Here we are, together, but apart

 

PART 3

So, what can we do?

We can’t just leave it to others to fix things. Nobody is smart enough or tough enough to bring about all the changes needed, and we ourselves are not free from partisanship that often wildly and unthinkingly sustains the worst excesses of our racial problems.

Let’s do a simple test. Check out the top 20 personal friends whom you text or WhatsApp regularly. Exclude family or workmates.

Of the 20 names, how good a representation of our society are they? How many in your sample of people are not of your own race? Based on your list, can you be convicted of being “colour blind”?

I can see the two extremes of those who should be doing better, but likely are not. If you’re a Malay in the government service or kampungs, I’d imagine the number of non-Malays who’d be on your list would be very small, if not actually zero.

Similarly, if you’re a Chinese working in an SME or even large companies, and living in urban areas. How many Malays are there on your top 20 list of good friends? Probably very few, or perhaps even none.

Whatever your explanations are, while you may not be guilty of actual overt racism, you’re still guilty of not making enough effort to spread your circles beyond the familiar, and of carrying some preconceived, unchallenged assumptions about the other side.

So, here we are, together, but apart.

Time for personal action

What can you do? Do this — tomorrow, pick a person of another race and make an effort to have a conversation with them. If you’re a Muslim, you don’t have to accept a makan with pork or alcohol to do this. If you are a Chinese, you don’t have to convert to Islam for it.

Just have some chats, and see whether you like the person enough to have more chats. It could be awkward, but if you’re open enough, you’re bound to get over your deep-seated assumptions, and may actually find somebody with a different coloured skin whom you can click with.

If it doesn’t work with one person, don’t give up. Remember, there are literally millions of their kind out there, and a sample of one or two or a few don’t reflect the millions. Persevere.

Sting, the singer, in one of his songs says, “We share the same biology, regardless of ideology”. What we share is a common humanity, while where we differ is mostly driven by circumstances – our culture, beliefs, heritage and perhaps history and geography.

For me there are only two types of people – those who are my type, and those who aren’t. Colour, race, religion, bank account, social status or nationality have zero bearing on whether you are or are not my “type”.

I wouldn’t explain who are my “types”; suffice to say they must believe humans are basically the same, and our differences shouldn’t keep us apart, and we should treat others the way we wish to be treated ourselves.

All about being a good Malay

To any fellow Malays wondering whether I’m a good Malay or not, my answer is this – I care about being a good person more. If I achieve that, it will also automatically make me a good Malay. In my book, I can’t be a good Malay unless I’m also a good human being.

Here’s another area where we can make a difference in our society – our schools. Use them to make people know each other better, including their cultures and beliefs and histories. Paraphrasing Sting again, we all love our children, so how could we be that different from each other?

If you are from a Taiping school (and you’re likely to be from a school with mostly a single race), how well do you know Taiping apart from the small corner you live in? Do you know its history, significant places, demographics, voluntary or civil societies, prominent citizens then and now, historical places or places of worship?

Have you visited the Taiping town or district council offices, the police station, the fire station, the hospitals? Or the parks or streets or surrounding villages of Taiping? These are all part and parcel of your local community, and hence of you too.

The same goes with Gopeng or Tenom or Balik Pulau or Tumpat or Muar and so many other communities besides.

Get schools involved

The education ministry should incorporate these activities into the school curriculum. Local civil society should be engaged so local knowledge, pride and resources can be utilised. Set aside a few days a year, perhaps combined with the sports day, for this. Put this into the KPIs of the KL big bosses to make sure it happens.

Hit the local rich people or companies to help fund this, as #NoBudget will always be the answer from the authorities. Certainly, there’ll be bigots who’d find fault with everything, but don’t forget that a peaceful, harmonious society would take the wind out of their sail, and is therefore dangerous for them: hence their objections.

And while we know government schools may never get around to doing this, what about private schools that are not beholden to government money? Why can’t they do this, if they care about finding solutions rather than moaning and whining about how bad things are?

Teachers are some of the most influential people in a young person’s life – sometimes even more so than their parents. They’re overworked already; shouldn’t we make their life easier by incorporating something they can have direct influence and control over?

Making a difference

Granted, many of the teachers themselves are bigoted and racists, but by forcing them to confront their own racism, we may be able to tone it down; otherwise, why should we want such people even near our children?

Coming back to the main point I’m trying to make – we all can make a difference by doing things that (a) will reduce the number of toxic racist individuals by at least one (yourself!) and (b) by believing the Malay proverb that says “sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit”.

Bit by bit, in the long run, you’ll end up creating a mountain. Lots of small actions to help us understand each other better will help in the long run to build a more harmonious and cohesive society.

Our future is too important to be left solely in the hands of others, even if they’re our favourite politicians. And we, collectively, have more power than we realise. Let’s use it for the good of our future generations. - FMT

Editor’s note: This is the final part of a three-part series. The earlier articles are:

Part 1: A new political era, or another false dawn?
Part 2: A powerful racial majority but still running scared

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.