OF COWS, COWHERD, COWSENSE & COWED.

COW

This BULLshit from COW (Club of Obedient Wives) about sex-from-a-distance with different partners is not new. In our hot-blooded days we had multiple disembodied sexual dalliances with the likes of Rachel Welch, Sophia Loren, Gina Lolobrigida and Kim Novak. Not forgetting Sharon Stone too. No need to be religious. Just simple deep concentration (not even fringing on transcendental meditation) and its attendant handwork and viola you explode into multiple blissful nirvanas. Don’t teach us to suck eggs….instead take the advice of my friend, Saudi Ali of London, Neek Hallak. Go find out what it means in Arabic. If Ali’s advice is not compatible, Duke the Whisperer’s Kan Ti Tu might help.

Cows!

COWHERD

I have a friend who is so depressed over his close friend Sharizat that he has not done what he normally does everyday – reading and writing. Disappointment is written all over his rugged face and it took some unusual coaxing before I could convince him to loosen up with a near-noon Tiger. He was floored with her two remarks:” We work very hard” and PKR’s Zuraida is “out to discredit Wanita UMNO.”

Dang! Working hard is wrong. We were drilled endlessly by our parents, teachers and later on our employers. They didn’t know better. We need to work SMART, not HARD. Working HARD to achieve our plan is SMART! Investing money on Condos is not smart! That RM9.8 million could be put to better use to fatten this emaciated herd whose framework is embarrassingly evident in this picture!

Before we parted I told him not to be too enamored of this particular basket of politicians. They are all a disappointment. They can’t help it, they just are….still dependent on crutches and cronyism. I told him to tell her that, if their continued friendship meant something thing to him. His parting shot: By the way, her husband is a…….. (bleep).

Dung!

COWSENSE

The auditor-general said that the NFC (National Feedlot Corporation) is a mess but Umno Youth chief Khairy Jamaluddin contradicts the AG by saying that it is a good strategic investment move.

And this Rembau Lembu wants to be PM before 40? This is what a M’kini reader wrote:

SusahKes: KJ, have you done project financing before? You're supposed to be from Oxford, and you had a go at investment banking with ECM Libra.

Tell me which bank would lend you a project facility, and later allow you to draw down and utilise/invest the said funds for something that has got no connection whatsoever with that project - unless of course, NMLC (National Meat and Livestocks Corporation) meant to house the cows in the condo?

Do you know how many rules a bank would have to compromise or neglect in respect of its corporate governance if it was to close one eye and allow its borrower use the credit facility for something other than its intended purpose?

Tell me which bank does that in Malaysia? Or is it only the Malaysian government that is so dumb to appreciate Banking 101?

Ox…..(fart)!

COWED

"As the head of Islam of this state, I am responsible to ensure the administration of Islam in this state runs smoothly and effectively.

"Hence, I command all assemblypersons to agree to all proposed amendments presented and then approve the said Bill so that all the proposed amendments can be implemented immediately," reads the decree.

The Pakatan Selangor State Assembly was confronted with this ultimatum. They were cowed into submission and they gave easy passage to this royal edict! Why didn’t they SEEK COUNSEL? Is it arrogance, ignorance or pure pusilanimity that they so easily painted themselves into a corner? Is Pakatan serious about marching into Putrajaya? Prove to us that we need not have to weigh our options! I for one will remain loyal to my cause - a new Malaysia courtesy of a new government. Loyalty is an admirable virtue, blind loyalty questionable, but purblind loyalty is definitely a no-no. Loyalty forced through fear is DEGRADING! We cannot condone this from our elected representatives. SHAPE UP! The rakyat has to make a decision soon.

COW(wards)!