At times, differing views allow us space to clarify our stand better

 

 I am known as someone who likes to talk a lot. Some people even say that I don’t know how to keep quiet.

Jokes aside, I always believe that engagement and discussion are the best way to overcome any disagreements or, especially, misunderstandings. So in my family, talking is a big thing. When my children make mistakes, we talk a lot.

Especially when it comes to my eldest daughter, because she is in her teenage years, talking sometimes goes on for hours into the night.

Sure, once in a while we lose our patience (on both sides!) and there is some screaming, but most of the time we try to keep calm, listen to each other’s perspectives and try to explain where we are all coming from.

The process of talking can take a long time. It takes some effort to explain things and, it takes even more effort to try to understand things that we don’t understand. But trust me, all the effort is worth it.

Over the years, the communication between my daughter, my wife and I has become so much better. There is less screaming, more listening, and most importantly, so much better understanding.

The frustration of trying to raise children is also dissipated and my daughter acts and behaves so much better.

Of course, it still isn’t fully smooth sailing. Kurt Cobain didn’t write the song ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ for nothing! She will still make mistakes and sometimes repeatedly. We will all still get frustrated, but the process of going through it becomes easier and easier when we can all talk to each other.

I try to practice this talking and listening thing in every aspect of my life and I think society can benefit too if everyone can try to make an effort to do this.

The Gilley issue

I’m not perfect but I do see the benefits of it and so I try hard. So of course, I have opinions when it comes to the recent issue of American political science professor Bruce Gilley from Portland State University speaking at Universiti Malaya.

Most people are familiar with the issue. The professor had given a talk at UM and in his speech, statements were made that were deemed as pro-Israel and anti-Palestine.

Gilley even criticised Malaysia and accused our country of wanting to advocate for another holocaust. Obviously, he was criticised by Malaysians and all programmes and activities involving him were cancelled.

Bruce Gilley

You may visit past news articles to read about the details.

Let it be known that I stand by that Palestine has a right to exist and that no Palestinians should be subjected to violence, torture and killing in any form.

What is happening in Palestine right now is a horrible and cruel injustice. However, with all that being said, personally, I think that we can allow Gilley to say whatever he says or wants to say about the issue.

I feel that way because, even though I do not believe in his opinions of the matter, I see it as an opportunity to talk, discuss and argue the issues.

It is particularly because I do not believe in his opinions that I want to have the opportunity to counter his narrative, argue with him and prove him wrong. The icing on the cake is if we can either persuade him to change his opinions or other people who share his opinions.

It will also be a good opportunity to clarify our own stand on the issue of Palestine. There is no harm in reaffirming our opinions and stand and, it can also be a way to educate those among us who don’t fully understand the issue.

I am sure there are also many Malaysians who may support the Palestinian cause but aren’t really aware of why they need to support it.

Like my children who, a few months ago, were involved in the Palestinian week of activities in their school. They were waving the Palestinian flag but they didn’t fully understand why. So, at home, my wife and I had to sit them down and explain to them what it was all about (otherwise, it would just be mindless indoctrination).

They are still young, so the information had to be filtered and edited in a way they can understand, of course.

At the end of the day, talking, discourse and debate are good to promote understanding and non-violence. However, the talking needs to be multifaceted and from many different viewpoints.

If all we ever hear is from one single perspective, then it will just be mindless indoctrination, and what we really want is a thinking society that knows why we stand for what we stand for. - Mkini

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ZAN AZLEE is a writer, documentary filmmaker, journalist and academic. Visit fatbidin.com to view his work.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of MMKtT.