A couple had two little boys
who were always getting into trouble. Their parents knew that if any mischief
occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard
that an elder in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she
asked if he would speak with her sons. The elder agreed but asked to see them
separately.
So,
the mother sent her youngest son first, in the morning. The elder, a huge man
with a booming voice, sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
The boy's mouth dropped open but he made no response. So, the elder repeated
the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again, the
wide-eyed boy made no attempt to answer.
The
elder raised his voice and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy
screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into a closet,
slamming the door behind him.
When
his older brother found him hiding, he asked, "What happened?"
The
younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this
time. God is missing and they think WE did it!"
I
exercised once but found I was allergic to it.
My skin got flushed
and my heart raced, I got sweaty and short of breath...
It's
too dangerous!
A
psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ.
Here's
how it works: if you spend RM 99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you!
Three
old ladies were seated on a park bench when a flasher comes by and opens his
trench coat right in front of them.
The
first old lady had a stroke, the second old lady had a stroke but the third old
lady couldn't reach that far!
At
the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in the
congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
A lady stood and
walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise.
Two months ago, my
husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely
crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctors didn't know if they could help
him."
You could hear a
muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain
that poor Tom must have experienced.
"Tom
was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every
movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a very
delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours and it turned out they
were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum and wrapped
the wire around it to hold it in place."
Again,
the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they
imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom.
"Now," she
announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, after six weeks, Tom is
now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should
recover completely."
All the men sighed
with relief.
The minister rose and
tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and
walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm
Tom."
The
entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the
word is sternum!"
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson
became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed
against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator
stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and
said, "That will teach you not to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Wilson
was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I... I...
didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course, you
didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did it!"
What
do you call a magic dog?
A
labracadabrador!
There
was a beautiful young blonde at a soda machine in Vegas and she arrived there
just before a businessman came to quench his thirst.
She
opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a short while, pushed
a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke. She placed it on a counter
next to the machine.
Then she reached in
her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine.
Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic, and out
came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took
the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment, and pushed the
Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. She placed them both on the
counter next to the Diet Coke.
As
she was reaching into her purse again, the businessman, who'd been waiting
patiently for several minutes by then, spoke up. "Excuse me, miss but are
you done yet?"
She looked at him and indignantly asked, "Well, dumb man! Can't you see I'm still winning?"
As usual, we remind you to take your Memo Plus Gold daily. It will help to keep you alert and mentally sharp. For more information or to order for Memo Plus Gold, please visit : https://oze.my.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.