Start every day with
positive thinking!
How
you start the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Have you ever
woken up late, panicked, and then felt like nothing good happened the rest of
the day? This is likely because you started out the day with a negative emotion
and a pessimistic view that carried into every other event you experienced.
Instead of letting this dominate you, start every day with positive
affirmations.
Strengthen your
memory for positive information.
Did you
know that you may be able to increase your positiveness just by memorizing
lists of positive words? It is because when you force your brain to use positive
words frequently, you make these words more accessible, more connected, and
more easily activated in your brain. So when you go to retrieve a word or ideas
from your memory, positive ones will come to the top more easily.
Strengthen your brain's
ability to work with positive information.
Once your
brain has built strong neural networks for positive words, try to
extend these networks by asking your brain to use positive information in new
ways. For example, you could memorize positive words and set an alarm that
reminds you to recall these words, in reverse order, an hour later.
You could print
out these words on cards, cut them into two pieces, shuffle them all
together and then find each card's match. For example, the word "laughter" would be cut into
"laug" and "hter." To match the word pieces, your brain has
to search through lots of positive information to find what it's looking for.
This positive memory recall task may make it easier when you try to think
positive.
Strengthen your
brain's ability to pay attention to the positive.
Are you one of those people who notices the bad stuff - like
when someone cuts you off in the traffic or your food does not taste quite as
good as you wanted it to? In that event, you most likely have trained your
brain to focus on the negative, and your brain has become really good at it. It
can be really challenging to undo this training. So instead, train your brain
to be even better at focusing on the positive.
Condition yourself to
experience random moments of positiveness.
Did you know that you can condition yourself for positiveness?
If you have ever taken an introduction to a psychology course, you would have
probably heard about the study of Pavlov's dog. Here is a quick refresher:
Pavlov had a dog. Pavlov would ring a bell to tell his dog that
it was almost feeding time. Like most dogs, Pavlov's dog would get really
excited when he was about to get fed. So he'd drool all over the place. What
happened? Well, suddenly Pavlov's dog started getting excited just by the sound
of that bell, even when food was not present. Eating food and the sound of the
bell became linked in the dog’s brain. Something as meaningless as a bell was
now making the dog excited.
This effect is called classical conditioning. It is the idea
that when two stimuli are repeatedly paired, the response that was first
elicited by the second stimulus (food) is now elicited by the first stimulus
alone (the bell). This happens all the time without us even realizing it. For
example, the favorite food for many of us is something that we ate as a child
with our families. What likely happened was the positive feelings of being
with family and the particular food got paired in our brains. As a result, we
now get the warm-fuzzy feelings that we got from spending time with
family just from eating the food alone, even if our family is not
currently present when we eat it.
Although your environment is conditioning you to react in some
particular ways all the time, if you know what you are doing, you can
use classical conditioning to boost your positiveness. You do exactly what
Pavlov did. You just repeatedly link boring things (like a bell ringing) with
positive thoughts and feelings over and over again. Pretty soon, these boring
things will generate positiveness automatically. That is classical conditioning
at work. This can help you think positively because when you are going about
your life, maybe even feeling annoyed about stresses or challenges, you
will have these little positive moments that keep you energized and in a good
mood.
THINK POSITIVE, BUT NOT TOO MUCH, AND THINK NEGATIVE WHEN YOU NEED TO.
Of course, thinking positive has its benefits. But thinking
positive is not always the best response. Negative thoughts sometimes have
benefits, too.
When we are sad or grieving, thinking negative thoughts and
showing the emotions that these thoughts create helps us communicate to others
that we need their support and kindness. When we are treated unfairly and
get angry, our thoughts can help motivate us to take corrective action, make
changes in our lives, and change the world. Casually pushing these negative
emotions aside without seriously considering their origins can have negative
consequences. So when you focus on the negative, ask yourself, is this negative
emotion resulting in an action that improves your life? If so, then keep it. If
not, then work on changing it.
Practice gratitude
We will
be the first to admit that there are an infinite number of things to be angry,
sad, or anxious about. But the truth is that there are also an
infinite number of things to feel passionate, joyful, and excited about. It is
up to us to decide which we want to focus on.
One way
to train your brain to focus on the positive is to practice gratitude.
Gratitude is when we feel or express thankfulness for the people, things,
and experiences we have. When we express gratitude at work, we can more easily
gain the respect and camaraderie of those we work with. When we are grateful
for our partners or friends, they are more generous and kind to us. When we are
grateful for the little things in our day-to-day lives, we find more meaning
and satisfaction in our lives.
Savor the good moments
Too often we let the good moments pass, without truly
celebrating them. Maybe your friend gives you a small gift or a colleague
makes you laugh. Do you stop to notice and appreciate these small pleasures
that life has to offer? If not, then you could benefit from savoring the
good moments.
Savoring just means holding onto the good thoughts and emotions
we have. You can savor by holding on to the emotions you are feeling in
positive moments. Or you can savor by thinking about positive
experiences from the past. Savoring is a great way to develop a long-lasting
stream of positive thoughts and emotions.
Generate positive
emotions by watching fun videos
The broaden-and-build theory suggests that experiencing positive
emotions builds our psychological, intellectual, and social resources, allowing
us to benefit more from our experiences. So how do we infuse our lives with
small bursts of positive emotion?
One way is to watch positive or fun videos. Watching
cat videos or inspirational videos can generate a quick boost of positive
emotions that can help fuel an upward spiral of positive emotions. Just be sure
to mentally hang onto the positive emotions that emerge, through strategies
like savoring, so that you take your good mood with you when you leave the
couch. And be careful not to get sucked in for too long or you may end up
feeling guilty for not getting more done.
Stop minimizing your
successes
We have a
bad habit of downplaying our successes and not fully appreciating
our wins. For example, we may say, “Anyone could memorize these positive
words,” or “I didn’t increase my happiness as much as I wanted to.” But this
fails to recognize the effort that you have put in—effort that not everyone would put in. These phrases minimize
your small successes instead of celebrating them.
We
struggle with this one a lot. People may praise you for building your own
business—a business that helps people increase their happiness and well-being.
But you would say, “Anyone could do it. I just got lucky.” This kind of
thinking downplays all the small efforts you put in to make your business
successful. Anyone could have done it, but they did not; I did.
The same is true for you. Even reading this post all the way to
this point means you are putting effort to improve your ability to think
positive. Give yourself some credit for that. As you pursue positive thinking,
happiness, or well-being - whatever your goal is - take note of your wins.
After every small win, celebrate a little bit.
Stop all-or-nothing
thinking
All-or-nothing
thinking is when we view a situation as all good or all bad. This is another
tough negative thinking habit to overcome. For example, you might
think you are a failure because you have not been particularly successful at
helping kids cultivate the skills that help them think positive and increase
happiness.
On the
other hand, you may have had great success in working with businesses to help
them develop their happiness applications, writing content for these
products and courses, and selling workbooks to help people to learn
happiness skills. What do you think? Does this make you a failure or
success? If you was prone to all-or-nothing thinking, then you have to choose
one or the other.
There is always room for improvement, but be careful not to
start thinking you are a complete failure just because you are not a complete
success in all the ways you had hoped to be. You win some, you lose some. That
is life!!!
As usual, we remind you
to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally
sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.
I think I should say thank you for this good advice. Amidst the ugliness and poison of daily doses of Malaysian politics, it is good to pause for a while to find for ourselves. Thank you.
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