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THERE IS NO GOD EXCEPT ALLAH
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MALAYSIA Tanah Tumpah Darahku

LOVE MALAYSIA!!!


 


Thursday, October 21, 2021

THURSDAY JOKES - 78

 


Hisham passed away. His will provided RM100,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed from the ceremony, his wife, Aishah, turned to her oldest friend.
"Well, I'm sure Hisham would be pleased," she said.
"I'm sure you're right," replied Liza, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"How much did this really cost?"
"All of it," said Aishah. "One hundred thousand."
"No!" Liza exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but RM100,000?"
Aishah answered. "The funeral was RM16,500. I donated RM1,000 to the mosque. The food and drinks were another RM5,500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Liza computed quickly. "$77,000 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?"
"One and a half carats!"      


What is the definition of a secret?

Something you tell to one person at a time!


A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.
Finally, she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."
Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old thought of the lady gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what "you've" been doing."


Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?
Waiter: No sir, round!


Healthcare costs are rising uncontrollably across the world. 

In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for them.
In England, they have begun rationing healthcare services and in some cases, they have waiting lists for services just to reduce costs even more. In fact, they now have a nine-month waiting list for abortions!


Have you heard the rumour going around about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it!


What is the definition of tomorrow?

One of the greatest labour-saving devices of today!


Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlour. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared some tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom.
The pastor was utterly shocked and surprised. Imagine his curiosity! Most probably, Miss Bea must have flipped or something...!
When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer.
"Miss Bea," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" (pointing to the bowl).
"Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know... I haven't had a cold all winter!"

As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.

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