyeball her younger sister, who has Down Syndrome.

This was especially when her 15-year old sister would suddenly sit on the floor when she feels tired. And this has happened on several occasions when at the mall.

“People would look at her differently,” she said, adding that such a reaction saddened her.

She also said she felt sorry for her sister who has to deal with the stares and reactions without ever understanding why. - FMT