Some Suggestions fror Special Classes For U Turning Umno Leaders

 

• Former Umno leaders who wish to return must join special class 
• important for them to appreciate party's struggle
• (If) they want to return to Umno join special workshop 
• to understand fundamentals behind party's inception
• unfair for former party members to simply make U-turn 
• Umno has to be stern on former hypocrites
• Dr Mahathir said he still cares for Umno
• However, Mahathir put up conditions to return to Umno
• "If Umno returns to original policy (Huh?)  I can return 
• but I cannot work with culprits he said

My comments :

I have some suggestions for those special classes for the U turning Umno leaders.

1.  A Class on Lock Up Uniforms

Considering that Umno leaders have made unexpected appearances at the lock-ups and the Courts it is appropriate that U turning Umno leaders take a class on proper dress codes for lock-ups, High Court appearances and such.

If they should wear orange jump suits or a suit and tie etc. Handcuffs and chains optional?

2. An advanced class on prison etiquette including social distancing

Considering that some of them have already had prison sentences pronounced upon them it should be appropriate that the Special Classes include in-depth education on prison etiquette.  Social distancing in prison will come in handy.

3. Advanced class on lawyer hiring skills. 

It is always good to have really sneaky lawyers at hand. The Special Classes should highlight hiring lawyers who can argue that a dead snake is  not only alive but it can deliver sermons on tv.

The Special Classes should teach U turning Umno leaders that if they hire lawyers who have lost all their cases so far THEN LOOK FOR ANOTHER LAWYER !! Why re-hire the same loser lawyer?

If the lawyers fees are more than RM1.0 million, then include a success clause in the lawyers fees.  The fees in  excess of RM1.0 million will only be paid if the case is won. If the case is lost, the fees will be capped at RM1.0 million ONLY. 

4. Special Classes on sleeping with anything and everything

To ensure political survival UMNO should be ok to work with Pas, DAP, Bersatu, Pejuang, Dr Mahathir, BN, PN, PH or whoever else that comes along. Survival is important. If Chin Peng returns from the grave, invite him for midnite supper ok.

5.    Plastic surgery 

There is a new module currently being drafted. Plastic surgey is not to hide your identity. More to prevent your eyes from appearing too round.

There has been a request for a module on how to manage multiple wives and their assets from inside prison. There is sufficient experience in the party to teach this class at the Intermediate and Advanced levels.

Thank you.

The views expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of MMKtT.